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we are so negative about love!!

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Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)
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  • #155680
    Hannah
    Participant

    I thought I was in love once before, but really nothing compares to how I feel now. When you’re in love, you think you will do anything for them- and you will. Have you ever felt a love so strong it brings you to tears in seconds, just thinking about it. That’s happening right now. Being in love is magical. Which is such a cliche, but it’s real. When you find it, it seems like you’ve found the rest of your life. Nothing else matters as long as I have them. It’s so beautiful how one person can truly make or break you. My ex-boyfriend just about broke me. I went into depression and honestly, i’m still fighting to come out of it. It’s hard. Love is so hard. But it is so worth it. It is so worth seeing that same beautiful smile everyday. And hearing that soothing voice. And being held in his tight arms when I’m scared or anxious everything is falling apart. Love is the one constant we have. Never be afraid to fully invest yourself. Yes, it will hurt at times, but the love and the trust you get from it is priceless.

    #155756
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Hannah:

    You wrote about being in love, somewhat edited: “(It) is magical… Nothing else matters as long as I have (that) one person (who) can truly make or break you.

    … It is so worth seeing that same beautiful smile everyday.. hearing that soothing voice… being held in his tight arms when I’m scared or anxious everything is falling apart.

    Love is the one constant we have… priceless.”

    A powerful post. So clearly the first love experience we have is with our parent, primary care taker. For a child, that love is magical and a parent can indeed “truly make or break you”. For a child, seeing the parent smile, hearing her soothing voice, being held, these are necessary needs. A child needs these from a parent as badly as oxygen. Without these things survival is possible, thriving is not. And so, love indeed is priceless. (No amount of money, toys, luxuries can make up for lack of love).

    Do you see the connection between that first love and adult romantic love?

    anita

     

    #155834
    RamoneJoseph
    Participant

    Hello Hannah,

    I don’t think that we are negative about love, but I do think that our society struggles with “love”.  The word itself is overused and often inappropriately. We say things like “I just love your new hair cut!” or “I love ketchup on my fries!” Is that what we really mean though? Is love such a generic and simple thing that we can express it in this way? I don’t think it should be like that. Love as an emotion has become so watered down and is quickly and easily expressed as such. I think that love should be reserved for when a relationship is truly worthy.

    Anita talks about the love of a child and his parents. This is an important love, and one that is often taken for granted.  Every parent loves their child, right? Every child also loves their parents, right?  Nope…  The world is an imperfect place filled with imperfect people, so it’s actually quite common that this basic need for genuine love in a child/parent relationship is lacking, and believe me, it has horrible consequences. So if you can, be thankful for the love that you have with your parents, and if you can’t, you may need some help establishing healthy love in your other relationships.

    Love in a romantic relationship seems to be among the top priorities in our society today, but again, due to the imperfections of humans we find ourselves gambling to find what we hope is love. As simple animals our primal instincts encourage us to find partners to reproduce, but society and civilization has created expectations of what is acceptable behavior and we have been programmed to believe. This worries me because as you stated this makes people feel that they’ve “found the rest of your life”, “Nothing else matters as long as I have them.” ” It’s so beautiful how one person can truly make or break you.” “Love is the one constant we have.” When these things are not true. That is not love. That is codependency. You should never depend on another person to find your happiness. No other person should wield so much power over you to be able to define your life. such love is fleeting at best, with a hope that it will eventually grow into something long lasting.

    The love that you should seek first and foremost is love of self. This can be a difficult task because there is no simple and standard path to self love. But once you can truly love yourself and put yourself first in fulfilling your life, so many other opportunities are presented to love otheres and genuinely be loved by them.

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hold-me-tight/201006/can-love-last-lifetime

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/get-hardy/201203/seven-step-prescription-self-love

    Just my thoughts, and a couple of links to articles I found appropriate starting places…

    Wishing you health and happiness,

    Ramone

     

    #155930
    Eliana
    Participant

    Hi Hannah,

    Yes, I agree very much. Being in love is amazing. However, I think falling in love is easy, and yes, it is great..but when we meet someone who sparks our soul..now that’s what I want.

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