<p class=”p1″>Warning long post!
I really wanted a nice wedding morning, with my loved ones. I invited my aunt June and daughter (16) to my hotel for 09:30 and makeup artist to arrive at 10. Id also paid for a suite so that we could all get ready together. It was always going to be a difficult day, I’d had a miscarriage 2 weeks earlier, (wedding had been brought forward due to pregnancy and my wedding dress had been altered for the bump I now didn’t have) the wedding had also highlighted not having my parents around (both deceased). So to avoid typical family traditions we’d opted for a small elopement style wedding. </p>
<p class=”p1″>I find my auntie difficult, we are close and she sort of acts like a mother to me but at the same time causes me a lot of stress due to alternating between kindness, criticism or indifference. I spoke to her about this after Christmas and explained that the way she doesn’t listen to me/ignores me and is just generally critical of me, leaves me upset. She said she would change. </p>
<p class=”p1″>Leading up to the wedding I’d sent my auntie a Schedule with planned arrival time for getting ready (09:30am). My daughter rang me in a panic at 10:30pm the night before the wedding. (My daughter was staying in a different hotel with June, so me and fiancée could spend night before together).  She said June has said they’re not going to come until 11:30. Apparently she wanted to have a nice leisurely breakfast and arriving to me at 09:30 was too early. They’d debated this for 10 minutes, my daughter of the opinion that they needed to be with me on the wedding morning. My auntie of the opinion that she needed to enjoy a leisurely breakfast (I wouldn’t mind but Junes the type that’s up first thing, so having breakfast at 11ish is completely out of character). I messaged my auntie, saying that I didn’t want to spend my wedding morning on my own talking to the makeup artist and that if there was a problem coming at 09:30, I would come and get my daughter. Her reply was that of course she’ll come, and come earlier if I wanted! My daughter said the minute I’d messaged she’d completely changed her tune. </p>
<p class=”p1″>When they arrived my auntie seemed annoyed, she was quiet and just generally had a ‘face’ on her but never said what was wrong. </p>
<p class=”p1″>I asked if she could iron my daughter’s bridesmaid dress, I said just do it in the suite, where we were. She choose to do it outside in a dark hall. It felt like she was trying to keep out of my way. </p>
<p class=”p1″>And then It felt like she started ignoring what I was asking. For example, She said she was going to put the Prosecco in the sink (to keep it cold) I said don’t put it in the sink, put it in the bath. She said, no it’ll be fine in the sink. I said again, please don’t put it in the sink, I’m going to brush my teeth in the next 10 minutes, so just put it in the bath. 10 minutes later I went to brush my teeth and the Prosecco was in the sink! I felt frustrated – why did she have to ignore me? </p>
<p class=”p1″>The hotel manger came and told me I’d been put in the wrong room and offered me to move into a different room. I was in such a panic – everything was organised and now the makeup artist had arrived, I didn’t know what to do. June took over, and told me to just get my makeup done and she’d take care of moving things between rooms. </p>
<p class=”p1″>Before this, my daughter had given me a card (infront of my aunt) saying it was from my fiancée, and that I was to open it and read it before I left for church.</p>
<p class=”p1″>Moving rooms should have taken about 20mins,  yet for the next 3.5 hours my aunt always looked busy doing something. I’d hoped she’d sit with me, that we’d have a laugh and a joke, she’d do her makeup/hair with me and that I’d have a nice morning spending time with my family. </p>
<p class=”p1″>But that never happened. at some point she’d put her makeup on and done her hair in private and each time I caught a glimpse of her she looked annoyed and was quiet. Each time my daughter sat with me June seemed to give her a job to do ‘make the makeup artist a drink etc’. My morning was just spent talking to the makeup artist which felt a bit sad. </p>
<p class=”p1″>I went to the bathroom and the Asti was now in the sink of the new room – was she trying to wind me up? Again I had to sort the sink out and move the asti to the bath. </p>
<p class=”p1″>June decided she was going to ‘air’ my wedding dress. And hung it on the door frame (between the bathroom and bedroom). I said please don’t put it there, it’ll get knocked. She said it was fine. I said again, it can’t go in the door way, as it would keep getting knocked. </p>
<p class=”p1″>She studied it. As if deciding if I was right or not. She then moved it to the back of the toilet door. I asked if it could go somewhere else – she said, it’s fine there. I said it’ll get caught in the door when people open/close to use the toilet. She said it’s fine, people will just have to leave the toilet door open (I was still bleeding from the miscarriage so didn’t want to leave the toilet door open when I used the bathroom) I said again it’d be better somewhere else. She said no it’s fine. </p>
<p class=”p1″>It was starting to turn into a big disagreement so I just left it. Still bothered by this, about 10 minutes later I revisited it. And asked again if she could find somewhere else to hang the dress so we could close the toilet door  – ‘no it’s fine there’. I sat quietly. I could have moved it but was worried about her kicking off. I was also getting hair and makeup done at the time. </p>
<p class=”p1″>We started looking for my card to open (the one from my fiancée, to be read before we met in church) It was nowhere. My daughter was so upset, she’d been entrusted to give it to me and now we couldn’t find it. She kept asking my auntie (who had moved everything between the rooms) but she just kept shrugging, abit uninterested. My daughter spent about an hour looking for the card, but it never showed up. </p>
<p class=”p1″>My daughter found the card in the evening, it was zipped up in our suitcase with my birth certificate. When she found it my aunt said your Mum must have put it there. </p>
<p class=”p1″>I didn’t, I’d left it on the night stand in the other room. Why didn’t finding it trigger her to remember she’d put it there? Why put the one thing I was supposed to open in the morning zipped up in a suitcase? I can’t shake the feeling that she maybe hid the card. </p>
<p class=”p1″>The wedding car arrived and we set off for church. Suddenly, my aunt was lovely again, big smiles, chatty, just lovely. I was still frustrated that she’d ignored me all morning. Then I noticed she had all my wedding cards in her hand! And had also picked up my fiancées speech. I asked why she had them, She said she didn’t want to leave the cards in the room! I just found it frustrating. And my soon to be husband was also frustrated that she might read his speech. </p>
<p class=”p1″>The rest of the day went ok, partly because I didn’t see much of her. In the evening, she announced to the group that I couldn’t be trusted with keys, and that I lose them. my heart sank – was she about to start a barrage of put me downs? Thank fully she didn’t, but was this comment really the only thing she could say about me to the group on my wedding day?</p>
<p class=”p1″>The night ended and she said she was going to drive her and my daughter back to their hotel. I said I was worried about her driving my daughter as she’d had 2 large glasses of red wine and a glass of Prosecco so was over the limit to drive (my auntie can’t handle a drink). </p>
<p class=”p1″>She said she was fine to drive but if I wanted her to go with my friend she’d do that. I told her I did and  We said good night. I then got a message from my friend saying my auntie wouldn’t go with her and she’d drove her and my daughter back herself. I spent the next half an hour worried about my daughter’s safety in the car. </p>
<p class=”p1″>I’ve come away from my wedding feeling upset with my auntie, I feel like she ignored me all morning, but when I say it out loud – putting Asti in the sink, hanging a wedding dress on a door etc. it doesn’t really seem that bad. She also generously put £500 in a wedding card and is now acting lovely, and kind which leaves me confused. </p>
<p class=”p1″>When I’ve spoken to her before she’s put it down to me been sensitive and I think maybe it is just me that’s sensitive and maybe I’m overthinking/overreacting but I can’t shake this feeling of been upset with her. </p>
<p class=”p1″>I’m really Interested to know what other people would think about my aunties behaviour in the morning and if you’ve any suggestions about what you’d say to my aunt (or not). </p>
<p class=”p1″>Thank you for reading. </p>