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Weird situation with an old flame

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Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
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  • #205743
    Grace
    Participant

    Ok so, I’m in high school and I’m really confused. So there’s this guy I liked throughout the end of 8th grade until the beginning of 10th grade, it was always on and off type of thing ig for me. He was difficult, but so was I. He like people but he was weird with relationships, he didn’t want a relationship but he wanted like a friends with benefits, sort of thing. I honestly just wanted someone there for me and like just to enjoy spending time with. I was always so freaked out and shy on dates whenever we tried that out. But like so was he, so it was really awful lol. Then there was this girl lily who was really gorgeous, and he started to get a thing for her, and like that hurt. And so one day he gets the “courage to tell me” that he liked both of us, and that he chose me. And I know like that when u like someone there shouldn’t be a choice but sometimes we just can’t help ourselves, it’s natural to like multiple people, but he shouldn’t have told me that. But at least he was honest and stuff! He was always straight up with me which I respect. I mean we were still kids and stuff so as much as I’d like to deny it, I was kinda childish, ugh 9th grade me is blah. Haha. Anyways we were close, I told him a lot of stuff I never even told my best friends or my parents. He was always one to listen. And I would’ve done the exact same for him. And did. We would text and call a lot. Some of our calls were really long, 6hrs one time. So yea we really liked eachother, I’m really confused if I loved him or not. I’m pretty sure I did at one point, but just little things kinda made it go away. Like I’d walk up to him and his friends and then he’d grab me and like touch my butt. But 9th grade me was naive. I’m pretty mad at myself taht I let that happen. I just liked him so much idk. But yea. So 10th grade me got control and had an idea of what I wanted. And just cut him off. He knew he did jerky things to me. He’s texted me “hey” a couple of times this year but it led to a short convo and that was it. So second semester me. Last night we had a concert and I kept practicing and he’d say “you got This girl” as a joke. And idk weird stuff lol. TAHTS just how he is. And kept saying hi to me. We had finished a dance show last night and I’m packing up all my costumes and all of a sudden i see this yellow rose ,that our teacher got presented, get dropped right in front of me and I’m so confused liek “was that for me?” And I’m sitting on the floor asking to my friends “did u see who threw that?” It wasn’t a rude throw like it just plopped right in front of me. So I was confused but I just packed it like “aw that was sweet”. So I go out to dinner with family and during dinner HE texts me liek “did u get the rose” and I knew it was him, deep down I knew there’s a possibility it was him. So then idk all these feelings come back. So now I’m confused ugh! Someone please help meee!! Like what should I do? I said thank you ans everything for it. Just liek I said after that we texted a little. But then he just must’ve gone to sleep. Because he never responded but didn’t leave me on read.

    #205773
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Grace:

    Are you confused about what he meant by throwing the rose to you? If so, why not ask him (after he wakes up).

    In the past you had long conversations with him, as long as six hours, you shares. Having a much shorter conversation, honest, direct, simple will give you the information you need at this point.

    anita

    #205783
    Grace
    Participant

    -Anita

    Wow, I think you’re right, I am confused about what the Rose meant, I haven’t talked to him for months, but I’ve seen him around school. It’s kind of awkward, but I get through it. I mean he replied and it was a nice conversation. But like should I just get on with my life, I feel like everytime I like him, it’s for no reason. But I really just liked our friendship. I just feel like I can’t be friends with him because everytime I reconnect, I start to fall into a huge crush.

     

    #205789
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Grace:

    If having a “huge crush” separates you from sensibility, from being able to learn who he is/ what motivates him and makes you unable to choose your behavior thoughtfully, then better have no contact with him.

    anita

    #205819
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Grace,

    It reads to me like this boy will always be slightly behind you. Not enough to be a deal breaker, but enough to be annoying.

    The rose was a gesture that he misses you and is thinking about you. You don’t have to DO anything, just accept the gift.

    Best,

    Inky

    #205851
    Grace
    Participant

    Thank you inky

    I agree it’s just hard to let go of a first major crush..

    sometimes I wish it worked out for the better, but that’s life.

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