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What does it mean when your mother gives back all the childhood cards/pictures?

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This topic contains 6 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  anita 1 month, 3 weeks ago.

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  • #310157

    Lispol
    Participant

    Hi there,

    Sorry for the long title. But just curious, I felt a twinge of rejection when my mother did this. I have a sister and brother and she has kept their homemade cards and school pictures. When I asked her, she said something like, ” Well, I just thought I would give them back so you can have them as your memories.” and that was the end of the conversation. No real explanation other than that. As a mother myself, I consider these things sacred. I told my mother that I made them for her so why would you be giving them to me?

    Confused and a little hurt.

    Anyone have this experience? How did you deal with this?

    Lispol

    #310161

    Mark
    Participant

    Lispol,

    We see the world through our own lens. We don’t see the world as it is, we see it as we are.”  – Anais Nin

    Why can’t you take what your mother says at face value.  I suspect this is a deeper story than what you have presented.

    You don’t feel loved by your mother and this is more proof of that?  Your mother does not really tell the truth to you and this instance is yet another example of that?  That you see your siblings as the favorites and you are the poor child of the family?

    View this as an opportunity to explore what really underlies those feelings of confusion and hurt.  You have the power to change the story you are telling yourself and hence how you feel about it.

    Mark

    #310167

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Lispol:

    Having just re-read your thread of a year ago, maybe your sister has something to do with it, needing to be the center of attention, center stage, pushing you off stage, so that she is the only one on stage.

    Maybe she wants her mother to have only her cards and her pictures?

    anita

    #310239

    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Lispol,

    I would put the most beautiful ones in frames, give them to her as a birthday/Christmas gift. Start with only one or two.

    She’ll say an awkward, “Oh, thank you.”

    You’ll say, “You should really have these.”

    You’ll put them center stage in the kitchen/dining room/living room. Your mother/sister will remove them. You’ll do it again the following year. You have a million of them. When you run out of artwork, the cards put in a photo album.

    See, no. She doesn’t get to do this. You are the beloved child. It’s time they are reminded of that. You’re not going away. You are not a memory. Neither are you your own memory. You do exist.

    Best,

    Inky

    #310241

    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Again,

    To answer your question, no, I haven’t had this happen, but I have had the sensation of being erased. Being erased is when you see NO family photos/memorabilia of yourself to a family household.

    What I did was give my dad a couple framed pictures of my family. What my step-mother did was add more of her pictures center stage at the house entrances. Coincidence? Maybe.

    I remember playing the piano at my dads. Got surprise and praise. The next time I went over there all the piano sheet music was gone. Another coincidence?

    I’m just saying you’re not crazy.

    Inky

    #314321

    Lispol
    Participant

    Thank you all. You all have great insights and wisdom. I try to to overreact but sometimes I fail miserably!!

    #314327

    anita
    Participant

    You are welcome, Lispol. Post again anytime.

    anita

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