Menu

what is "good enough"?

HomeForumsSpiritualitywhat is "good enough"?

New Reply
Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 15 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #105495
    Wisdom
    Participant

    the question is just simple as that. i don’t get what’s good enough, because all it seems to be is if you’re white or if you’re “cool” or if you’re extremely pretty then that’s good enough. but does spirit really even matter anymore? if not then i’ll just give up on tryna connect with people cause apparently i’m not leveling up in shit.

    #105500
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Wisdom:

    I think what you mean by your question, is:

    What is good enough to get a man you love to love you back. Am I correct?

    Or stated a bit differently: What is good enough for a woman to be noticed and loved?

    Which one would fit better to your question or is there a third version that you can come up with? I need a more specific question.

    anita

    #105502
    Wisdom
    Participant

    that could go too anita. that’s pretty much the nail on the head so i won’t lie, yes that’s what i meant. but it kinda goes for everything too. with friends, with everything. so all of the wording goes, but it all comes back down to the same problem.

    #105506
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Wisdom:

    I’ll pick the second the: What is good enough for a woman (ex. Wisdom) to be noticed and loved?

    To be noticed and pursued as a sex object and for a man to look good with, “good enough” often is a a certain type of face and body, that of movie stars/ superstar entertainers, supermodels: other than the face and body it takes body posture, make up, smiles, clothes, confident mannerism, sometimes it helps to carry a small Chihuahua that goes with the hair and purse.

    To be loved, “good enough” is YOU.

    anita

    #105509
    Wisdom
    Participant

    i don’t wanna be a sex object though, i want to be his friend and of course more than that, but something that’s more special than whatever sex is. but i can’t even manage to do that and that probably must be my own fault.

    #105511
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Wisdom:

    I am trying to follow your thinking and please let me know if I get your thinking correctly:

    You never met the man but have been on casual, sporadic online communication with him for some time. You and him never became an online couple, no love sentiments were exchanged, not even close.

    You believe this man is your soulmate, that is: you believe Destiny chose him to be your mate in person, partner in life.

    You also believe that your destiny is not becoming a reality because you are not “good enough” for destiny to take place. You believe you are too inadequate, faulty and not “good enough” for destiny to proceed and make itself your reality.

    Destiny, you believe, can become a reality for a person only if the person is worthy of it.

    Am I correct so far about how you think?

    anita

    #105512
    Wisdom
    Participant

    yes, exactly. people are probably only predestined for things. like look at michael jackson. music was already in his spirit and he got to do what god wanted him to and what he wanted to do. nothing is really attainable unless you were born with “the code”. michael had the code, but someone like me doesn’t. i can cry to god about how bad i wanna make a album like thriller and be friends with stevie wonder, but it won’t happen unless i got the code. now with this guy, all i ever do once i say i give up and maybe whoever he’s looking at is better than me, i keep crawling back to him. but i don’t know if i have the code. i don’t think i ever did. and i don’t expect to believe that i do anytime soon or even ever. maybe all it is is a lesson that needs to be learned out of him or something but i can’t tell if i keep getting gut feelings to go back and try again only to get played and feel like a fool. i’m pretty sure there’s other people more special than me, but then i always feel like it just won’t be right unless it’s him and me. pretty stupid, i know. and you can tell me if any of this or anything i ever say is stupid at all. i’m sick of living what seems to be only a dream that won’t ever come true.

    #105515
    Eris
    Participant

    Hey wisdom

    Michael Jackson seemed deeply unhappy, he definitely didn’t feel good enough as all his plastic surgeries show. So if someone who was that talented and loved didn’t think he was good enough can you actually trust your thoughts that you are not good enough?

    Our feeling of not being good enough just tell us that we don’t FEEL good enough not that we AREN’T good enough.

    hugs

    Eris

    #105516
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Wisdom:

    So you believe you don’t have the code. So destiny is like a scanner in the cash register in a store and you are like a product. The scanner is destiny but you don’t have the bar code, so no connection can be made between the scanner (destiny) and the product (you). I think I get it so far. How interesting, I never came across such creative thinking.

    If you don’t have the code, what is the point then in staying at the cash register? In other words if you don’t have the code to be this man’s partner in life, what is the point of waiting? I mean, if you don’t have the code, no sale.

    Is it time then to move away from the cash register, that is to move away from having any communication with this man?

    Help me understand…?

    anita

    #105521
    Wisdom
    Participant

    i think that’s pretty much the closest to it cause not even i have a full idea of it all since i only sorta gave up on law of attraction like 2 days ago. it’s really all about luck or if you “got it” though. i don’t really think you can make something happen though, it just happens to you if it’s supposed to. like how people say “god wouldn’t give you something you couldn’t handle”, it’s kinda like that. and my whole thing is, i guess i’m still trying to make it happen, but for some reason i feel like god keeps telling me to wait wait wait, and i feel like if i just wait without showing my face or anything, then i’ll lose him. either i’m being played for a fool or there’s something real important about this and i won’t really know until god wants me to know.

    #105524
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Wisdom:

    You keep using the word “fool”- feeling like a fool or in the above “being played for a fool”- played for a fool by whom???

    anita

    #105525
    Wisdom
    Participant

    eris, i’m just seeing your post and yes that’s true too, that michael was pretty unhappy, but i think that’s only self esteem wise. he didn’t have to go to college and think his whole life through sobbing like “well what am i really supposed to do with my life?” he just had the code and he was a musician which i supposed is something that he carried on from another life. maybe he was happy with his life (for some of the part) but he was unhappy with his looks – maybe because of the media or people criticizing him for his skin color or whatever. but he still did something with his life that he enjoyed – music.

    #105528
    Wisdom
    Participant

    anita –

    i could be playing myself. or he could be playing me by not answering anything i ever say or ever paying attention to me. or maybe god is unless this is his way of teaching me some kind of lesson. i don’t know, but usually i’m always the dummy of every situation so automatically, i believe i am a fool in this issue.

    #105531
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Wisdom:

    Well, if you believe you are a fool in this issue, then I hope you acquire some wisdom (as in your name here); try to correct the foolish thinking. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is all about correcting distorted or incorrect thinking. People think incorrectly a whole lot, so much so that a whole therapy discipline is based on correcting … foolish thinking.

    I wish you attended some psychotherapy with a competent therapist that practices CBT and who will work with you on your thinking.

    anita

    #105609
    anita
    Participant

    dear Wisdom:

    I just read your comment to me on the other thread, that feeling something intensely doesn’t make it happen. I am glad you realize it. Emotional Reasoning, it is called, a common thought distortion taught in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). You can google it if you’d like, hopefully find a good source online explaining this distortion (again, very common).

    anita

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 15 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic. Please log in OR register.