Home→Forums→Relationships→What is some advice for an almost 32-year-old virgin?
- This topic has 54 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 3 months, 4 weeks ago by
anita.
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AuthorPosts
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July 9, 2024 at 10:50 am #434842
FrancoParticipantYes I will
July 9, 2024 at 10:52 am #434843
anitaParticipantDear Franco: keep the message short (not too long) and light, yet honest and quite direct..?
anita
July 9, 2024 at 2:57 pm #434848FrancoParticipanthi, I’d like to get to know you better since we haven’t even introduced ourselves, I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time 🙂 …… is this a bad message?
July 9, 2024 at 3:16 pm #434850anitaParticipantDear Franco: it’s a fine message because it’s authentic and simple, nothing complicated or fancy. I particularly like the second sentence because it’s mysterious, it may make her wonder what exactly you want to tell her.
anita
July 11, 2024 at 1:23 pm #434912
HelcatParticipantHi Franco
That sounds like a great message! I wish you the best of luck with sending it. It is reassuring that your profile received a like 😊
Love and best wishes! ❤️🙏
July 19, 2024 at 1:23 pm #435149anitaParticipantHow are you, Franco?
anita
July 21, 2024 at 10:04 am #435199FrancoParticipantHi I’m fine, something strange happened The other day, she and her colleague quickly passed by my house. Her colleague was driving. I was about to go inside since I live in a small town and they know where I live. Later that same day, I met them at a bar. They were sitting at a table, and the girl I like turned quickly, looked at me, and immediately turned her back. Yesterday, I received a like on a photo from her colleague that was posted more than a week ago. I wouldn’t want her colleague to like me. I’m confused because I’m not interested in her colleague as she is much older than me.
July 21, 2024 at 11:29 am #435204anitaParticipantDear Franco:
“the girl I like turned quickly, looked at me, and immediately turned her back. Yesterday, I received a like on a photo from her colleague that was posted more than a week ago. I wouldn’t want her colleague to like me. I’m confused because I’m not interested in her colleague as she is much older than me.“- I understand your confusion.
It is concerning that the one you are interested in turned your back to you (without a smile/ a sign of recognition?)
Perhaps, at the bar, she looked in your direction, but didn’t see you, didn’t register in her mind that you were there?
anita
July 21, 2024 at 11:46 am #435207FrancoParticipantyes, as soon as I got to the bar she definitely saw me because I was coming in front of her even though I hadn’t seen them at first, then afterwards she turned and as soon as she saw me without making any expression she immediately turned her back on me again obviously he recognized me because the distance was short
July 21, 2024 at 12:00 pm #435208anitaParticipantI will read and reply in hours from now.
anita
July 21, 2024 at 8:20 pm #435217anitaParticipantDear Franco:
It seems like she (the one you are interested in) is not interested in you, but I am not sure. Maybe her colleague is interested in you, and she does not want to interfere, I don’t know. There is no substitute to actually asking her, kindly and directly, and receive her Yes, or her No.
It takes courage to ask. I understand.
anita
July 22, 2024 at 1:54 am #435223HelcatParticipantHi Franco
It is way too early to know how she feels. You two have barely spoken and you haven’t yet messaged her. She doesn’t even know you yet. She doesn’t even know that you like her. She thinks that you are just a person who used to come into the shop and then stopped coming in for some unknown reason. Do not talk yourself out of something that you have not yet begun.
You wanted to overcome this issue that you have been plagued by. It is limiting your life, preventing you from happiness. You want a partner and a family one day? You will have to talk to women and even be rejected to achieve those goals. It is okay, everyone gets rejected. EVERYONE! Attraction is random and it doesn’t say anything about you.
Remember the reasons why you want to subject yourself to this uncomfortable experience. You won’t get through it if you aren’t focused and committed to your reasons. You deserve a partner. You deserve to be happy. If you have to go through some short term unhappiness to get there it is a reasonable trade.
Love and best wishes! ❤️🙏
July 22, 2024 at 4:20 am #435227FrancoParticipantthank you for the support you are giving me, unfortunately my insecurities about being inexperienced block me and make me feel bad, but I have to find the courage to come forward. today a friend of mine told me that lately I see you as strange, always stylish, put photos on Instagram but are you in love?
July 22, 2024 at 6:15 am #435231anitaParticipantDear Franco:
You are welcome. About courage, you may want to read from an article in psychology today/ the six attributes of courage. Here are six quotes given there:
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”
“Being terrified but going ahead and doing what must be done—that’s courage.”
“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says, ‘I’ll try again tomorrow.”
“It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.”
“Speak your mind, even if your voice shakes.”
“To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose oneself.”
The article ends with a “Courage Building Exercise”.
anita
July 23, 2024 at 11:40 pm #435331HelcatParticipantHi Franco
Would you like to talk more about your insecurities then since you are feeling blocked by them? Sometimes it is helpful to let these feelings out.
I have a couple of questions for you.
This lady that you have a crush on. If she told you that she was inexperienced, how would respond?
And if a close friend confided in you that they liked someone but were shy to move forward because they were inexperienced and afraid of judgment and rejection. How would you respond?
It is nice that your friend complemented you by calling you stylish. It is not a bad thing to be called strange. People who are different are called such things. You learn to accept and celebrate that you are different.
It seems to me that you are very very hard on yourself Franco. It is hard to move forward while you are so hard on yourself. You need to treat yourself with the same compassion and care that you would treat others.
Love and best wishes! ❤️🙏
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