Dear Nichole:

“Well, I had a call where I kind of exploded on a caller. It was really bad. A lot was said. I was unprofessional. It was not right what I did and I will have to face the consequences. I have a lot of shame around it and am working through that.”-

I didn’t pay attention to this part of your post when I replied to you last night wit red wine in my system. I am sorry that it happened, Nichole! Any news in regard to this???

“I reached out via email and text to Dad… I am not entirely sure how I feel about it. Processing…lol”- How are you feeling about it today?

Of what I did pay attention to last night, I find this part very meaningful: “I believed there was a destination. An end to healing and the pain. But you are right, the process is and will always be ongoing. Especially the more traumatic the upbringing was. And I am beginning to be okay with that too. I enjoy the self discovery and depth that comes with healing.”-

You said it perfectly and I can’t say it any better.

During the long, long time when I believed there was a destination (a happily-ever-after existence), I was greatly disappointed whenever I felt distressed yet again following some healing or better understanding, and figured that I have to restart from zero.

It is only after I understood that a happily-ever-after existence is a thing of fairytales and fantasy, that I stopped having the unrealistic expectation of no more distress. And what happened next was that when I felt distressed I tried to be aware why it happened and what I can learn from it.

Actually, every single day I repeat this mantra in these exact words: “Learn today: base today’s learning on top of yesterday’s, and tomorrow’s on top of today’s. The only kind of learning that can make a positive difference when it comes to mental health-is the continuous, progressive kind, the kind that continues and progresses from one day to the next, building on the previous day’s”.

Thank you for your kind words, Nichole. And I am grateful for you too 🙏

I hope to read from you soon as I am concerned about your job situation.

🤍 Anita