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When it rains it pours, Quarter life crisis

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  • May 27, 2015 at 10:43 am #77375
    lil.lily
    Participant

    I never knew this would happen. But I have gone through so many changes my whole life.

    Just graduated with a degree in Bachelor’s of Arts in Human Development and a minor in Political Science from San Diego.
    Moved to Washington DC in January for Internship program through my school before I graduated. I work at the Capitol Hill as an intern. The program ended, and my colleagues went home. I only have a few friends here in the big city. and I almost feel alone all the time..

    I go on dates, and meet people.. but I don’t feel fulfilled. Back in CA.. I have a lot of friends and family. I just graduated 2 weeks ago..

    I feel like shit. I feel frustrated. I have applied to soo many jobs, and networked here and there. The Capitol Hill does not guarantee you a job after you work for them for free. I will be working for a temporary agency for the meantime till I find a full-time job.

    I had a lover, my bestfriend and companion who I met here, he broke up with me because his ex wants him back.. and she threatened to leave his life forever. he chose her, but he still spends time with me. (She is in NZ at the moment) I hate her for doing this.

    I feel bitter. Feel bitter about lust, not having a glorious social life, living in the city which I chose without family, I feel bitter that I do not have a career yet. I feel impatient.

    I have alot of things I want to do with my life.. I go to church and pray alot.. I plan to take the GRE and apply for master program by the end of the year… I also want to work for Development and work in the field for a developing country.. and that is why I moved to Washington DC to chase my dream.

    Right now.. I am so high strung, my back hurts, I am frustrated and all I want to do is cry. All of a sudden this happened.

    I have moved.. living in Manila when I was a child, lived in CA, studied abroad in Amsterdam. Traveled to 17 countries.
    But I am depressed… and changes happen to my life.. when everything is so good.

    I am also an artist, a painter at heart. And all this empathy sucks into me. I hate it. and it depresses me.. I just want to sleep all day..

    I guess when it rains it pours.

    I am going to Jamaica this friday for 5 days, and hopefully I clear my head.. and focus on my goals and my career. Instead, I have been caught up with everything else. I hope this passes.

    This is my quarter life crisis.

    • This topic was modified 8 years, 11 months ago by lil.lily.
    May 28, 2015 at 7:17 am #77417
    mati gamboa
    Participant

    Lily , it sounds as you are such an amazing young woman , educated and know more about the world then many of us.. I invite you to read Louise hay,book “Gratitude” you can downloaded for free..I was feeling a bit sad and questioned why having done so much I did not have the life I wanted or a partner who love me. In fact I know realize I am so blessed to have everything I have.
    please know you are not the only one who feels the way you feel, many of us have gone through these roller coast of emotions. wishing you well and a beautiful life.

    take care,

    matitta

    May 28, 2015 at 9:18 am #77422
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear lil.lily:
    As I read your post this morning I get the impression that you recite the things you do as if you are going through the motions of what could be amazing things, including the places you moved to and from as a child- as trivial, not exciting, boring. And you mention the changes, all these changes- not in a positive light. Seems to me that what you need is something meaningful that you are not getting, something meaningful that you did not get as a child: that feel good thing- love, perhaps? Something solid in your heart/ mind- the feeling of being loved, valued? Something that does not change? Something to make you feel anchored wherever you are???
    anita

    May 28, 2015 at 8:47 pm #77450
    vefire
    Participant

    Dear lil.lily,

    You are an amazing person and I know how it feels to struggle with what to do with your life and how things don’t seem to go your way. Take things one step at a time. I think going to Jamaica will be a good way to get away.

    I worked in international development in DC so I know it’s tough trying to land a job in this field, but try not to get discouraged. Keep feeling positive and keep looking for opportunities in the areas you want to go into – let me know if you need any help.

    Sorry to hear about your companion – I also went through a break up recently and it’s tough – time will help but I think the best thing is not to be too hard on yourself about it. I’m here to listen if you want.

    It’s hard to make new friends in a big city. I think one of the things that has helped me is to join a club or something you enjoy doing – I know it’s hard while you have to work but you can have a try. I randomly met a new friend by going to DC’s Fiesta Asia – you never know who you will meet!

    If you need someone to talk to, don’t hesitate to let me know.

    vefire

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