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    @inky I just don’t understand what happened and why he was like that towards me. I am trying to make sense of it. I know it takes time. I’m just open, approachable, and friendly. Did he take it the wrong way?


    Thank you @anita I am always very curious about life and learning

    Thank you @Shelly I also always day dream or dream at night. I am very imaginative. If I don’t dream, then I don’t feel human.

    Thank you @Matty your philosophy was beautifully said.


    Hello @anita

    Actually, I do look into my childhood a lot, I see the reflection of myself through my past, present, and future. I was very observant when I was a child. I clearly remember a lot of things about my childhood. I am not too sure what you are asking me Anita.

    I know… I have lived a extraordinary life, I had quite a lot of tantrums as a child, but very observant.


    Hello @jack @anita @trianglesun

    Thank you every one for your responses. I know it’s true. I guess I just except so much sometimes with men. Especially the fact that I told myself I was not going to let them in, or let anyone disappoint me. It is true that I should just focus myself.. and I do. I just get caught up with the wanting, and the needing sometimes… and then I remember what my purpose was..and what I need to do to accomplish my goals.


    Hello Jack

    I see my life as a gift. And we are destined to do, to be, to feel…this phenomenon. But there is the destiny, that wheel of fortune that directs the individual to fortune or misfortune.

    I think a lot about the people who suffer… yes, the disabled, the refuge, and starving children..the poor animals..climage change.

    And I ask myself? How did I get so lucky? I am a very free-spirited, open-minded, creative, and spiritual.

    I see life as beautiful, as a gift. And…when I think of suffering… I think of my destiny. I am 23 years old, and I am applying for a Master’s degree in Public Health, and hopefully I can help people somehow. Some people say.. I am a child of God. and that as a believer I am saved…yet I think of other meanings and experience in life.

    About the euthanasia? I also believe that people can choose to die, if they are suffering.. it doesn’t mean we cannot help them. It is their indiviudal liberty to have that freedom. I am pro-choice and advocate for life. But I believe that it is the person’s choice to choose his/her own destiny with life or death.

    There are so many people living in this world…can our world support everyone? It is scary to think…should we let people die? Some people choose abortion because they cannot support their child, or they cannot simply let a person live in this world…or those people who suffer could never bare anymore.

    I sometimes think…where do people go when they die? Where does there souls go? I think… maybe… they are locked up in the dark because they chose death… and sometimes I think…maybe they are at peace..and sometimes I think of heaven and hell…or a garden..or reincarnation.

    Those are my deep thoughts.

    Life is beautiful though and it is a gift


    @anita How do you over come those distorted thoughts?

    @inlightofhappiness Thank you so much for expressing your words through God’s blessings and wisdom. I always thank him for everything and see the light, sometimes its a bit difficult and I feel so discouraged at times. He is always in my thoughts.


    What do you mean by distorted thinking that was established long ago? @anita


    Hi J (@J and @Inky)

    I am in the same boat as you. I am a recent graduate and I moved to DC, and I moved away from California. I worked as an intern for a Congressman at the Capitol Hill. I have a part time job as a server, and doing another internship (development internship part-time). I have a lot of experience with Non-profits and health care. I received a Bachelor’s of Arts in Human Development (Health Services) with a minor in PSCI. Sometimes, I think..I should have stayed and pursued medicine.. maybe Ill get a better job..

    yet I was unhappy.

    Yet, I can’t seem to get a job with it. It bothers me, and I get so angry. I literally want to cry. I need money, to support myself and pay for my loans.
    I just keep thinking… why? am I not eligible for these jobs? I moved all the way from California to Washington D.C. For crying out loud… I worked for the Congress, I should get a public service job asap. and not have to deal with this.

    I get angry at times.. today I started my job as a server. I still apply for jobs.. and I am studying my GRE so I can get into a Master in Public Health.

    I apply for alot of administration, non-profits, something that fits my alley.. and doing a part-time internship to improve and better my skills.

    I get mad, I cry. Today I cried, and it rained while I biked home. I hate working in the restaurant business. but I need money.

    I plan to travel to Japan to visit my family and Brazil in December.. so that is why.. I am working even though I hate it.

    I found another job.. which will is assisting an elderly (I have alot of experience with elders) and I would get paid alot.

    I am still applying and I never give up. I use my frustration to keep going.

    Another addition to my sadness is the fact that, I lost one of my lover-companions, his ex-gf wanted him back.

    I feel defeated, and unemployed. Its only been a month.. I mean I am not unemployed.. I do have a job. But its not a job that makes a difference in my life.

    I mean.. the betterment of myself. I want to work that provides care, and my knowledge for the betterment of society.

    I hope to join the peace corps with a master program. I pray, alot.. I pray to the lord.. and thank him.

    Yet.. I feel sad.. and depressed. Like a rollercoaster. But I know, I need to keep going. and my destiny will soon come.



    I cry alot.. lately because of all these anxiety.. I am going on a trip to ruminate.. maybe you should.. Or take a day off.. walk around.. go to a live show, read a book.. for me its hard because I soak up life. and I get depressed. But I know I will be alright.. Talk to your friends and everything will be okay


    Hi George,

    I have been feeling like your feeling. I feel empathy all the time though I have been feeling anxious and I fear a lot. I am a fresh graduate, and currently an intern in the Capitol Hill.. and I came from CA. Had a recent break up, and a guy who wants to be friends because he cares about me and wants to be with his girl. And the program ended, and I am in Washington DC alone.

    I fear.. I am looking for a job. and will be working for temp job. I am scared. I just want my career path to come and love.

    Right now everything is like when it rains it pours. I cried alot.. and Having alot of anxiety. I am going to Jamaica for 5 days..and will be able to ruminate myself, my life, and my career goals.


    Thank you so much @MichelleZ Your words are so heartfelt, I kept reading it over and over again. Your thoughts truly means alot to me!

    Thank you again


    HI Steve,

    Just saw that post, we always want what we can’t have

    “Desire is Desire, the sun cannot bleach it or the wash tide away”

    Thats what makes us humans, the dire need for volition

    I think its interesting, because I always feel that way.. I fall in love and feel broken. and the highs and lows.


    @Tamara and @sapnap3


    I felt the same way too.. currently I am trying to get into that Love life. I do love my life. but I want something more.

    I did live in Amsterdam as well I studied abroad.. and I loved every moment of it. It was amazing. the feeling, feeling that excitement. and waking up to the beautiful city. and traveling.

    I am going back to Amsterdam for 20 days.. and I have gotten an Internship to Washington D.C. Don’t get me wrong but I do.. Live in beautiful place

    But I want to feel that love life feeling again.

    Amazing post everyone


    I think you are doing fine. I am 22 and I am deeply troubled at times. I was never an addict, but I was a recreational user. I am only troubled with deep thoughts.

    But.. I would like to address that you should focus more on what you want in life, what would you want to see your life be instead of feeling humiliated.

    For me, I get confused too, but I know what I was as of now, being 22


    @Matt, thank you for your sweet response. I am currently very busy with school, work, internship etc. So, I have alot of time to not feel upset about silly things. I take alot of time to myself at times.. I am starting to paint more often. I feel that if I am painting.. I feel more human. Lately I have been feeling robotic.

    Anyways.. Thank you so much.

    Cheers to life

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