Thank you Mark

I think you’re absolutely right. I don’t really express myself too well and when I talk to friends I begin to babble making myself look silly and feel insecure. A quick background into my life. Was Daddy’s girl, encouragement given by Dad to proceed in life (which was not pursued due to mom wearing trousers). Arranged marriage at 17 (arranged by mom and uncles), lasted 3 years. Divorcee with a son for 5 and a half years. Re-married to someone of my choice, initially I wasn’t accepted by his family due to being a divorcee with a child. My family members although in existence, drifted away as they weren’t fond of him either. Went through all aspects of abuse from ‘then’ husband and verbal abuse from his family, kept it all hush hush. His family accepted me 2 years later and eventually fell in love with me for the person that I was. 2007 my father taken extremely ill, abroad, went to visit with my brother. Within the week of being there, my father passed away. In the meantime, my son ‘then’ 10 yrs of age was sexually assaulted by my ex husband (his step father) in our home (whilst I was abroad at my father’s bedside during his last breaths). This lowlife of a human, not only tortured me upon my return to the UK a week after burying my father abroad, but made himself out to be someone who was next to being GOD……I couldn’t grieve as I was fearful of him. He was a control freak and would put me down constantly. ……. DV was a constant in my marriage from the time of marriage and the initial break up of the marriage was due to abuse which I no longer could tolerate. 2 months after the separation, my son came clean with what he had suffered in the hands of this monstrosity whom I looked to as a protector. My world collapsed around me……. I should have seen this coming, but I didn’t. I NEVER thought that he would turn out to be this evil. Married for over 11 years adding 2 more boys to marriage, I tolerated the anger, hurt, pain and abuse over the years ALONE……this was it. To cut a long story short, the ex husband was found guilty on 4 accounts. Given a 4 year imprisonment (disgusting!!!!) 2 of which he served in prison and the other 2 years which he will be on licence for as of tomorrow (29th December 2013) when he will be released……… So for me its been a long testing few years, but I guess for me to be here, stronger than ever, yes with outbreaks of teardrops every now and again but still soldiering on I guess I can only have some hope for the future…………………….. My father is my guardian angel and I know that he watches over me all the time…………. I miss him very much and I sure miss being center of attention at times too………………….I guess more the ‘you’ll be ok’s’ and hugs………………. 🙁