Sona,

I am of mixed mind about how much I’m “taken care of” and how much I am in (almost) control of my own destiny and life.

I think what my spiritual outlook and practice (Taoist/Buddhist-like) is that we all will go through rough times.  The purpose of my spiritual practice is knowing how to deal with them.  I believe sitting with those kind of sad/bad feelings is the key of being able to deal with life better.  I am not really that good in doing that.  For the most part, I’d look to distract myself out of my loneliness, boredom, sadness, etc.  However, I do believe if I practice more on BEing with whatever negative emotions I experience, the better off I will be in the long run.

I also look to methods that are backed by science on how to be happy.  Such methods are: Physical exercise, sleep, disconnect from social media (stop comparing myself with others), connect with others, spend time with Nature, help others/volunteer, meditate, practice gratitude, and spend money on experiences not things.

If you deeply depressed (sad and grieving) that is keeping you from doing those healthy things then first try BEing/sitting/meditating on that sadness and grief.  Plus try do a little bit at a time to get to doing healthy things like take a walk around the block for you exercise, have a daily gratitude journal, sign up for a regular volunteer (weekly) duty somewhere (ex. food bank) – there are opportunities you can find on craigslist or websites if you google it.

Does that help?

Mark

Sona,

You are welcome.  Another tactic to use is to journal.  You can write your own story where you are happy, finding a great boyfriend, doing fun things with him and others, enjoying helping others, being connected deeply with a few good friends.

Deep, sensitive people are not great partiers.  The world seems to be oriented toward surface extroverts who more doers than thinkers.  Embrace your deep, sensitive side.  Most sensitive people tend towards the arts, i.e. writing, music, art, etc.  More alone activities.

I have connected with people who are similar to me.  I am an INFJ.  I seek those people who are spiritual, kind, searching, and self aware.

I understand about not wanting to more one’s body.  It could be more goal-oriented, i.e. go to the store, to the library, to a bookstore (if they have any of those any more).

Mark

Dear Sona:

I just read your posts in your first thread of almost three years ago where you and I communicated over three pages (you can click your username and find that thread). I am wondering if you still see that therapist you saw at that point four years?

anita

Google Myer-Briggs for INFJ.

INFJs are Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling and Judging personality types. They are gentle, caring and creative people who are highly attuned and sensitive to people’s feelings. Their deep sense of intuition and insight means they are able to understand people and situations instinctively.
While they are often found in caring roles, and helping people whenever they can, they dislike conflict and violence and will go out of their way to avoid it. Conflict and stress takes a toll on INFJs, and they can experience health problems as a result.

INFJs aren’t interested in group activities, small talk or superficial relationships. They want and need deep and meaningful connections with a select few people with whom they can talk about ideas and relate to on an emotional and even spiritual level. Despite their caring nature and natural empathy, the INFJ’s focus is internal, and they are driven by the world of ideas, meanings and possibilities, as well as a lifelong search for personal growth, identity and authenticity.