Hi Mini:

You are welcome 🙂. You are someone who loves with a lot of depth and awareness, Mini. You notice things, you feel things, and you remember things. That’s precious, not “too much”.

Wanting initiative from a partner isn’t unreasonable. It’s natural to want someone to remember what matters to you without needing reminders every time. It’s natural to want to feel chosen, noticed, and cared for emotionally. Those aren’t extravagant needs — they’re human ones.

And I hear how exhausting it feels to be the one doing most of the emotional work. When you’re the person who sees everything, it can feel lonely when the other person doesn’t see you in the same way. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you — it just means he loves differently.

I don’t think your passion is something no one can meet. But I do think it’s something rare. You don’t have to shrink yourself or pretend your needs don’t matter. Because they do matter.

How does it feel to hear that?

🤍 Anita

Hi, Anita! Thank you for the human response, haha. I suspected the use of AI. When I say he loves me deeply, I mean that he really is trying his best, I know that. He compliments me, he tells me he loves me, he’s in awe of me, he adores me. And I truly appreciate that, but like I said, these small things like the favorite color incident really hurt me, because he can’t think like me, haha. Although, he has changed a lot for the better in our time together; I made him more mature and understanding, etc. I don’t want to lose him because I can see that he is devoted to me, and I do enjoy our time together a lot, but whenever something small happens, it ruins my whole day. I’m way too emotional over minuscule things. And I see him trying hard; he sometimes says poetic stuff too, haha. I tried breaking things off multiple times, and I just couldn’t. I missed him too much; he’s so sweet. I feel like I’m way too judgmental of him; he tries his best. I think this stuff affects me even more because we’re away from each other and we barely talk. I’m already sad because we’re slowly talking less and less, and when he misses an opportunity to say something poetic, I feel like we’re not maximizing our time together, and I get upset.

Good evening, Nini:

I hope that you’re having a good weekend with your boyfriend 💕

About my post of this morning, maybe it wasn’t clear. Tying it all together, seems to me that a “small” and “miniscule” inattention by your boyfriend is neither small nor miniscule because any measure of inattention, even the tiniest, triggers the big old wound of not being taken seriously growing up.

It may be about trying to heal the childhood wound in adulthood by getting your boyfriend to give you the attention your parents didn’t.

On top of that I was wondering if part of it is fear of separation from your boyfriend, that is-a fear that small inattentions may grow and become big and devastating, leading to a total loss of the relationship.

If any of this resonate, and if you want to explore these things with me, please do.

It so happens that I grew up (or like I prefer to say, grew-in) unseen. It was a very lonely experience.

🤍 Anita