Dear Helcat:

You are very welcome! I’m so touched that my words brought you some comfort. I know how incredibly difficult it is to lose a beloved pet and navigate tough times in a marriage. Please know that I’m here for you, and you’re not alone in this.

It’s heartwarming to read that my recent post was “like a warm blanket” for you. Your words give me comfort too, knowing that we can support each other through these challenging times.

I read online that “building a supportive network of trusted individuals can provide comfort and validation as you work through your past.” I want to improve the trust between us so that we can be a better supportive network for each other, especially since we have so much in common.

Regarding what we have in common, I re-read what you shared back in 2022, and it perfectly describes my experience as well. We both felt unworthy of love, easily overwhelmed and upset, hyper-vigilant and hyper sensitive to stress and emotional triggers. Both of our mothers had tempers that triggered fear and anxiety, and their behavior often contradicted their words of love, creating confusion and pain. Our shared experiences have shaped us in profound ways.

I acknowledge that in the past, we’ve had some misunderstandings. I got stuck on words and lacked emotional intelligence and presence. My pervasive distrust of people extended to you, but my thinking is less rigid now, and my emotional intelligence and understanding of the necessity of empathy in communication have significantly improved. I am ready for better communication with you.

As for me otherwise, my third and last scheduled dental appointment was concluded, such a relief!

I will close this post with sending you all my love and best wishes. Take care of yourself, and remember that it’s okay to lean on others during tough times.

Warmest regards,

anita

Dear Helcat:

Thank you for your kind message. I appreciate your words and the sentiment of moving forward. 😊

I’m glad to hear that you consider the past water under the bridge, and I agree that we’ve made progress in improving our relationship. It’s reassuring to know that we both value the importance of taking care of ourselves when needed.

I noticed that you mentioned consistency and trust still needing to be worked on. I agree that these are important, and I’d like to better understand what you mean by that. Your insights would help me know how we can continue to improve our interactions.

Also, I’ve noticed that in your thread, you sometimes post journal-like entries that are not directly addressed to me, or to any other member. I’m unsure if you’d like me to respond to those posts or if you’re sharing them more as personal reflections.

Could you let me know your preference? I want to ensure that I’m respecting your intentions and engaging in a way that feels right for you.

Thank you again for your kind words and support.

Love and best wishes, always!

anita

Dear Helcat:

I’m so sorry to hear about everything you’re going through. Losing your dog and dealing with the stress in your marriage all at once must be incredibly overwhelming. It’s completely understandable that you’re feeling hurt and struggling to process everything.

It sounds like you’ve been very clear and strong in setting boundaries and expressing your needs, which is so important for your well-being. It’s also good to hear that your husband is making an effort to empathize and improve things between you.

Grieving the loss of your dog while managing these other challenges is a lot to handle. It’s okay to feel sad and to take the time you need to grieve. Your feelings are valid, and it’s important to honor them.

Here is a poem for you, Helcat:

You’ve faced the storms, the heavy rain,

The loss, the grief, the lingering pain,

Yet through it all, you are standing tall,

With love and courage.

Though the days are dark and full of strife,

With burdens heavy on your life,

Remember you’re not alone, my dear,

In this vast world, we’re all here.

Let yourself feel, let the tears flow,

In this journey, let your heart grow,

For in love and courage,

A garden of strength has truly grown.

anita

Dear Helcat:

You’re carrying an immense amount of stress and fear, and it’s completely understandable that you’re feeling overwhelmed.

Thinking about the future and the potential of losing time with your son is incredibly daunting. Please remember that you have rights and there are legal protections in place to support you and your relationship with your child. Seeking advice from a legal professional might provide some reassurance.

It’s also important to acknowledge how hard you’ve already worked and the struggles you’ve endured. You’re incredibly strong for continuing to push through, even when it feels impossible. Medication can be a useful tool in managing your emotions, but it’s essential to have support from friends, family, or a therapist who can help you navigate these feelings.

The future may seem scary, and the past may be painful, but focusing on one day at a time can make the present more manageable. It’s okay to not have everything figured out right now. Please take care of yourself and know that you don’t have to pretend that everything is okay.

Sending you love and strength during this tough time.

anita

Helcat: “Regarding trust and consistency. I just think that these things develop naturally over time. I feel like the more positive experiences we have with each other, the better. 😊

Do you have any thoughts that you would like to share that you feel would improve our relationship?”

Dear Helcat:

Thank you for your thoughts on trust and consistency. I agree that positive experiences over time are essential for rebuilding trust. 😊

Reflecting on our past interactions, there were times when I felt anxious and unsafe due to certain criticisms and the flagging of my posts. These experiences had a profound impact on me, to the point where I deleted my account and stayed away from the forums for six months. I think it’s important to acknowledge this as we move forward.

I appreciate that since I returned to the forums last year, you haven’t criticized my posts or flagged them. This has helped me feel more comfortable participating again. However, I am still concerned that if you disapprove of something I post, misunderstand my intent, or get triggered by it, those actions might reoccur in the future.

To help improve our relationship and create a positive space, I would like to request that you continue to refrain from publicly criticizing my posts to other members and from flagging my posts. This would help me feel more comfortable and secure while participating in the forums.

I am committed to making our interactions positive and encouraging. Open communication and mutual respect are very important to me, and I believe they will help us build a better relationship.

Thank you for being open to this conversation. I look forward to more positive experiences together.

Warm regards,

anita