Worried about returning to 'our' city

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    Gary R. Smith

    Dear Hopeful33,

    You are capable of meeting the challenge of returning to ‘your’ city. I can feel that capability in the steadiness and balance of your words.

    Based on my life experience and what I sense about you, going through your fears will not set you back to an earlier stage of healing but actually provide an excellent opportunity for you to gain strength and be more your authentic self. That you can talk about the bitter pill of being all alone and how it petrifies you tells me you have enough self awareness and ability to communicate clearly to see you through.

    Since your mind keeps returning to the city where you met your ex and lived, listen to that message. Give yourself uninterrupted time to go deeper into listening. If you are comfortable with it, ask your higher wisdom for specific direction and confirmation.

    Over years, I returned to my hometown where four members of my immediate family died. The town changed too, and familiar landmarks no longer existed. Each visit was another stage of healing. On some visits I felt very sad, as I dwelt on memories. On others I gained more acceptance, until I could live again in the town with neutrality towards the memories, and appreciation for what is. The memories became more distant, and were felt with warmth and understanding in my heart, as I allowed myself to be in the new present moment. You will have your own experiences, of course, and they may include challenging times, but my feeling is that you have a choice to make your own healing journey by returning to your city.

    I am interested to know what you choose and how your journey unfolds.

    As your icon says, “Your future is created by what you do today.”

    For more about creating your future by how you think and act today, I suggest the blog posts at http://www.wholehuman.emanatepresence.com/realizations-blog .

    Best to you.



    Thank you, Anita 🙂 I really appreciate the support. I will certainly post and update you on my journey as things get moving…


    Gary R Smith,

    Thank you for posting such an uplifting, positive reply – and thank you for also sharing your story with me. It makes a lot sense.

    And I do believe you’re right – that it will be a positive step in my healing process. It’s something my dad also said to me – that he feels if I go back and ‘conquer’ this fear of mine, I’ll feel stronger than ever.

    I’m also at the stage in my healing where I see that my breakup really was for the best, and I think this will help me, too. I no longer miss my ex. During the breakup, he lacked respect and compassion for me, and I deserve way more than what I got. I therefore don’t care what he’s doing and where he is. I have zero intention of talking to him, too, so even if I did see him, I’d walk on by.

    I’m looking forward to sharing my journey with you all.

    Thanks again for the support.


    Gary R. Smith

    Dear Hopeful33,

    You are welcome. Helping another helps myself, as we are all connected – all one underneath, actually.

    Wonderful that you are at the stage of your healing where you see that the breakup really was for the best. Every single experience, however tragic or detrimental it may seem, can be beneficial and for the best, when we take it for learning and from it gain understanding. Then we all not only heal but evolve.

    You did not ask me for this, but since you have articulated with so much self-awareness I will risk over-stepping by commenting on your statement that “he lacked respect and compassion for me,…”

    You are right, you deserve the same respect and compassion that all persons and creatures deserve. As we are all one being, respecting others is also respecting ourselves. One of the lessons I’ve learned and will pass on to you is to let go of blaming or criticizing others. It only holds one back from self-growth. Let it go, be neutral or even compassionate towards those whose stage of development determines their behavior.

    I will enjoy to read how life unfolds for you. You can also write to me over the contact form on the Whole Human site.


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