50 Things You Can Control Right Now

Crystal Ballby Lori Deschene

“Why worry about things you can’t control when you can keep yourself busy controlling the things that depend on you?” ~Unknown

CNN reports that psychic businesses are thriving in this challenging economy—and the clientele has expanded to include more business professionals who are worried about their financial future. According to Columbia Business School’s Professor Gita Johar who studies consumer behavior, the greatest motivation for visiting a psychic is to feel a sense of control.

Sure, there are lots of things we can’t control: businesses may fold, stocks may plummet, relationships may end–the list is infinite, really. But wouldn’t we be far more effective if we focused on all things we can control instead; if we stopped worrying about the indefinite and started benefiting from the guaranteed?

Right now you can control:

1. How many times you smile today.
2. How much effort you exert at work.
3. Your level of honesty.
4. How well you prepare.
5. How you act on your feelings.
6. How often you say “thank you.”
7. When you pull out your wallet for luxuries.
8. Whether or not you give someone the benefit of the doubt.
9. How you interpret situations.
10. Whether or not you compete with people around you.
11. How often you notice and appreciate small acts of kindness—they’re everywhere!
12. Whether you listen or wait to talk.
13. When you walk away from a conversation.
14. How nice you are to yourself in your head.
15. Whether you think positive or negative thoughts.
16. Whether or not you form expectations of people.
17. The type of food you eat.
18. When you answer someone’s question—or email or call.
19. How much time you spend worrying.
20. How many new things you try.
21. How much exercise you get.
22. How many times you swear in traffic.
Freedom23. Whether or not you plan for the weather.
24. How much time you spend trying to convince people you’re right.
25. How often you think about your past.
26. How many negative articles you read.
27. The attention you give to your loved ones when you see them.
28. How much you enjoy the things you have right now.
29. Whether or not you communicate something that’s on your mind.
30. How clean or uncluttered you keep your space.
31. What books you read.
32. How well you network at social events.
33. How deeply you breathe when you experience stress.
34. How many times you admit you don’t know something—and then learn something new.
35. How often you use your influence to help people instead of focusing on building your influence.
36. When you ask for help.
37. Which commitments you keep and cancel.
38. How many risks you take.
39. How creative/innovative you are in your thinking.
40. How clear you are when you explain your thoughts.
41. Whether you formulate a new plan or act on your existing one.
42. How much information you get before you make a decision.
43. How much information you share with people.
44. Whether you smoke or drink (unless you’re an alcoholic, in which case I am not qualified to offer you advice.)
45. Whether or not you judge other people.
46. Whether you smell good or bad (unless you have some strange resistance to soap and deodorant).
47. How much of what other people say you believe.
48. How quickly you try again after you fall.
49. How many times you say “I love you.”
50. How much rest you get at night.

Odds are some of these resonate with you more than others; so what? You can’t do 50 things at once anyways. When I start fixating on something I can’t control, I pick just one of these to think about instead. Minor changes in thinking, I’ve found, lead to major changes in my reality. Do you have any to add to the list?


Read more about me here or at lorideschene.com and follow me on Twitter @lori_deschene. If you’d like to submit a guest post, send it email @ tinybuddha.com.

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  4. How to Correct Your Mind to Get Out of a Funk
  • http://habitualvictory.com/ Mike Shippey

    Lori – this is GREAT! And so important.
    It lifts a huge burden when we focus on the things that we have absolute control over, and release the things that we don't.
    It is also how we begin to achieve meaningful results in all areas of our lives.
    Thanks for posting!
    All the best,
    MS

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  • Joe Fortino

    I love this! Thank You.

  • crankepants

    Thankyou that was beautifully timed.

  • http://alumnicareernotes.blogs.bucknell.edu/2010/03/23/what-you-can-control/ What You Can Control « Alumni Career Notes

    [...] search can make one feel so helpless. If you are feeling discouraged, check out this article about 50 Things You Can Control Right Now. Posted by Sarah Bell on March 23, 2010 No [...]

  • kristenlazzara

    Thanks. I needed that.

  • Ari

    These are great points, but I thought #46 was worded with some judgement. There are many reasons someone might have a “strange resistance” to soap or deodorant that are really not that strange but simply natural. You can smell good by bathing without any products. Besides, the idea of smelling “good” or “bad” is so subjective; one woman's perfume is another woman's chemical sensitivity and one man's body-odor is another's musky turn-on!

  • http://twitter.com/lori_deschene Lori Deschene

    You're most welcome. I'm glad you enjoyed this post!

  • http://twitter.com/lori_deschene Lori Deschene

    Hi Ari! That was actually just my attempt at being funny. I didn't think anyone might actually have a resistance to soap–but you're right. Some people use natural products, and everyone finds different scents appealing. My apologies if that part of this post offended you. ~Lori

  • Jeanette

    Rest at night? What's that?

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  • http://datura80.tumblr.com/ dialateinthedark

    this is so important. thank you! I read it daily.
    xoxo

  • http://datura80.tumblr.com/ dialateinthedark

    this is so important. thank you! I read it daily.
    xoxo

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  • http://cynthiahee.blogspot.com cynthia

    I loved this post! You're totally right about our ability to control only certain parts of our life, but there are so many of those which we CAN control! Thanks for the inspiration. =)

  • http://twitter.com/stitchandchat Pam Grushkin

    A worthwhile read.

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  • carolyn

    I want to thank you for publishing this. I read it during an overseas trip, and it really helped me. I have a fear of flying, and on the way from one location to another, we experience turbulence the entire 2.5 hour flight. I recalled this post and told myself that I can't control the wind, but I can control my breathing and my heart rate. I calmed down and found a good place to be during the flight. Since then, I have used this method to remind myself that I am in control of what I feel, how I act and what I think.

  • http://twitter.com/lori_deschene Lori Deschene

    You are most welcome. I'm so glad this post helped you in a potentially difficult situation. I also have a fear of flying, so I know how that experience can be. Thank you for this comment–what a beautiful reminder to take what we learn off the page!

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  • http://www.asimpleguyblog.blogspot.com D Collins

    Excellent list Lori – Thanks for posting this list of excellent insights – I really enjoyed reading it and will refer to it frequently. Good stuff.
    Dan

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