“When you’re finished changing, you’re finished.” -Benjamin Franklin
A few years back, I reconnected with an old friend from high school. Years after we met, we both struggled with depression and dealt with messy, public recoveries.
He said that seeing me was disheartening because I seemed like an after picture, whereas he felt like he had so much more work to do.
While I recognized that I had come a long way, I knew he formed this conclusion partly because he wasn’t seeing a complete picture. He was seeing confidence and a smile within an isolated moment in time and assuming this was a static final destination.
The truth was (and is) that I am not done changing and I will never be. None of us will. We will never feel like we have arrived and there is nothing left to learn, challenge, or change.
In a world where transformation sells–and sells well–it’s easy to believe that there will be a point in time when everything gets good and stays that way, but happiness is not about arriving. It’s about accepting that the journey is endless, and that it is not only OK but beautiful to have more room to grow.
Today if you’re feeling frustrated about a change you’ve been struggling to make, remind yourself: Happiness is not where you’re headed; it’s being good to yourself on the way there.
Photo by chatzle
About Lori Deschene
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others do the same. She recently created the Breaking Barriers to Self-Care eCourse to help people honor their needs—so they can feel their best, be their best, and live their best possible life. If you’re ready to start thriving instead of merely surviving, you can learn more and get instant access here.
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