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Posts tagged with “goals”

Walk Toward Your Dreams: If Not Now, When?

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“Do not wait until the conditions are perfect to begin. Beginning makes the conditions perfect.” ~Alan Cohen

Last year I was suddenly made redundant along with half of my colleagues, as our company was being taken over. It was swift and severe. It was also a blessing.

I didn’t want to work for the new company whose values conflicted with my own. And I had been wavering on making a decision about my career.

Now I was being forced to decide but I just wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. At least, that’s what I told myself. Fear makes …

A Mindful Way to Find Relief from the Pain of Envy

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“The more you hide your feelings, the more they show. The more you deny your feelings, the more they grow.” ~Unknown

Envy is such an overpowering and overwhelming feeling, often something hidden, or masked by a smiley face, or fuelled into rage and resentment. I’ve experienced all of these emotions in my life, and as I neared my fortieth birthday, I felt that I could not go on. I was crippled by the “envy story” stuck on repeat mode inside my mind.

As I watched friends and family swoop by me in terms of outer achievements and success, the envy …

The Art of Reflection: Feel Your Way to a Happier Life

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“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards.” ~Steve Jobs

One of the best ways I’ve found to develop wisdom is through reflection. While reflection might look like a quiet session of daydreaming, it’s actually an active process during which you enrich your life and encourage personal growth by reviewing parts of your day or your life.

It was January 2001 and I was sitting in New York’s La Guardia airport waiting for my flight to Atlanta. I had moved to New York to attend a graduate program there, and in spite of doing …

Don’t Try to Become the Best, Be Your Best Right Now

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“Do the best you can, from where you are, with what you have, now.” ~African-American proverb

When I first started on my spiritual path, I desperately wanted to live in a more connected and satisfying way. I had a secret longing to know who I truly was and to finally reach my creative potential—not only as a writer, but also as a person. My intention was to express mastery through spirituality.

At the time, this made perfect sense. Spirituality, for me, was connecting to the creative part of myself—that invisible, powerful place where anything is possible.

A …

A Warning and a Gift for Anyone Who Isn’t Pursuing Their Dreams

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“Letting go of the past means that you can enjoy the dream that is happening right now.” ~Don Miguel Ruiz

I grew up on a small cattle farm in the very small farming town of Savannah, Missouri with my grandfather and great grandparents.

My great grandmother used to sit outside on the back porch and string green beans or peel apples when the weather was mild, a worn dish towel over her knee and an ancient paring knife moving with practiced ease. As a very small child I would often sit with her, watching, and sometimes we would talk.

One …

Stop Feeling Powerless and Start Powerfully Creating Your Life

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“You are very powerful, provided you know how powerful you are.” ~Yogi Bhajan

Some might say I was a late bloomer. I only discovered how powerful I really was at twenty-nine.

My childhood and teenage years were horrific; I was severely bullied from when I first walked through the school gates to when I left for the last time. In my early formative years I was laughed at, verbally abused, and completely socially isolated.

I was the equivalent of a lepper. No one wanted to be my friend for fear they would “catch” what I had and be bullied themselves. …

Living for Yourself So You Won’t Die Full of Regrets

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“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.” ~Unknown

A mother was walking down the street with her two little sons. A man stopped to admire them and he asked, “You must be so proud of them! How old are they?” The mother answered, “Who? The doctor or the lawyer?”

A few days ago I heard this joke and, despite its purpose, it just made me feel sad. I was one of those children who, when turned into adults, never explored their passions and never went for their dreams.

I loved writing. I …

Overcoming the Worst Part of Finding Your Passion

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“You gain courage, strength and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt

Finding my passion made me fat.

Not fat in an “I have to wear a Homer Simpson Mumu” kind of way, but in an “I eat cookies and chocolate all the time and I’m not sure what happened to my muscle. Oh, and these pants, they don’t really fit anymore” kind of way.

I always was a stress-eater. Not early in my life, but as soon as I arrived, confused and distracted, into the world of corporate …

That Horrible Job You Hate Might Just Change Your Life

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“What you do today can improve all your tomorrows.” ~Ralph Marston

Before I started my business, I spent three years at an ad agency and a little over a year at an international furnishings retailer. I also waitressed, wrote freelance articles, designed and developed a church website, and worked in an incredibly boring mailroom.

Some of those jobs (let’s be honest, most of those jobs) totally sucked.

In the mailroom, my boss was a sexist jerk with a Napoleon Complex.

In waitressing, I spent too much of my time being other people’s emotional punching bag.

And at the ad agency—the …

7 Simple (and Surprising) Tips to Help You Realize Your Dreams

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“Don’t be pushed by your problems; be led by your dreams.” ~Unknown

It’s tricky sometimes, isn’t it?

Trying to find our place on this planet.

Tapping into our inner desires.

Sometimes we know what we want but not how to get there. Sometimes we know “this isn’t me,” but we have no clue who “me” is. And sometimes we think we’re already there, then something out of the ordinary happens and we realize, this isn’t me at all.

At each stage there are pitfalls than can keep us looking in the wrong direction, stuck in fear, or stressed about …

Why I Don’t Need Success and Validation to Be Happy

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“The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.”~ Sonya Friedman

Five years ago I was driven, determined, and thriving. I was in the middle of a career in financial services that had started in sales, led to management, and, at that point, had me pushing myself and competing as a director in the retail banking business.

I was proud of what I had achieved and what I intended to achieve. I had the trappings of success as I saw them—the house, the car, the salary, and job title that reflected my level of achievement—and I had a huge …

Let Go of “I Can’t…” and Go After What You Want

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“It always seems impossible until it’s done.” ~Nelson Mandela

Do you wish your circumstances in life were different? Have you reconciled yourself to accept that you can’t achieve your goals? Do you think it would be nice to travel, but you don’t think you can afford it?

It’s time to change your mindset and learn how to take control of your own life.

Think Like a Child

Children don’t like to accept “no” for an answer. They question every refusal. “But why not?” they ask.

“Because we can’t afford it” is not an acceptable answer to a child. That has …

4 Things to Do When You’re Struggling with Your Dreams

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“Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” ~Dalai Lama

Three years ago I was in the stressful process of applying to colleges. I had my heart set on this one particular school that, apart from being difficult to get into, was perfect.

I imagined myself wearing the uniform and feeling a sense of accomplishment. I’d finally be able to prove to people that I was clever and worthy of going to this amazing school.

A few weeks later I got a letter from the school. I remember getting excited and grinning like a …

When You’re Anxious to Finish: Being Patient with Your Passions

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“Patience is passion tamed.”~Lyman Abbott

It was 2:13am. My skin stuck to the bed sheets as I realized I was lying awake, listening to my belabored heartbeat. This was the first physical anxiety attack I had ever experienced—one that I hope won’t be repeated. And it happened only two nights ago.

Apparently, the past two years have been more intense than I realized. It’s quite obvious, really, when you see that I’ve failed to write much, for Tiny Buddha or my own blog, in that time.

I wish I could say that I’ve been too busy accomplishing goals, or …

How to Reach Your Goals Faster: A Simple Technique to Try Today

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“Stop being afraid of what could go wrong, and focus on what could go right.” ~Unknown

I used to think that getting to a goal only required tangible action. It was a simple equation:

  • Study hard in high school = getting admission to a good university.
  • Or, diet + exercise = losing weight.

Yet, life is not always that straightforward. It’s not always just about physical action.

Just a few years ago, when I was building my first business, there was something getting in my way, something that had nothing to do with the physical action I took. It was …

How to Be Okay When You Have More Questions Than Answers

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“Sometimes questions are more important than answers.” ~Nancy Willard

I love the color orange. It makes me think of a beautiful ripe papaya, the calming shade of a monk’s robe, and the tapered candles my grandfather held in his hands to pray.

I don’t know if it’s simply this or the prayer chants that rose from temples along the rural Lao countryside, but when I think on these things from my childhood, I feel peace.

Do we romanticize our past? Do we sandpaper out the rough, dark spaces in our memories and label them “the good ‘ole days?” Is …

Searching for Your Next Step: How to Deal When You’re “In Between”

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“A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery while on a detour.” ~Unknown

After finishing my master’s degree, I felt pretty directionless. I felt like I graduated with more questions than answers, and I really didn’t know what career I wanted, or where.

I figured I should take whatever opportunity came my way, so I accepted a low-paying teaching job in a foreign country, which didn’t work out for various reasons, and ended up leaving after only five months.

I came back to the U.S. the day before Christmas, feeling like a total and utter failure. I …

How to Use Comparisons for Growth Instead of Feeling Inferior

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“The heart is like a garden: it can grow compassion or fear, resentment or love. What seeds will you plant there?” ~Jack Kornfield

Comparison is something we all struggle with at one point or another. Although it’s something that conventional self-help wisdom urges us to avoid, it’s also a way of gauging where we fit in the world.

Usually, when we engage in comparison, we do so from an ego-based perspective and find ourselves (or others) lacking. This approach doesn’t benefit anyone involved, but, until recently, this was my predominant experience of comparison.

I also had the belief that healthy …

4 Lessons on Conquering Fear and Living the Life You Want to Live

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“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be?” ~Marianne Williamson

After lying on my apartment floor for an hour, I walked over to the mirror, leaned in, and looked into my eyes.  This was the moment I came face to face with the truth: I was afraid to stand up and be who I wanted to be in this …

Keep Your Eye on the Prize to Find the Courage to Keep Going

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“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt 

I will never forget June 20, 1999.

I experienced many firsts on that day: leaving my family behind, traveling by plane, and being surrounded by people talking a different language.

But that day wasn’t exceptional for those reasons alone; it also put me on a path of independence and self-discovery that has treated me well ever since.

My dream was simple in my teens: to live abroad and speak a foreign language.

I wanted this because of the …