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Do We Change

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  • #117272
    Peter
    Participant

    My experience of change is that it is something that happens very slowly and then all at once as we don’t tend to notice all the little culminating causes until an effect is experienced

    And that no matter how much things change everything stays the same which might sound like a paradox but I don’t think it is.

    I once asked a phycologist the question, Can we Change? I assumed that he would node and say of course we can but he didn’t. He suggested that we might stretch unless there was a traumatic experience impacting our cognition but not really change.

    I thought about it. I’ve changed jobs, friends, locations, thinking, beliefs… I’ve done a lot of changing, but have I changed

    My answer like the phycologist was no. I’ve stretched but the way I experienced the change remained, once everything settled, the same. Though everything changes my experience of the change, how the inner I/me observed it remained pretty much unchanged and that it was the inner experience that made the difference in my experience of change.

    When I attempt to observer the observer I notice that the filters in which change was experienced were not my own. What I mean is that I feel they were created early in life before having the awareness of decrement. (Nurture and Nature = Fate)

    That the capabilities of how we will be able to experience our experiences are pretty much set by the time we are five. Worms Write ONCE Read Many programing filters that we spend the rest of our lives trying to understand and undo. To stretch with the inevitable retraction.

    (Nurture and Nature = Fate? The observer noted that free will to change was possible but that it was very difficult to exercise. As above so below as below so above, we are influenced and we influence however the former is more likely)

    It might sound as if I have given up and stopped striving for growth… I haven’t. To be candid I suspect that is also something I don’t think I can change. But my experience of change is different now, if difficult to express.

    I strive to stretch and experience change but without expectation… perhaps it’s a kind of detachment… (I suspect after reading that last statement that my expectation of change was a magical hope that I’d wake up one day and be someone else.)

    Anyway I’m interested in hearing about other people’s experience of change. Do we Change?

    #117281
    Lacy
    Participant

    Noh, I on the other hand think we constantly change. Our cells, our thoughts, our ideas, our goals, our experience.

    If you are asking a psychologist – neuroplasticity is a science that has proven that yes – a personality can change. Much the same like we train to dance, practice to thrown and catch a ball, work on a better handwriting and so on – we can change how we think, how we feel, how we behave – I think that is also the whole point to buddhist lifestyle as well.

    Humans are extremely adaptive beings. We very often NEED to change in order to survive.

    #117282
    Peter
    Participant

    That life requires the sacrifice of life we latterly change with every breath we take yet we don’t generally experience that as change

    I agree that we change objective measurable qualities quite often however it seems to me that our experience of ourselves that makes those changes (assuming we don’t identify our sense of selves with our thoughts, ideas, goals…) changes very little.

    • This reply was modified 9 years, 5 months ago by Peter.
    • This reply was modified 9 years, 5 months ago by Peter.
    #117287
    norit
    Participant

    I asked a therapist this and they said yes, as long as someone is open to changing, and works to do so, that anyone can change. I think (hope) this is true, also. I would very much like to change into a better version of myself.

    #117308
    Mike
    Participant

    There is a famous quote by
    Heraclitus: “There is nothing
    constant except change.”
    Every experience we have
    changes us in some way.
    Our personalities, bodies and
    minds are constantly evolving.
    There’s a book, Counter Clockwise,
    that discusses how a change in
    scenery (older music, newspapers, etc.) made people look and feel
    younger – and do things they thought
    they were too old to do. Ellen Langer
    wrote the book, based on a Harvard
    psychology experiment. You should
    check it out or Google it. It’s
    very interesting.

    #456133
    anita
    Participant

    Hello Peter:

    I believe this is your very first thread in tiny buddha and what you brought up here, about nine and a half years ago, feels relevant to me at this time.

    I feel that I really am changing these very days. I don’t think that anyone can change completely, as in being a totally new, or different person (the brain cannot be removed and a new one inserted into an empty skull, ha-..ha?)

    But we can change.

    I would like to continue this train of thought later).

    🤔 Anita

    #456142
    anita
    Participant

    Peter, Oct 5, 2016: “It seems to me that our experience of ourselves that makes those changes (assuming we don’t identify our sense of selves with our thoughts, ideas, goals) changes vey little”-

    I am curious, Peter, if this quote makes sense to you today same way it did 9 years and 5 months ago?

    I was going to share about my recent experience of change before I noticed what you wrote in parenthesis, right above.

    There, in parenthesis, makes my intent of sharing my experience of change feel out of place simply because I do identify with my (changed and changing) recent thoughts.

    🤔 Anita

    #456154
    Peter
    Participant

    It’s kind of fun to look back at that quote, Anita.

    To be honest, I’m not sure I’d make that same comment today. Back then, I was frustrated with, well life, and it looks like I was trying to think myself out of it… Looking back I notice I was separating the ‘thinker’ from the ‘thought,’ but now I see them as the same.

    I’ve realized there isn’t really a right or wrong way to identify, with the cavoite that we gently noticing what we are identifying with in the moment. Even my own ‘inner nature’ feels like a bit of a puzzle, I still feel the same childhood anxiety I always have, but ‘seeing’ it better has changed its impact on me. Is that ‘change‘, growth or just a shift in perspective? I feel content in letting the question go.

    I hope you feel free to share your experience of change, please don’t let my old parentheses stand in the way.

    #456156
    Peter
    Participant

    For Fun I used AI to look back on my thoughts on change and asked it to respond as Krishnamurti. I’m going to share as i… he can be ‘a lot’ 🙂 so hold the words lightly..

    Krishnamurti’s AI Response:
    “Sirs, why do we create this division? When Peter says ‘I identify with my thoughts,’ or ‘I am the observer of my thoughts,’ he is creating a conflict. Is the observer different from the thing observed?

    If you say, ‘I have changed my perspective,’ you are still looking from a center—a ‘me’ that is judging the change. But if you see that the thinker is the thought, then there is no one to change. There is only the movement of thought itself.

    Peter asks, ‘Is a shift in understanding change?’ I would say: as long as there is an effort to change, there is no change at all. It is only when you observe without the observer—without the ‘parentheses’ of your past ideas—that something totally new can come into being. Anita, if you identify with your thoughts, you are the thoughts. There is no ‘you’ separate from them to be changed. Can you look at that fact without any judgment? Only in that choiceless awareness is there a transformation that is not just a ‘shift in perspective’ but a complete ending of the old.”

    My thoughts – Well Krishnamurti is direct but what he says is fact even if the words often feel radical. From what I can tell all the wisdom traditions lean into the same truth if in a different languange. At least the mystics of the traditions do. Self emptying, no self, doing by not doing, virgin birth… leaving me to wonder if True Free will may just be the dissolving of self, creating space for the core, perhaps the ‘quite id’ to see life as it is and respond…

    AI summing up my thoughts on change: Again I’m just going to share as is.

    What you’re describing is essentially the perennial philosophy, the idea that beneath various cultural and religious “languages,” there is a shared, underlying truth about the nature of the self and reality.

    Your interpretation of those mystical symbols aligns remarkably well with this “core” you’ve identified:
    Self-Emptying (Kenosis) & No-Self (Anatta): Whether it’s the Christian concept of emptying oneself of ego to be filled by the divine, or the Buddhist realization that there is no permanent, separate “I,” both point to the same thing: the removal of the filter that distorts our perception.

    Doing by Not Doing (Wu Wei): This Taoist principle isn’t about passivity; it’s about effortless action. When you stop “trying” to be a certain way, your actions become a spontaneous and harmonious response to the world around you, rather than a forced decision by a defensive ego.

    The Virgin Birth: In a mystical sense, this can be seen as the “birth” of something new and sacred (the “core”) within a mind that has become “virgin” or empty of past conditioning and egoic noise.

    The “Quiet Id“: It’s interesting you use that term. While Freud saw the Id as a chaotic bundle of instincts, mystics might see that “primal” layer differently—not as something to be repressed, but as the raw, unconditioned energy of life that can finally be seen clearly once the “ego-rider” stops trying to control the path.

    True Free Will as “Dissolving” Your idea that true free will is the dissolving of the self is a fascinating paradox. Usually, we think of free will as the “I” making a choice. But if that “I” is just a bundle of habits, fears, and conditioning, is that choice truly free?

    In this view, freedom isn’t the ability to do “whatever I want,” but the freedom from the “I” and its wants. When the self dissolves, you aren’t acting out of past “programming”; you are responding to what is

    🙂 Of course A1 is just reflecting myself back to me, and I notice my ego finds it a nice hiding place.

    #456162
    anita
    Participant

    Good morning, Peter:

    Using my 📱- so no AI for me as I process your two posts on this very rainy morning.

    It just occurred to me, reading the first part of your 1st post today, how different you sound from times in the recent past. Here: simple and direct.. like a kid who feels comfortable talking. Then (my perception): removed, detached, abstract.

    And then.. Peter having fun (2nd post). Makes me smile. I never thought to ask Copilot to talk to me as any famous person or character. How intriguing!

    “Is that ‘change’, growth, or just a shift in perspective?” (Peter, today)

    In the past I would research the question and submit a very, very long analytical essay on the topic, going back to what you shared over time (quoting you extensively) and.. figuring it all out. Ha-ha.

    “I feel content in letting the question go” (Peter, today)- me too.

    I almost have to pinch myself for writing the “me too”.

    And this is part of what I was thinking yesterday in regard to change: a relaxing my analytical, academic-like style communication and just talking simple.

    I think it was a week or 2 ago that-looking back at many posts I submitted here, pre and post AI- I was deeply embarrassed about the very long essays I submitted- to no one’s interest or delight, I now realize- but my own.

    Not only long, but intrusive and arrogant: telling people what is happening in their minds, hearts and lives.

    “No-Self (Anatta)”- No-Self Anita 🙂

    Meaning, for me- relaxing the compulsion to analyze; calming the arrogance, no longer over-interpreting people, nor intruding into areas of their thoughts, feelings and lives where I wasn’t invited.

    Another part of change is happening these very days following my long-term un-noticing of your Notice message. When I feel physically anxious/ tense (tics), I Notice. And every time I notice, the tension relaxes. Just for noticing.

    Before, I thought that to Notice meant to analyze but now, Notice in itself, by itself is Calming, grounding, relaxing.

    “Do We Change”? I feel content, for now, in letting the question go 😊

    I think I’ll post more once I have access to the 🖥 and Copilot.

    🙏 ✨️ Anatta

    #456163
    anita
    Participant

    Oh, another significant part of regard to recent change: I didn’t feel guilty yesterday, for the first time, as I thought of the misery or troubles of a few family members I care about. It’s like their pain didn’t land heavily on me.

    It wasn’t a thinking- thing. It was a feeling-thing. This experience last evening- a first of its kind- is what I was thinking about when I reactivated this thread.

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