Hi, thanks for remembering! We didn’t but we are moving in 5 weeks I’m so excited!

I have spoken to my boss about how I’m feeling and she was very nice and understanding about it all and I have decided to return to my original role In January so she will be our store manager. I want to try to see this through til then though as I feel it’s silly to quit as its only 3 months and I did enjoy my job before this – although with her as my new manager I might feel differently now, she’s very intense and strict.

I had my official audit yesterday that unfortunately you can’t stop and did fail but not as badly as I thought so I’m happy with that. Now I’m worried that my boss is going to be on my case all the time, coming in all the time, picking up on everything when I would be happier left alone.

That’s the part I can’t handle is being under constant scrutiny and criticism, no matter how well you’re doing there will be something wrong, and I am constantly on edge that someone will come in and criticise everything when I am trying my best.
The facts are that I am a totally new manager, no training, looking after the busiest shop in the area, with 20+ staff and a lot of the other managers have never had that much, however if I was to explain this to someone they wouldn’t let me off any or be understanding, that’s how I feel anyway.

Before I was fairly relaxed about everything and just got on with it but I wake up every morning with cramps in the pit of my stomach from anxiety and nerves, despite having a good day yesterday. I really don’t want to quit or be signed off sick as I want to be there for my team but I have been feeling very close to walking out or having a burnout and just want to make it through!!

I also find it difficult talking about my feelings, especially face to face so I would find it so so hard to say to my boss ‘I am this close to walking out’

The other thing is that it would be so hard for me to say I am stepping down because there is no else to do it until the end of January and it has a knock on effect for me because it’s in the store I work in. If it was a secondment to a different shop, place, department it’s easier because the vacancy you leave isn’t your problem or doesn’t affect you. But here it does so I don’t have a choice but to do it.

I’ve also started worrying about what will happen when the new manager starts. My old one was amazing, that’s why I enjoyed my job, but I feel like it’s going to be 24/7 intense scrutiny all the time and it’s making me feel like I should start looking for a new job

Thank you Mishika, I’m trying not to get ahead of myself and overthink things too much, just let it happen and what will be will be. It’s not so easy though, and I have no idea what else I would do otherwise.

I’ve been with this job on and off for ten years and as much as I don’t like it I am attached and to the staff especially…. I would feel awful for leaving them

Thanks so much for your help!

Since the audit its been fine at work, usual day to day stuff although my boss is coming in tomorrow to help with some stuff so im starting to get nervous about that.
I still have 2 months to go but have pretty much decided that management isnt for me. I am not a leader or a ‘boss’, its not in my nature. Plus the extra stress, effort, working on my days off is not for me. I’d be happy stacking shelves in a supermarket if it paid enough and allowed me not to think about it at home!

Im going to allow my new manager time to settle in and see how it goes but im starting to think i might start looking for something else late spring/early summer. Management isnt for me and at this point i can do my job standing on my head!

Last time i changed jobs i did it out of a reactive response; to move away from my job to do anything else rather than towards something i want. But i want something different to learn, a better work life balance. Im going to look with this in mind, research the job and companies more, and maybe try and do stuff like volunteering, evening classes to try some stuff out first. Last time, i ‘left’ it was only for 12 months and i ended up right back where i started. I dont want to do that again

ANXIETY!!!!!!

So i have 3 weeks in my secondment left, 6 days of which i am on holiday (yay!) But we are expecting the next audit any day now. Also, as of the end of january there will be a month between where my contract ends and the next manager is able to start so they’re saying they will get a temp in for February. As long as it isnt me i’m happy!

However i am starting to feel anxiety again about the whole thing, i personally dont care about failing the audit but i dont want to let the new manager down or get a bollocking for it again. I just have this horrible anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach, im not sure what it is but im feeling the pressure mounting again, it ridiculous how they pile it on… it would be so nice to go back to a position where my responsibilities are basic, ignorance is bliss as they say!

Im hoping that after a while things will settle down but im starting to feel like ive got all i can out of the job/company and as i dont want to progress any higher theres not alot keeping me there, only a steady paycheck, being good at my job and the people i work with. Im also not ready for the stress of a job hunt and interviewing just yet though

Ps. House move went very well, all in and set up now with a little push from my boyfriend, no homesickness yet!