Hi David…I hope that when you read this you are well on the way to embracing amazing things that will take you down a road that surely leads to a life of happiness. When you said, “The only thing I need working on is the feeling of resentment, anger and need for revenge for the person whose spiteful actions has put me in this present position.” I respectfully disagree because of the operative words, “the only thing.” Am I correct in my belief that your “boozing spree for several days” are not a sudden knee jerk reaction or rare moment? I ask this because I get a sense that alcohol occupies a great deal of your life. Alcohol is the judge, jury, and executioner and plays havoc not only on you but your family and relationships  as well. When you said, “This isn’t the first time something like this has happened as I count myself very vulnerable to anxiety and low mood (won’t say depression)” I must again with all due respect to you my friend, challenge this by saying that there are many expressions of depression, with your desire to contemplate suicide being one. With you saying that “This isn’t the first time something like this has happened as I count myself very vulnerable to anxiety and low mood (won’t say depression) and I ended up in hospital for 10 days last year after a similar booze induced breakdown.” being another. When people resort to alcohol as a means to avoid their responsibilities to themselves to manage issues of negative effects, they in essence are only masking the problem rather than confront them and make the necessary healthy changes. Whether it be a chemical imbalance in your brain of the effects of an adverse upbringing, or a combination of both, your depression is something of a priority that needs to be dealt with and I think that by being an active participant in making what I call a correction in direction, you can be a key architect in making the changes you need to and become the beneficiary of a beautiful life. I got your 6 my friend.

Pearce

Dear David:

You wrote that you need working on “the feeling of resentment, anger and need for revenge for the person whose spiteful actions has put me in this present position”- the person you believe brought about the premature ending of your work contract.

There is this unfortunate situation: people hurt people, often from the very beginning of a person’s life: parents hurting their children. In school, children make fun of and bully other children. Dismissive and disrespectful treatments happen repeatedly through life, in the contexts of the family, work place, road/ driving, online communication, and so on.

Sometimes we believe a certain person is deliberately disrespecting us when in reality they are not paying attention, for example, a person daydreaming and not noticing you are there, and therefore not saying hello (the case not being the person noticing and not bothering to say hello).

As often as possible, it is a good idea to assert oneself with people who disrespect you or harm you, to let them know you noticed their disrespect and that you disapprove of their behavior. And then, adjust your interactions with that person, not interacting at all, if the person does not sincerely apologizes.

At times it is not practical to assert yourself with the person who disrespected you, maybe this is your case. Maybe you are not sure- and would need evidence, which you don’t have- that this person harmed you. In that case, if there is nothing for you to do, try to come to peace with what happened, for no other reason but the fact that you cannot change what happened.

There is a part of the serenity prayer that I like: “grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Unfortunately, what happened at the work place, you cannot change.

anita

Hi David,

I too am on Remeron (Mirtazapine), but sometimes, when we have a chemical imbalance, we may need an additional medication to help. I myself am on a cocktail of medications. I suffer from Panic attacks, severe anxiety, so I am on meds for that. I have difficulty due to personality disorder managing my emotions, so I am on Topamax. I had severe trauma, so I am on Busphar to help me manage that. However, medication alone while a Godsend, is not a cure-all, I believe therapy, and medication are the best at alleviating negative thoughts, procrastination, self esteem, hostility, resentment, anger. When I got on these medications for the above issues, the medications, made me want to get out of bed every morning to get the therapy I needed.

I then read the book “What Color is your Parachute” a book that will help you find a job that you will be hopeful and excited about. It will ask questions, and give you career choices based on your responses. I am also in 2 12step programs which have been very helpful. I also have a job and life coach. I hope you feel better soon. The best way to feel better, is to write down things you like to do, and what you like about yourself, and things you are grateful for. Keep us posted.