Dear Rai:

Is the cheating man the same man with whom you had a three year relationship, who cheated on you multiple times while in the relationship, then pursued you to resume the relationship, then cheated on you while pursuing you (previous thread)?

If so, yes, I would let his new girlfriend know. I suggested letting her know six months ago- the sooner the better because she should know before having a child with him! You can prevent a new person to come into the world to parents who are likely to repeatedly fight because of his cheating.

Your intention in letting her know is not relevant, you may be motivated by anger, but it doesn’t matter because what does matter is to give this woman an opportunity to end a relationship before having a child or children with a man whose cheating is not a one time event, but a pattern of behavior.

(I looked at your previous thread and there is a person who posted there last asking for help, no one responded, I will bring back that thread so to answer this member now).

anita

If I were you, I would just go ahead and tell her and present her with proof to back it up. It’s likely she won’t believe you unless you show her proof of it, if she trusts her man. Speaking from experience, I once had a boyfriend that cheated on me with about 8 different girls that I know of, and I didn’t even believe my close friends at first when they told me, but I finally believed it when I got him to admit it. So proof helps a lot in that case.

At any rate…. I think most people would want to know if their significant other were cheating on them, because, not only is it a betrayal, but if he’s sleeping with other women and not using protection with them or her, it invites STDs. So telling her would ultimately be doing her a HUGE favor, even though it will most definitely make her upset… but her being upset is ultimately the result of HIS actions, not the result of you telling her about his actions. Know what I mean?

Dear Rai:

Would you like to respond to what I suggested in my last post to you, March 14?

anita

Dear Rai:

As a person who is “an empath and feel things quite deeply”-

-do you think that it will be a good deed on your part to give this woman an opportunity to end this relationship and as a result prevent her future children from suffering in the context of a troubled marriage between their parents (because of the likely fights to occur as a result of his cheating, and the worsening anxiety and panic attacks of their mother, also a result of his cheating)?

anita