Yep been hiding in my house to avoid further emo pain. I have been hiding out because I have a long history of painful experiences beginning in childhood and never really seemed to end. It is a long and very twisted painful existence. I vowed that when I grew up my life would be different…even though I had no idea what normal was. I was sexually abused by My uncle from the ages of 9 to 11 yrs old.

My basic background is that I was born to teenage parents who physically, emotionally, physically abused, they neglected myself and my sibling. Basic needs of food and clothing were not met.I was thrown out at 15 yrs by my alcoholic mother. I lived with a pedophile boyfriend because I had no other option. I suffered physical abuse after I became pregnant with his child. I finally left him. Went on a drinking bender but got myself together in short order. Met a man who I thought was normal… Found out later he wasn’t especially after we had 2 planned children and he left when they were both infants. I was able to get myself together enough to actually raise them without abusing or neglecting them. It was really hard being a single mom without an education. When they were school.  I put myself through school and became a nurse. I was finally mAking headway when I got injured at work and later diagnosed with CFIDS, Fibromyalgia, MTHFR gene mutation and other physical ailments. I have injuries that were caused from the extreme physical abuse I endured from my father (ie. My right shoulder can dislocate spontaneously because the ligaments were damaged when my father grabbed me by my wrist a hung me while he beat me with a belt.)

I have suffered from depression and suicidal ideation for most of my life. I have PTSD, suppressed memories etc.

I later put myself through nursing school when my children became school age. However I was finally mAking headway when I suffered an