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Homie!! @Kkasxo
I felt an instant vibe too! I don’t have a sis so I’ll be your bro! Even let you correct me if I’m tripping! ahaha
Feeling the love – it’s got me in my feels and tearful, other than B no ones ever said they are proud of me! Who knew those words could resonate so deeply. For so long I felt like I had been a disappointment, the shame and disgust in varying forms from not being chosen to then how I reacted and hurt B – the one person who really got me. I never thought I’d do a 180 and be where I am.
I decided to stay with B’s family in their coach house over christmas, i don’t know if it’s nerves but I don’t think her old man is a fan and I’m reluctant to approach him for her hand! I’m also a bit concerned now with Tier 4 being threatened outside London too and feeling an inconvenience if I become stuck here.
Sorry to hear about your nan that really sucks on top of your family being out of the country must be so tough. I hope you are able to power through the festive period and be reunited soon. You’re stronger than you think to be dealing with this! On top to let Mr A. have a reprieve, you’re some woman!
You’re right you deserve so much more and you’ve come to find love on its own is never enough our internal needs always find a way to make themselves be heard. You owe it to yourself to have a fulfilling relationship and if Mr A is disturbing your peace of mind then that’s a clear sign something was amiss. Love is a verb. You have to keep working at it but is only fulfilling if both people feel the same, work the same amount and there are men out there who would show up and prove how much value you hold.
You are allowing him to live a little longer with you but don’t let him live rent free in your head!! There was no closure for me with ‘A’ . It’s terrible when it is over and you still love someone. So I would highly recommend that you both discuss it maturely before the years up and then let go so you can focus on healing and yourself.
The worse thing to do is let him leave but feel nothing has changed within you but everything has changed outside of you. It’s like stumbling in the dark, blinding and numbing. So get closure and really let go to be able to move forward.
I honestly think although it is a sh*t storm right now, you don’t realise how far you’ve come, you’re so smart and wise to not entertain further situationship’s and you’ll come out winning by doing some self loving. Don’t lose your hopeless romantic side the right guy deserves to experience all of you and he’ll love you for it.
You are amazing to even make such a hard decision when you still love him, progress!!! Your self worth can only become greater! So I’m proud of you too homie! You will find this is the step towards a healthier and happier you.
@Sammy, me and @Shelbyville (when she returns) have your back! If you need anything over the festive period @ me !
Merry Christmas 🎅