You have a very analytical mind @NBC, I completely get that because I’m the same.

From personal experience, I think you need some tough love.

Danny has given you some very good advice but you like to dissect each part to understand the why’s? This will just lead to more and more questions and a spiral. I was the same until I decided to confront my ex and it gave me the peace I needed. So snap yourself out of it or you’ll find yourself wasting yet more of your precious time.

Sometimes analysis is good to prevent mistakes or grow. However there comes a point where you have to stop, where you have to accept you’ll never know why certain things happened. Essentially all you solidly know are your own intentions. It would be amazing if everyone in life could give us honest feedback and accountability for their actions unfortunately very very few people are honest, genuine and transparent enough to do that.

That guy in between who took you on a magical date knowing you were leaving, may have had several reasons but that doesn’t matter, the main thing is you enjoyed it, it prodded you to experience relationships again. You didn’t harm him, that’s your take away from that.

You have not gained acceptance for the chapter with B. If pride is not an issue, you believe it had more legs then the only thing like Danny suggested is to confront him.

With every man if they really want you they will not pass the opportunity again when they know it’s now or never.

You could wind up wasting your time on someone who doesn’t even think about you.

Or you could end up marrying this man, who knows? The thing is unless you actively take the steps forward you will never know.

The worst case scenario will be be like you said an illusion brought to naught but the silver lining is you can actually really begin the process of moving on and then really opening up your mind and heart to someone new because if you just keep entertaining hope with B, you’ll never find space for someone new. You’ll compare and ruin all your future relationships.

Get yourself out of this cycle , as soon as you can. Once these musings become a habit, you will cry and fall and resolve , yet go back to it the next second. It’s all in you mind.

Betting on potential wasted many precious years of my life,yes in the end the very thing I desperately wanted over the years happened, he wanted to fight for me. But by then I had grown resentment for him. It wasn’t healthy and too much water under the bridge to even start afresh.

@Dannydan ‘s relationship and @Tim1 ‘s only worked out because they hadn’t got too deep. So the mistakes made although unfair on their partners were forgivable and fixable, thus allowed space to create a healthy new relationship.

@Kkasxo and mine were over years and in the end taught us what love wasn’t.

@Shelbyville finally saw that her ex was also toxic, the on/off nature meant they couldn’t sustain a healthy relationship even if she loved her ex.

You don’t seem to have been so enmeshed with B, so there’s that small chance, also you obviously can’t reach closure on your own so it’s time to just confront this finally.

Yes. I’m scared of being intimate again. Scared of if the physical connection I experienced with my ex will ever be experienced again but Danny is right i just need to take it slow and not compare.

@Dannydan thanks for your sage advice, I’m doing ok. Swamped with work and finding a new place but happy to be moving my life forward. Your advice is helpful and appreciated don’t ever feel like it’s going unheard!

It’s was curious because @Shelbyville always wanted that physical connection again, so wondering how she dealt with it and found it again with her new partner.

I’ve never been one for ONS and do want a longterm relationship.
That’s why I will not enter anything without being sure, I respect him too much to lead him on.

I always have needed an emotional connection to even want to kiss a man. I like @NBC find kissing very intimate and could only do it with someone I was attracted to and wanted more with.

I do feel like I want to touch my besties bro, hold his hand etc but at same time I am petrified as I know once it feels real I’ll get carried away and what if he decides he doesn’t feel the same anymore and not wanting something longterm? Guess it’s old rejection fears

I have always liked him and it’s funny how he’s always been there, we have always had great banter and chemistry but it wasn’t until recently I started to see him in a romantic light and feel desire for him.

I can imagine undressing him when I’m around him now and it’s weirdly exhilarating when we flirt and petrifying.

Who thought almost a year on I’d find the courage to begin a new. I’m so glad of the work I’ve done on myself before considering someone new. I know I will not hurt him because I haven’t rushed it to fill a void.

I’m so happy and excited for you Danny. Very proud of you too!! You’ve grown and come a long way. I hope your union keeps going from strength to strength!
I do look forward to reading how you feel once the union is cemented in more than one way 😉