Sure @Jay2023 we’re here, may get busy with my house move but will do my best to reply.

That’s okay if it’s faded,no emotion stays at 100 that’s the same for sadness. It will not stay forever. Life will keep you moving one way or another. On days when you feel less confident or hopeful of change just try and survive that wave.

I’m really sorry I can’t help with how to deal with the effects of medication, I have no experience. I know @Tim1 and @Shelbyville took something for their anxiety/depression. I recall Shelby saying it takes the edge off enough to cope but you still feel all the emotions. You don’t go numb. Can you mix alcohol and these types of medications? Be careful last thing you need on top is a trip to A&E for interaction or overdose!

A thing that my bestie taught me was when that train of thought comes, each time it enters your mind. Say WHOOSH aloud. Adding onomatopoeia stops it in its track. Sounds stupid but do it long enough with some form of action, it distracts you immediately. Then give yourself the hard truths.

Relationships built on one individual desperately trying to craft themselves into a person they think the other would love are not good, or healthy, or sustainable. Relationships are about truth, about loving and respecting each other for who and where you are right now.

Where are you right now? Alone so you need to love yourself.

Whereas if you just constantly focus on what is she doing, is she thinking of me like I’m thinking of her, your thoughts will spiral. Most often or not you will not even cross her mind! So don’t destroy yourself with rumination.
It’s the smaller steps that add to the bigger progress. Don’t forget to be kind to yourself.

You’re doing great. Even if your weekend is empty in the sense you have no where to go. Tim once said having some form of niche hobby to look forward to at times of stress can help a lot. He enjoyed Lego.  Is there anything you enjoy doing? Any hobby that can involve some form of creative and manual work that will allow you to focus on the task at hand. Some people enjoy woodwork. Some people enjoy working on an old car. Is there a project you can embark on during your process of healing that can be the physical culmination of your work?

Also it’s very important as you heal and grow that you surround yourself with positive, encouraging people. If you feel like some of your crowd or friends are not supportive and just expect you to carry on then that’s the last thing you need. You need good people at times like this. So be wary of the influences of your inner circle. Be wary of those who may have encouraged to stay in a toxic situation too!  When I had my break up initially I pushed away the people who were good for my soul, who were honest and wanted the best for me. Instead I sought out those who were just saying what I wanted to hear who in the end delayed my healing.

The process of becoming a better adjusted person is developing the emotional tools and intelligence to know whats good for your soul. Once you start feeding the soul good, you will in turn feel much better!