Hi @Dannydan

Sorry, been busy with work plus bf birthday week so trying to get the house cosy. You know I keep it 💯, first of all how can you say she doesn’t know how hurt you were???? I’m going to stop you in your tracks there because that hurt you felt you took it out on her remember? To quote @Shelbyville and @Kkasxo “hurt people hurt people”

It seems anxiety has reared its ugly head for you and the only person who has control, is you. You can allow the past to haunt you or to be the making of you.

If you don’t wish to reconnect then that’s absolutely fine, it is your choice, it doesn’t make you insecure or wrong. It means you are unsure of something and there’s nothing wrong with questioning the gravity of any situation within the confines of healthy boundaries BUT be mature enough to verbalise that to your ex bestie and ex and your fiancé in a mature manner. Discuss honestly and set boundaries and genuine people will respect them. Don’t take it out on ‘B’ and accuse her of being controlling 🤦🏼‍♀️

I would be peeved with that remark too!

‘B’ seems very balanced emotionally and she probably sees you miss him, she’s probably considering how you’ve described her nature; a peacemaker, healer and has the capacity to do things like that. Forgive AND forget. He was your bestie she probably recognises that’s worth more than what occured so was trying to put that across to you rather than dictate your choices. To add she is happy for you to talk to the ex because she trusts you. Equally if she was unhappy with you talking to the ex and relayed that to you, you’re a team you’d discuss that patiently and do what’s best for BOTH of you not get accusatory.

It’s also very NORMAL to argue, she’s a human with her own set of emotions and life is never going to be rainbows and butterflies and rosy! So get used to this and dealing with confrontation, there will be plenty of fights ahead. You can’t start questioning your relationship, don’t let anxiety escalate it to something it isn’t.

Just by communicating you can nip things in the bud. It’s just a disagreement, remember your relationship is more important than the fight. Communicate when she has had her space, knowing her she will reach out herself. Don’t push her and when she does reach out for the love of GOD please don’t be STUBBORN!!!!!

She didn’t stonewall you or give you the silent treatment or accuse you of anything, she did the healthy thing asking for space but still send a text to reassure you she’s there. You have a very strong beautiful woman there don’t ruin it!

Maybe ask her how she feels too, maybe her agitation isn’t just a result of your words but a combination of factors. Usually women when stressed just carry on, usually it can be the smallest thing that then breaks the camels back.

Anyway Danny, I’m thinking of taking a hiatus from here unless you need me?

@Jay2023

Hope the silence means you’re doing okay now, did the weekend help thrust you into a more positive state?