Hi Helcat. Thanks for all the well thought out messages. Believe it or not, I’m reading each and everyone of them with deep consideration.

“The thing is that you are young and still growing, it is hard to continue to grow if you don’t eat enough food. There is also a minimum amount of calories that should be eaten in a day and going under that is just as unhealthy as morbid obesity. People are not just worried about an eating disorder, they are also worried about your health. Eating disorders can kill. Once you get to your goal weight if the behaviour doesn’t stop and you continue this pattern you will quite literally potentially die in a few years. Once fat stores are used, the next thing that your body does is start eating your muscle. Your heart is made of muscle, now you see why eating disorders can be so dangerous?”

I didn’t think of it like that. I just don’t want people to treat me like I’m wrong for wanting to lose weight when I was fatter and they did say anything.

“Your original plan of eating once a day was working, your current plan of eating once every other day is not working. Why do you want to continue a course of action that isn’t getting you closer to your goal weight?”

It’s taking a bit but Alternate Day Fasting has been working. It was one meal a day I hit a stagnation because I think my body was used to it. It’s really frustrating that I’m not losing weight as quickly as I used to, but I just have to be patient.

“Why are you critical of yourself at your current weight? It seems like despite feeling better about your current weight, your mind hasn’t quite absorbed that you are no longer your old weight.”

It’s always scary but a lot of people have rebounds and relapsing in their weight. I’ve worked very hard, and I really don’t want it to be for nothing.

“Eating junk food tends to make me gain weight more than anything else. Portion sizing also helps. Many people simply eat too large a meal portion. Some people find getting a smaller bowl or plate helpful for gauging portion sizing.”

I heavily agree with you. I was snaking way too much.

I really need to start exercising like you mentioned. It would give me a bit more leniency on the amount of calories I consume. I’d also build muscle faster as well, and perhaps my family wouldn’t be so worried.

“Congratulations for losing 79 pounds and moving from a BMI of 37.4 to a BMI of 23.9!

A healthy BMI is between 17.5 and 25.7 (very well health. com/ body health index), and you are within a healthy BMI range, very well done, Lulu.”

Thank you! I worked very hard to get this far and I’m still working on it. Some days are easier than others, but I haven’t quit yet.

“here is what I think may have been happening: in the process of losing weight, you experienced the euphoric feelings involved in successfully losing weight: the joy of seeing a smaller and smaller number on the scale, the joy of seeing yourself in the mirror more and more to your satisfaction, the joy of wearing smaller and smaller-size clothes, the joy of receiving compliments from people, the joy of success: joys that you didn’t experience before. Joys you want more and more of..?”

It’s a mix of all of them. I’ve been overweight for an incredibly long time Anita, throughout middle and high-school. And while I wasn’t exactly bullied, it was clear that people were uncomfortable with my size since I was one of the few black girls there, let alone a fat black girl. On top of doing it for health and fear of developing issues, I wanted to feel better about being in my own skin. I wanted to as least feel the same as everyone else who’s a smaller size.

“When a person continues efforts to lose weight at normal or below normal weight, that’s an eating disorder.”

I’m less worried about this because I do in fact have a goal weight and intentions to maintain that weight once I reach it. I don’t feel like it’s just aimless weight loss, I’ve set that goal when I was around 180 and now 40 pounds later, it hasn’t changed. Not saying I’m not concerned, but I do have a game plan.

“I am guessing that she didn’t say this when you were overweight, but she is saying it now that you are within a healthy BMI. Am I correct?”

The thing is that she hounded me when I overeat as well. I truly don’t feel as though I’m underrating. I don’t exactly count calories, but the days where I do eat, I eat until I’m nice and stuffed, go the gym the following day, and it keeps me satisfied. The only time I feel hungry is when I’m fasting, any other time, I make my meals from home rather than eating out, have watery sugar drinks, or low calorie sweets if I have a sweet tooth. I typically lose five pounds every two weeks now that I’m around a healthy weight whereas before, it was around ten pounds every two/three weeks. I know the weight loss is slowing down because I’m smaller and burn less calories, but I switched from OMAD to AF because I felt like I didn’t have enough time between meals.

“Best if you can see a medical doctor or a nurse practitioner so to get checked (blood work and such), review your fasting practice with the professional, and make recommended adjustments to it.”

I had a physical examination on the 25th of July for college, and the doctor said that all of my levels are normal whereas before, my blood sugar and cholesterol were abnormally high. Back when I was 209, the doctors said that I should start looking to lose weight for my health. I’m genetically likely to have diabetes since the women on my dad side usually do and because I was only one from my mom’s side who’s obese, it felt like it was just a matter of time.

”

A healthy BMI for you is between 17.5 and 25.7. Your BMI is 23.9, the higher end of healthy. You can lose more if you’d like, so to arrive at your goal weight. I would moderate my efforts, in your place, moderate and adjust the fasting routine to a slower rate of weight loss.

As far as exercise, I much prefer fast walking to running because it’s easier on the knees/ joints, and it has the same health benefits as running, as far as I know (you can research that, if you’d like).”

I did research and 125 at 5’4 would put me at a BMI of 22, which is right in the middle and I think works best for me. I don’t want to go under it because I know how my body is and my brain would have issues with being underweight as people tend to.

As far as exercise, I enjoy treadmill running on maximum incline at a speed of 3 for an hour. It makes me thighs sore, but I do enjoy it. I also like bike training, and weight lifting occasionally, but usually, the elliptical with maximum resistance or incline with maximum incline is good enough for me. I’ll definitely start incorporating some walks in there since I’m definitely a walking person.

The thing is, my mom has always pushed me to make healthy decisions. She warned me before I became overweight about the importance of eating healthy, and it felt like it went one ear and out the other. And as a result, there was the obesity. The issue wasn’t even necessarily that I just overeat, it was like I didn’t exercise at all. I eat, would drown myself in homework and reading because I didn’t feel good about myself. I’m sure I’ve said this, but I have major depressive disorder/generalized anxiety disorder and it worse during this times especially.

Now that I’m older and my mental illnesses have sort of calmed, I’m able to lose weight more essentially.

My mom wants me to eat in small meals while exercising, but my brain automatically wants to binge. My mom doesn’t want me to “starve myself for two days and then pig out on one day.”

Fasting helps me curb the binge while also just being easier for me to do mentally. Calorie counter every single day doesn’t work for me, hasn’t in the past and I doubt it will now.

I understand where my mom is coming from. I know she wants the best for me. I don’t doubt her love for me. But I also know that the way I’m going about losing weight is what I prefer and it feels like no matter how I do things, there’s always a problem. I just wanna get to a healthier weight and feel good physically and mentally. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.