During 10th grade, things and life continued to be difficult to manage and cope with..so during one school day after dismissal..I didn’t go home. I needed some time to myself, so I stayed out all night riding public transportation and roaming the streets. I even tried to find my way back to the house in which my brothers and mother last resided…but I’m directionally challenged. I tried to find home, but I’m always lost.

I decided to return around 1am…and foster mom didn’t say anything.. except to tell me to go to bed and that I was on punishment. It was the day before Thanksgiving..so the next day I was forced to attend her family’s Thanksgiving event.

Word had spread.

Everyone there either stared at me, a few didn’t ask questions, they bombarded me with accusations of being out with boys, even though I told them I was alone, I wasn’t believed. My foster mom and her family forced me to get a doctor’s appointment to check for pregnancy, and sexually transmitted diseases and infections. I felt humiliated and embarrassed. No one even asked me why I disappeared.. no one ever inquires about me, they just assume and remain silent around me, unless it’s to ask questions or give orders pertaining to their mother.

11th grade I needed to get away again, so I faked illness so that I could be admitted into a psychiatric facility. Learnt behavior and coping mechanisms from childhood made me resort and respond in that manner. I stayed there 2 weeks, in which I was became very ill from contracting strep throat

difficult and challenging. I resorted to skipping class again ..

Foster mom’s estranged ex husband of many years had passed and left her his car..that remained parked outside her house. I would enter the car and duck down and sit ..return home at regular dismissal time.

Foster mom and program got very angry and punished me when they found out.

At age 18 the foster program refused to accept that I wasn’t college material, capable, nor was interested and threatened me with removal from the program and foster moms residence if I didn’t attend and comply.

I didn’t.. and got kicked out of the program, but foster mom decided to keep me because she pitied me, and also didn’t want to resume living alone or with any of her children. She knew they wouldn’t allow her to remain by herself as she was older now.

At age 23 I received my diploma in the mail. I never earned it, and by then the school pitied me and let me have it .

At 22 foster mom income had significantly dwindled due to my dismissal from the program, and she having to stop her in-house beautician business…as it had taken a toll on her…

Sooooo ..

She decided to remain fostering….

and took in another foster child ….

Tbc

Thank you