Compassion and respect during times of conflict

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This topic has 63 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 15 hours, 46 minutes ago by Lucidity.

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August 13, 2025 at 9:32 am #448516

silvery blue
Participant

Hello everyone,

In the past I unintentionally hurt someone here when I tried to set my boundaries.

I needed time and space to reflect, and I would like to express my apology.

I am trying to find my way to reconnect with people… I know that to do this, I need to deal with my emotions in a more responsible and healthy way… so that I don’t make these mistakes again.

I prefer to remain silent in conflicts so as not to hurt others, which has happened to me in the past… but then I hurt myself because I feel like I am not important…

I still can’t properly and tactfully articulate my needs and boundaries without feeling like I am hurting others or myself.

I was wondering if anyone would like to learn how to remain compassionate and considerate during times of conflict with me.

Maybe… this could help the entire tinybuddha community.

PS: I used to have a picture of another butterfly in my profile icon.

With Love,
silvery blue

August 13, 2025 at 10:11 am #448523

anita
Participant

Jana (Yana), is that you..?

August 13, 2025 at 11:35 am #448533

silvery blue
Participant

Hello Anita,

Yes, it’s me Jana. 🦋

I apologize that I hurt you. It wasn’t my intention.

I felt hurt, too. But I decided that I would cultivate the seeds of love in me and others.

“Love means to protect, to offer the feeling of security, of non-fear in ourselves and in others.”

I’m looking for ways how to do this especially in hard times of conflict so that no one suffers too much.

Sending 🌸

August 13, 2025 at 11:51 am #448536

anita
Participant

Welcome back, Jana (or should I address you as Silver Blue?).

Although you deleted your account some time ago, I never forgot you. I feel nothing but affection for you.

🌸 Anita

August 13, 2025 at 1:19 pm #448539

Alessa
Participant

Hi Yana

So good to see you! What a lovely surprise. 🥰

August 13, 2025 at 10:22 pm #448552

anita
Participant

Jana, this is your real name, just like Anita is my real name, ever since birth.

I never forgot you, Jana, because there’s something about you that’s very RAW, something UNIQUELY HONEST.

I learned new things since you were here last. I am more humble.. yet, I know that my humility and vulnerability can be an invitation for these things to be used against me… Perhaps similar to your vulnerability having been used against you?

You know about fake-empathy, fake words.. I know these too now, more than before.

I know the need for words that are raw and honest and true.

If none of this speaks to you.. feel free to not respond to me. I prefer no-response over being attacked where and when I am open, honest, and vulnerable.

Anita

August 13, 2025 at 10:56 pm #448554

Alessa
Participant

Hi Yana

I’m working on patience regarding conflict, people have their own feeling, needs and ways of dealing with things. Patience is something that I struggle with. I am keen always to resolve things quickly. I don’t like living with unresolved conflict. I prefer to face it and address it head on. ❤️

August 13, 2025 at 11:07 pm #448555

Alessa
Participant

Hi Anita

It is okay that you don’t understand me and doubt my authenticity. People do that especially when others are different. I can be hurt and care about people at the same time. I’m confident in that. What you just said hurts. I am able to take care of myself though. The sting of rejection will fade and I will be okay. ❤️

August 13, 2025 at 11:11 pm #448556

Alessa
Participant

I just really genuinely care about not hurting people and showing them respect, even when I’m hurt.

August 13, 2025 at 11:14 pm #448557

Alessa
Participant

There are kinder ways to express genuine feelings. It is perfectly healthy to say. I worry that these things are not true. Not the same connotations as asserting that these things are not true. One involves an assumption about another person. The other is a fear that may or may not be true. It is okay to have fears. Everyone does. ❤️

August 13, 2025 at 11:15 pm #448558

Alessa
Participant

Sadly life is messy and people can be hurt by just about anything. ❤️

August 13, 2025 at 11:25 pm #448559

Alessa
Participant

Why do I care deeply about these things?

Well, I have learned a lot about communication. Once you see hurtful communication as a misunderstanding or coming from a place where their needs are not being met and craving for their needs to be met it makes you want to treat them with kindness.

Of course, it is still important to have boundaries and take care of yourself. ❤️

August 13, 2025 at 11:31 pm #448560

Alessa
Participant

Once you see blame as difficulty interpreting and navigating a naturally complex situation and an immediate focus on what is right in front of you to explain this phenomenon. It doesn’t have quite the same impact. ❤️

August 13, 2025 at 11:32 pm #448561

Alessa
Participant

How I view you hasn’t changed Anita. I still see your inherent goodness. ❤️

August 13, 2025 at 11:38 pm #448562

Alessa
Participant

It is okay to be hurt and angry. I am right now. It will pass. ❤️
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