“You must learn to let go. Release the stress. You were never in control anyway.” ~Steve Maraboli
I’ve noticed that things go much more smoothly when I give up control—when I allow them to happen instead of making them happen. Unfortunately, I’m terrible at this.
Although I’m much better than I used to be, I’m a bit of a control freak. I often use perfectly good energy trying to plan, predict, and prevent things that I cannot possibly plan, predict, or prevent.
For example, I wonder if my baby is going to get a proper nap when we travel …
“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything—anger, anxiety, or possessions—we cannot be free.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
Imagine there is a river running through you.
Your entire experience of life flows through you, down that river. Everything you think, feel, and do passes through, powered by the current of the river.
Your emotions, your opinions, your sense of identity … your habits, diagnoses, and choices … they aren’t still or solid, sitting somewhere. They are brought to life, felt, and then they drift away. They …
Note: The winners for this giveaway have been chosen! They are:
- Michael Maher
- Kathleen B
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“The future is completely open, and we are writing it moment to moment.” ~Pema Chodron
My family recently drove from Michigan to North Carolina—twenty hours roundtrip. To entertain themselves, my five-year-old daughter Willow taught my three-year-old son Miller to play rock-paper-scissors in the backseat.
Miller learned the hand signals and got the overall concept pretty quickly, but he had a hard time with the fast speed of the game. Willow narrated, “Rock-paper-scissors…go! Okay, next round!” But Miller wanted to linger.…
“If you think you’re enlightened, go spend a week with your family.” ~Ram Dass
I just returned from a four-day trip with my family. It was my own family of four (my husband and two kids), plus my mom, my two sisters, and my brother-in-law.
It was great. We get along well and have fun together.
And, it was four days with family.
It’s a funny thing…although you grow up with your siblings, listening to and being influenced by your parents, you all end up so unique—different from each other and different from the adults who raised you.…
“When we…go back into the past and rake up all the troubles we’ve had, we end up reeling and staggering through life. Stability and peace of mind come by living in the moment.” ~Pam Vredevelt
There is a way in which we tend to view issues in our lives that makes it seem like the issue is a big, scary monster that chases us around everywhere we go.
We have commitment issues. Or we are bad with money. Or we have an eating disorder, we drink too much, or we follow-through too seldom.
We view ourselves and our lives …
“Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself.” ~Cicero
You know that state of confusion where you feel really unsure about what to do—you’re talking about it with all of your friends, making lists, weighing options, lying awake all night?
As confused and unsure as you may feel in those moments, you’re not. You have much more clarity than you think.
Re-read that last line again. You have a lot more clarity than you think. You see, clarity is what you are. It’s what you’re born with, it’s your true nature, and it’s what is always there underneath the …
“On a deeper level you are already complete. When you realize that, there is a playful, joyous energy behind what you do” ~Eckhart Tolle
I was recently speaking with a friend about what it feels like to connect with your underlying, always-there state of well-being. I attempted to describe the indescribable—the feeling underneath the mental chatter that is who you truly are.
The peacefulness. The clarity. The stillness. I told her that in my experience, the most prominent feature was the deep knowing that all is well—that it always has been and always will be, no matter …
“Most of the shadows in life are caused by standing in our own sunshine.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
How many times have you heard “Follow your heart” or “Let emotion be your guide”?
Too many to count, I’d bet.
It’s generally good advice; it’s certainly wiser to follow your own feelings than to blindly do what other people think you should do.
But reading into your emotions can also lead you astray.
You see, you are always feeling your thinking. You are not necessarily always feeling “the truth,” or even your own personal truth.
Every emotion, feeling, or mood you experience …
“We may have all come in different ships, but we’re in the same boat now.” ~Martin Luther King Jr.
I once had a totally commonplace, uneventful thought that transformed the way I viewed relationships.
I’m not sure that it was mine; it certainly wasn’t anything groundbreaking or unique. I may have read it somewhere, I can’t remember now.
It was the notion that when two people in a relationship think of themselves as on the same team, things get much easier. Positive feelings grow freely. Score-keeping and resentment are nonexistent.
Insights are very personal—a simple phrase that turns my …
“Slow down and everything you are chasing will come around and catch you.” ~John De Paola
My almost three year old, Willow, is obsessed with playing doctor.
She lies on the couch, hands down at her sides. She hands me a small flashlight and a toy frying pan (which I’m told to pretend is a stethoscope) and orders, “Check me out, Doctor Mommy!”
She methodically points out every scratch, scrape, bruise, and freckle on her body. She tells me how much snot she feels in her nose and how many times she coughed, sneezed, and hiccupped that day so that …
“Letting go gives us freedom and freedom is the only condition for happiness.” -Thich Nhat Hanh
Most people I know are carrying extra weight—and I’m not talking about gaining a few pounds.
I’m talking about the mental and emotional weight we lug around with us. We carry it everywhere—like a backpack full of bricks—and it weighs us down.
Personally, much of my extra weight comes from the expectations I have for myself to be more—more present, more productive, more enlightened. Although these might be wonderful things to work toward, wanting to be more can easily translate to not being enough …
“The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably deal with.” ~Tony Robbins
“Uncertainty” may be one of the least popular places to hang out.
I hear this all the time from my clients, friends, and truth be told, from the voice inside my own head. Certainty is almost always preferable to uncertainty. Humans like to know.
I wanted to know when our house was on the market last year. Would it sell? When would it sell? How much would we get? Should we start packing up closets now, or wait until …
“When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” ~Lao Tzu
Pretty much everyone I know thinks they should be doing better in some way, at least sometimes.
Are you totally and completely satisfied with what you’ve done so far in life? No little part of you thinks, maybe I should have more money in the bank? Or maybe I should have a more professional wardrobe, or a book contract, or a dog that’s housebroken?
The word “should” isn’t exactly enlightened or peaceful, nor is the practice of judging yourself or believing that you’re not exactly …