We think that the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.” ~Pema Chodron
Don’t run away from your fear, Pema says. Lean into it. This is her message.
It’s not the most popular or good feeling practice. Our natural tendency is to fight, flee, …
“The moment in between what you once were, and who you are now becoming, is where the dance of life really takes place.” ~Barbara De Angelis
When we were kids, my dad used to measure us as we grew taller. On the back of the door of the laundry chute, he would keep track of me and my two sisters.
Every six months or so, he’d take out the ruler and lay it right on the top of our heads and mark the door. When we’d step away, we’d notice that we grew a few inches since the last time. …
“Be bold, be bold, and everywhere be bold.” ~Herbert Spencer
I’m actually much more of a proponent of “going with the flow” then going against it. And sometimes forcing yourself to do something you don’t want to do can be considered going against the flow.
But I do that for a different reason, and not everyone would agree.
I have two schools of thought. On the one hand, expansion is inevitable. We’re always called to become more than we are in life. It’s the nature of being human.
On the other hand, there’s something called “homeostasis.” Like a thermostat that’s …
“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.” ~Benjamin Spock
I was talking to a friend of mine a couple weeks ago. I was telling her how I always know when it’s time for me to move. She asked me, “How do you know? What makes you aware that you ‘know’ this?”
It was a reasonable question: What is the actual sign that indicates that you “know” to do anything?
“You just know,” I told her.
“But how?” she asked, curiously.
I didn’t really have a good answer for her at the time, but it stuck with me.…
“I know but one freedom and that is the freedom of the mind.” ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery
I don’t know about anyone else, but sometimes I can be a prisoner to my own thoughts and forget that I have the freedom to choose. Choose a different thought. Choose a different experience. Choose a different interpretation.
I remember having a coach that used to listen to me rant. I would be sure I was the victim of something that was happening to me, and I would tell her all about it expecting sympathy.
She would listen patiently and then say, “Yeah? And …
“After winter comes the summer. After night comes the dawn. And after every storm, there comes clear, open skies.” ~Samuel Rutherford
I was talking to someone this week about his feeling that things weren’t happening fast enough. That with all he was doing, intending, and putting out there more should be happening, and faster.
My question to him was, “Really? Should things really be happening faster? Or are you exactly where you’re supposed to be?”
We have a tendency to think we have it all figured out. When it should happen, how it should happen, who it should happen with—and …
“Good decisions come from experience, and experience comes from bad decisions.” ~Unknown
A reader recently wrote to me:
“I struggle with making decisions and always second-guess myself… I recently had to make a decision about something and after giving it a lot of thought, I decided. Now, months later, my decision is eating me up and I can’t stop thinking I made the wrong decision. So I guess my point is once you decide, how do you stop yourself from second guessing?”
I know I’ve been there, having made a decision I not only second-guessed but wish I hadn’t made …
“If you’re happy, if you’re feeling good, then nothing else matters.” ~Robin Wright
I have this morning ritual: I sit in my living room and write down all the things I love about my life. It’s not really that elaborate. My list is usually quite simple.
This morning I wrote about how much I love my new accountant, how grateful I was that the sun came out today, how good it felt to be sore from the yoga class the day before, and how much I enjoy watching my dog play with her toy.
I do this because I know …
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” ~Lao Tzu
Ever since my birthday in December, I’ve been changing things up. I think it’s good once in a while to take inventory and make new decisions.
You don’t always have to analyze why you decided to do something or where you went wrong or where it all started. Sometimes, you can just stand where you are, decide you want something different, and then do something about it.
I realized in doing this, even though change can be scary, it can sometimes feel downright refreshing!…
“Why compare yourself with others? No one in the entire world can do a better job of being you than you.” ~Unknown
We all do it or have done it at some point in our lives: We compare ourselves to others and gauge where we are based on what we observe them to be doing.
If this was simply an observation, that would be one thing. But in comparing ourselves to others, we often end up judging ourselves. There’s no one worse to judge!
If you have ever noticed, it doesn’t matter how many people are on your side, cheering …
I write a newsletter every week, and last month a subscriber emailed me with a question I thought was worth exploring.
… I guess what I’m getting at is if everyone had a choice, treating sewage would be the last thing one would want to do. Isn’t it? Well, yes, I’m making that judgment. If everyone was Wayne Dyer or that money guru lady Suze Orman, we’d all be reaching fantasy levels of achievement. That is what they seem to be proposing is possible.
But someone still has to take out the trash. If we’re all living big, then who’s …
“Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
When I lived in Santa Monica a few years back, I developed a friendship with a woman I learned a lot from. She was a yogini, writer, and actress.
One day she asked if I wanted to take a ride to her dentist’s office with her. She said it was fifteen minutes away but would take forty-five minutes to get there. Noticing the difference in the times, I asked the obvious question.
“Oh,” she said, “I always …
“If you ask me what I came to do in this world, I will tell you, I came to live out LOUD.” ~Émile Zola
1. Live your life on purpose.
Not on “default.” Be Proactive. Make conscious and deliberate choices. When you don’t choose, circumstances choose for you and you are never leading: you are following or catching up—or worse, living in “default” mode.
2. Utilize your full potential.
Give what you’re doing your best and fullest attention. Be here now. Even if you’re not where you want to be, giving it half your effort doesn’t move you forward. Master …
“More powerful than the will to win is the courage to begin.” ~Unknown
I’ve spoken with a number of people recently who are doing something that is “just okay” with their lives but who really want to be doing something else. They feel an urgency to break free and go for it, even though they haven’t defined “it.”
I think a lot of people, if not currently there, understand this. It’s in our nature to move toward greater expression. When we’re not moving in a forward direction, we question ourselves, wondering what we’re doing with our lives—and what we’re waiting …
“Don’t wait for your feelings to change to take the action. Take the action and your feelings will change.” ~Barbara Baron
A few months ago I challenged myself with Adventure Boot Camp. I thought, “What would be more challenging than waking up at five in the morning and working out with a group of ladies for an hour, four days a week?”
And I have to say, it was tough! I couldn’t walk for three days.
But as the days progressed and my muscles acclimated, it occurred to me: I’m someone who can roll out of bed at five in …
“Never ignore a gut feeling. But never believe it’s enough.” ~Robert Heller
A couple months ago, when I was almost done producing a teleseminar and spending way too much time hunched over at the computer, I decided to do something different. Something that would bring me joy, that would get take me out of my normal environment and actually excite me.
So, I did what had been on my list to do for a long time: I went flying.
I didn’t know what to expect making the forty-five minute trek out to the Sonoma County hills to fly on a …