I’m really sorry to hear this story, it has been a pile of s*** from day one by the sound of things. I can understand the living situation and not wanting to live with strangers. When I live with strangers it is overwhelming being in their presence, it should be a human right to have your own space and not be considered normal to share your home with strangers. No other animals really do this for good reason.

Do you live in the UK? Have you considered applying for support or grants? Things like PIP for mental health grants, they are quick to fill out and you can get help via citizens advice? It could provide you with an income to get away or to find a cheap place perhaps? Not sure if there are other solutions where you are?

Also if you are at home there are jobs you can do online, they don’t tend to pay a big income but it can be something to help you. Websites like Money Shed are good for starters. Plus it can give you something to do and they have a community of people online who will help you through everything. You can make £300/400 a month which is rent money for example or a holiday which might be good.

Do you know of any support groups locally for those who may be struggling with similar issues? I recommend it from a practical perspective, it might be absolute hell to be there in a room of strangers but being around people really could be a lifeline for almost anything (work, home, support network, etc) and you don’t have to talk and generally there will be people there who are non-judgmental and who may have been through things like you?

It’s frustrating the lack of these groups really, you know you have strong drug and alcohol support networks set up by governments but there is a real lack of mental health ones.

Have you considered more radical treatment? I’m not sure if I’m allowed to mention it but it some countries they have quite “radical” methods of treatment for sufferers using plant medicines and natural remedies which can induce intense experiences but have also had “radical” results as well. I can point you in the direction for this if you’d like but I would recommend getting a stronger grounding first if possible with work etc so your mind can be more focused on your pain.

Either way, I would add that you’re trying to understand and “unravel” your life, something which you don’t need to do but is something the mind will do over and over again in an attempt to provide answers for you (keep you safer, etc). This can be a wasted endeavor and lead to rumination.

My best wishes,

B

Hello,

Can I ask how old you are? Are you feeling against a relationship at the moment?

I have seen over the years what I see as over analysis spurred on by a buoyant spiritual industry, searching for understanding in every corner and in a culture (western culture) that has become tilted towards narcissism and overly self-competent driven. We really are tribal creatures and I’ve seen people go in search of spiritual answers when I really don’t think there is a mystical style answer.

To me, it sounds like you may be neglecting yourself? I am offering my view from my preference towards the biological/physiological perspective. But it is my opinion that culturally people are neglecting their bodies, their bodies are calling to be used and we neglect it because of risk socially and the intensity of it and economic factors. We are designed to grow exponentially and unequivocally so in every dimension and on every level with no let up…

Your body is calling to you, what’s important to you, you’re jealous of what others have and that’s okay. Maybe there is some distrust of life? That you’re not following life’s calling? Is this jealousy not life telling you where to go and what to do? Are you afraid of this level of vulnerability that’s required even on a sub-conscious level?

I hope I haven’t been too hard here, I do think life sometimes is so glaringly obvious and we’ve created incredibly intelligent ways to complicate and confuse life when it screams in our faces what to do and our bodies are calling out to us what we want.

Best wishes

B

hey,

it sounds a really tough time. Sorry to hear that. Are you able to get yourself back into education or work? Or is that a bit too much at the moment?

Overall, it sounds like you’re worrying a lot which is understandable, things sound a bit disjointed which at your age again is normal.

Have you gone to see a doctor? Have you considered speaking with a therapist if you could get this funded in any way?

I think it’s important for you to know, there are many other people who are feeling the same as you out there, you are not alone. You may come across them in your daily life and you could probably recognise this when you see them so keep an open mind if you can.

On the psychology/personal development etc, have you seen a guy on youtube called Actualized/Leo Gura/actualized.org? He is a personal development guru and may be something of interest?

Good luck.

B

Hey steve, I am the same, I have quite severe social anxiety. I think it’s mainly a collection of bullying as a young child to having a dad who was really firm about who he was and who I should be if you see my thinking.

I had to quit work not because of social anxiety but because of meaninglessness in my life. I was turning up at work and was making mistakes because I literally didn’t care about anything. I have decluttered a lot of the rubbish thoughts I have about things but I still struggle with the meaning. A lot of my friends live in a different part of the country for me and they all seem to be going quite seperate ways in their lives so it doesn’t feel like there’s much alignment anymore.

I’ve signed up to go to local group classes, I despise these things because I know theres loads of bull**** from the people who run them as they’re there for their paycheque and don’t really care about the people around them who are openly struggling.

Would you join any groups or anything like that? Or even get an extra small side job to help keep you social? I know the feeling of pointlessness, that’s what I feel most of the time and it’s really hard to find any motivation at all to just live life.

Best of luck.

B