Forum Replies Created
-
AuthorPosts
-
February 20, 2024 at 9:33 am in reply to: growing up – becoming adul / procrastination – in connection to childhood trauma #427966
anitaParticipantDear Robbie:
Feb 18-19, 2024 (I will be adding the boldface feature selectively to the following quotes): “My mother used to hit me whenever she would find out about my bad grades. A few times, I remember being brutally hit with a belt. Often after hitting me she would cry and apologise. She lost it quite a few times like that…
“Finally in the summer of 2022 I was finally financially independent from my parents. I was living in Poland with my girlfriend and I was making better money now… I finally felt more responsible, less tied to them… Up until the age of 29 I was basically fully and later partially supported by my parents…
“During the period when I was fully independent, every time we talked on the phone they would offer to help me financially If I needed it. They would even insist. I always said no. I thanked them and told them if I found myself in need, I will let them know. Well, those times have come and I remember asking for their help… The moment I received money from them the cage fell down again. I felt it right away. I was again, on a leash.
“It’s Christmas!… We went to spend a couple of weeks with my parents. I needed to be ‘home’… I’ve been thinking about doing a course and I wanted to ask my parents for their financial support in order for me to become a Personal Trainer….At first, my mother was thrilled – ‘oh, finally! you’re doing something! We were worried about you. Why didn’t you tell us earlier? I give you the money right now if you want!’. That felt good! It felt like a welcoming hug. It felt like healthy support from my family.…
“Towards the end of our stay, I’ve had enough. My mother was already acting very standoffish because she thought we didn’t spend enough quality time together as a family – the 4 of us. She cornered me and started a fight – told me I didn’t care about them and I only cared about myself. I’ve had enough! I told her, that the way she’s been treating me when I was a kid hurts me still. I reminded her how she used to hit me… She rejected it completely. At first, she said she didn’t hit me and I’m talking nonsense. Also, she said to me – ‘You’re leaving in 3 days. From that point, you’re on your own’. She didn’t talk to us for the next days. Before leaving, we said goodbye and cried. Still, she wouldn’t own it. She kept telling me that I was a handful and It was very difficult for them to raise me…
“We said goodbye and went back to Poland on the 5th of January this year. Since, I’ve been looking for work… I feel terrible being supported still by them. I really hoped I could mend things with my parents, I hoped to make things work better… I called my mother 10 days after we left. I was hoping she’d by then cleansed a little and we could actually have a normal conversation. I ended up listening to a 40 minutes monologue – her telling me how bad many things I’ve done as a kid and that I deserved to be hit. And she was joking when she told me I’d be placed into foster care. Since, we’ve talked very little and I’ve been told she’s been very down and acting crazy lately. Maybe she feels guilty. What a mess.. I can almost hear you say”-
– I went (again) over our past communication, and like I thought, you didn’t share about your mother hitting you back in 2018 and onward, not until a couple of days ago.. even though you submitted many long posts. In the past, you presented both your parents as severely emotionally neglectful, there physically but not emotionally. In this new thread, you shared for the first time that there was abuse- beyond neglect- on the part of your mother. This fits with your descriptions, in previous threads, of the tension and physical discomfort you experienced when in her presence.
I am trying to get an understanding about your mother by looking at the parts I boldfaced above and the only word that goes through my mind is “crazy” (your word above), not sensible or reasonable. She seems bitter, angry, chronically stressed, perhaps, unaware/ having no insight into herself or into others.. unpredictable, impulsive… Can you help me understand her better?
A thought that came to my mind yesterday is related to these quotes: “I was also a shy person all the time and I guess I rarely got much attention” (June 8, 2018), and “I would do whatever it takes to stand out, so more attention comes my way” (Feb 19, 2024), in connection to you getting positive and enthusiastic attention from your mother when you asked for money (“my mother was thrilled – …’I give you the money right now if you want!’“, Feb 19, 2024), and how it felt for you to receive her positive and enthusiastic attention (“That felt good! It felt like a welcoming hug. It felt like healthy support from my family“, Feb 19, 2024).
It is possible that this positive and enthusiastic attention from your mother when you asked her for money.. is behind a motivation on your part, throughout your adulthood, to get into situations where you need money and then ask her for money, because it pleases her to give you money and she gives you this positive attention…?
anita
anitaParticipantDear Kshiti:
(I am adding the boldface feature selectively to the quotes):”I get flashbacks of what I felt during that time, some examples are – ‘nothing ever gets better’ ‘there is no point of looking for my wellbeing’… I began feeling that just when things started to become better, they went for worse. At this point my past baggage became really heavy because I began to think that it’s pointless to keep hopes as all I got was traumatic setbacks again and again… It brought at the same time, an unbearable mix of emotions like despair, frustration, bitterness, hopelessness etc. I felt that no matter how much I tried, things would always get worse. I think because the situation was grave and had high stakes, it became traumatic”-
– Despair is the complete absence of hope, and Hope is the expectation or trust that something positive will happen in the future as a result of your efforts today. Here is a quote (from good reads) about despair: “Losing your life is not the worst thing that can happen. The worst thing is to lose your reason for living“.
To counter and defeat your personal despair, Kshiti, clarify to yourself what is your personal, chosen Reason for living, a purpose for living related to something you value most. And focus on that reason every day, state it for yourself when you wake up in the morning, when you go to sleep at night, and in-between. If you would like to share your thoughts about this, please do, and hopefully.. I can help you in the process of finding and choosing your own, personal Reason for living.
– Helplessness is the feeling and belief that you have no control over what is happening and what might happen next, that no matter what you do, you can’t prevent bad things from happening, so what’s the point.
It is true that we are all helpless in some situations and lots of people do find themselves in helpless situations such as wars, earthquakes or, on a smaller scale, financial bankruptcy.. or the loss of a scholarship. Here The Serenity Prayer can help (it definitely helps me). You can repeat it to yourself in the following words, or you can customize it to fit your religion or lack of religion, to English or another language: “god, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference“.
This prayer/ focus is about adopting a calm state of mind, as calm as possible for you in regard to situations you truly cannot control, and to adopt a courageous state of mind in regard to situations you can control, at least in part, and then put this courage into action. You can think of courage as Strength in the face of Despair.
Here are a few quotes about courage (good reads): “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it’s the courage to continue that counts”, “It takes courage to grow up and become who you truly are”, “Courage is the most important of all virtues because without courage, you can’t practice any other virtue consistently”.
Back to your words, Kshiti: “It would have been so unfair… it shattered me because of the sheer unfairness.. the biggest challenge was that it was due to entirely unfair reasons!“-
– Here are a few quotes on Fairness aka Justice: “Nothing is to be preferred before justice”, “Win or lose, do it fairly”, and “Life is unfair. And it’s not fair that life is unfair”.
Kshiti, accept with as much calm as you can all that you truly (and sadly) cannot change, and focus on changing what you can: practice fairness and justice in your choice of words and actions, and encourage others to do the same.
anita
February 19, 2024 at 5:09 pm in reply to: Telling the difference between gut and fear in relationships #427946anitaParticipantDear Gen Z Seaturtle:
Regardless of how old I may be (I am not.. ?!! ???!!) it is WRONG to let the bee’s knees die. The bee’s knees must make a comeback in your generation, and the world will be a better place for it!
anita
February 19, 2024 at 4:44 pm in reply to: Telling the difference between gut and fear in relationships #427943anitaParticipantDear Courageous Seaturtle who is the bee’s knees (bee’s knees emoji)
No freezing toes today, (rainy but not cold). I hope that we both sleep well tonight!
anita
anitaParticipantDear kshiti1502:
You are welcome! I understand better why this event was traumatic for you, a big part of the reason is that it was, as you said, “entirely unfair“. I want to reply further Tues morning, when I am better focused (it is Mon afternoon here).
anita
February 19, 2024 at 2:57 pm in reply to: Telling the difference between gut and fear in relationships #427938anitaParticipantDear Seaturtle;
I read only a bit of your recent post, beginning, middle and end, as I am not focused and about to go on my walk, but reads like this is all a great opportunity for the two of us to open that 3rd eye wider and bigger. Will get back to you in the morning! (Also, I like you very much, and was hoping..!! that we keep communicating, so glad to receive your message!)
anita
anitaParticipantDear Kshiti1502:
You are very welcome, and I am glad that you will be looking into online information PTSD.
“Here is the thing, I made significant recovery in my physical health by the end of 2022 and panic attacks also eased out by that time period“- recovery from severe anxiety is not a linear process, as in once recovered, always recovered. There is progress, relief, then something negative happens and there is regression, and healing needs to be resumed.
“personally think that if it’s related to the symptoms of PTSD, it is connected more with the scholarship issue”– I understand that the intrusive thoughts occurred following the scholarship issue, but .. do you think of a halting of a scholarship application process as a traumatic event, in objective terms?
anita
anitaParticipantDear Kshiti:
You wrote about the moment your scholarship application process was stopped: “I think my emotional state at that moment has left such imprints that they still affect me, making me ruminate over them even though my reality is different“.
The reality of your scholarship application changed, as it was processed and approved, but let’s look at what parts of your reality did not change (I am adding the boldface feature to the following quote): “I had already faced some serious challenges in the past three years, including a chronic spine disease that kept me crippled for a year and resurfaced again in 2021, conflicts with family members especially my dad, a toxic relationship“-
– First, it saddens me that instead of your father having empathy and compassion for you for having a chronic spine disease- he’s been giving you difficult time on top of difficult time!
Second, I assume that your thoughts about your chronic spine disease and about your toxic relationship with your father included thoughts like “nothing ever gets better”, “there’s no point in looking for my wellbeing”, “I’m tired now”, and “this is so unfair”!
Third, your scholarship application was halted unexpectedly, and your previous thoughts resumed: “nothing ever gets better”, “there’s no point..”, etc.
The Trauma behind your flashbacks is not the halting of your scholarship application, but what happened before.. and still. What you are suffering from now, seems to be Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), the trauma being your father’s toxic misbehavior toward you, and the chronic spine condition.
What you need to do now, seems to me, is what is recommended for people suffering from PTSD. You can do an online research on the matter, if you’d like, and let me know of your thoughts..?
anita
anitaParticipantDear James:
You are very welcome and thank you (!) for your appreciation and heart emojis, you made my day!!!
Anytime you want to post again, please do.
anita
February 19, 2024 at 12:44 pm in reply to: growing up – becoming adul / procrastination – in connection to childhood trauma #427926anitaParticipantDear Robbie:
I spent a long, long time on a reply to your recent post earlier today, almost concluded a long post with quotes and all, like I normally do, and then lost it all after opening a new window. So, this reply will be different and way, way shorter than the one I lost: first, you are welcome and thank you for your kind words and love sentiment. I do hope, like you, that people will be reading your story will draw hope and help from it. You express yourself so well!
Thank you for the author/ book recommendation. I looked up quotes and particularly liked the ones I was able to process (having ADD myself), one about children doing way more reacting (to parents0 than acting; another about how ADD is about tunning out chronic pain experience in childhood because the developing nervous system cannot handle the ongoing (negative) stimulation, nor can the body tolerate the high levels of stress hormones secreted into then blood. It reads like, by the way, that if you, Robbie, suffer from ADD, it’s not as severe as in my case.
I was glad to read that you are still in a long-term relationship with your girlfriend, who reads like a lovely person! I hope that you land a job (in Poland or in Spain) fitting your needs for money/ financial independent, on one hand, and your need for freedom and flexibility, on the other hand.
In regard to your mother, I was thinking about what drives her in regard to how she’s been treating you as a child, and still. It seems to me that she feels guilty for hitting you, for threatening to send you to foster home, etc., (as she should), but her response to her guilty feelings is- unfortunately- not to acknowledge, sincerely apologize for her past behaviors, and correct those- but instead, to guilt-trip and threaten you further. In other words, her solution to her past wrongdoings against you is to .. add wrong on top of wrong… (nice work, mom… not!)
Am I correct in my understanding?
anita
February 19, 2024 at 12:04 pm in reply to: Telling the difference between gut and fear in relationships #427925anitaParticipantDear Seaturtle:
“I am just wondering what this information that you re-processed about me and how that changes your analysis of me, I want to see myself through your eyes. You amended answer, that me and N could never be happy, is that because of what we spoke previously, his spider tendencies, or is it because you now believe I would be harmful to him? Why could we not possibly make a healthy relationship?“- I just tried to locate (for a 2nd time) a sentence you wrote some time ago that caused me alarm, like a beginning of a shift in my understanding, but I can’t find it and I am overwhelmed by the sheer amount of our posting, so much to re-read. So, I’ll try to do without re-reading:
At first, my empathy was with you for feeling UNSEEN, for growing up that way, just as it happened to me. I thought and expressed to you that your expectations of N (based on your two original posts) were unreasonable, that it was not N being responsible for you feeling unseen, that it was F’s (and your mother, in some ways) responsibility. We talked a lot about you projecting F into N.
The first shift, as I remember it, was when you described the cash and C word incidents. I then thought that the reason you complained about lesser things in regard to N’s behaviors (ex., N not getting your jokes, not his fault at all, really) was because you didn’t want to face the bigger faults in regard to N’s behaviors, or misbehaviors. This shift led to discussing N as a spider, motivated instinctually to keep you too weak so that you don’t leave his web, seeing him as a controlling person.. aka the bad guy in the relationship.
Next, you wrote (and I can’t locate it), paraphrased, that you will not get back with N unless he was not afraid to adore you 100% of the time (or just 100%, I don’t remember), and I thought: this sounds so… over the top. But I figured, maybe you were upset, and it just came out, those words, this sentiment.
You then asked if a healthy relationship with him would be possible, and I couldn’t remember what was so bad about N.. I lost the idea that N was .. the bad guy. A couple of days ago, I re-read and studied your two original posts (which you submitted before I was back to being a participant in the forums), and it occurred to me that I was wrong: N was not the controlling party in the relationship, you were: you stated it yourself, that the date nights were about what you wanted to do, etc., and you suggested that maybe you were narcissistic. Now, the narcissistic word is so overused that I didn’t pay much attention to it, and the fact that you brought it up in regard to yourself made me think that it’s almost evidence that you are not.
There was another thing, you kept saying that you are an empath, big on empathy for others, and yet, lately, I asked myself: where is it? Didn’t see it. You’ve been delightful to communicate with, and I liked you so much.. just didn’t notice empathy. For N, I don’t recall it. Or for other people.. other than your younger sister, maybe..
So, now, I am quite embarrassed for having vilified N- it was wrong of me to do so, and I don’t want to do this again, not here in your thread and not elsewhere. What I am now inclined to think (from the totality of what you shared, which I did not re-read) is that N has very low self-esteem, that he is highly addicted to weed which keeps him mellow and unreactive (the Teflon brain we discussed), that he is a people pleaser, perhaps codependent, and still, I think, not a good partner for you (for his weed use, if nothing else). And I think that you are not a good partner for him. I think that the cash and C word incidents were a couple of times when he was not able to do the Teflon thing/ to be mellow (you mentioned that at those incidents, he wasn’t on weed, if I recall correctly), so he sort of.. verbally exploded.
I know that following some therapy and hard work, you will be able to have a healthy relationship with a man who is suitable for you.
“If we met again and he (N) turned a leaf and wanted to enter these conversations with me, I could see it resulting in a healthy relationship, what do you think about that?“- I think that you need to turn a new leaf and that N should get help with his weed abuse ad wit his self-esteem and assertion skills.
“What is the difference between trying to manifest good things for myself and be positive, versus too high of standards for my future when I typed that I was inspired and trying to reprogram myself to truly believe my life is going up from here“- got to take on more humility, to be willing to be equal to others instead of superior. Start or restart your journey as a person equal to others, other people being equal (not inferior) to you.
“I am not trying to say I am so different than others and so special, in fact my dad reminded me quite often I was not“- and you tried to prove your father wrong..?
“My point is that N did not understand how I saw the world, and as much as I tried to understand how he saw the world“- how does he see the world (summarized)?
“I would make a comment and he literally would just not even react, and sometimes is ok but it was so often I started to literally ask if he could hear me, and he could but his mind was other places”– weed places.. ?
“I was jealous of his roommate. I was jealous that when he walked into the home while N and I were relaxing together, that N’s whole demeanor shifted. We went from a calm moment together to him yelling across the room about money and work… N’s roommate called girls gross names, talked about his sex life all the time and was very vulgar… I was jealous when I would be laying in N’s bed waiting for him and he would talk all night with his roommate“- maybe N is a people pleaser when it comes to dominant/ controlling people..? Or N is vulgar too (when not on weed)?.. (Who is N…?)
“N dropped my heart all over the place, being late, denying his own words and ignoring both his and my feelings“- yes, denying his words, I now remember this part.. Not cool at all. Yes, he is not,, the good guy in the relationship. Both of you messed up. But you still have your 3rd eye open, even during this difficult time. His 3rd eye may be forever closed.
“When you said I “required and demanded of him complete and ever present adoration” I am not sure how to feel about this. When I first read it I wanted to deny that I was this way, because the phrasing sounds extreme… When I see successful relationships that have gone the distance, a common factor is that the man adores the woman for who she is..”- what successful relationships have you witnessed (in real life) and did you witness these closely..?
“So when my roommate cried on her birthday because her boyfriend was in a bad mood all day and didn’t treat the day as special… this was narcissistic?“- I wouldn’t think that. but when you felt devastated by N not getting a joke.. that’s extreme.
“I feel like I care too much if anything, about the feelings of others“- when you heard that N said post breakup that he feels like dying.. I don’t remember you caring too much for his supposed suffering.. Like I wrote above, I am not in touch with you caring too much for N, for friends… We communicated so much, I don’t remember all.
“What is the difference between actually being in an unfulfilled relationship where someone is treating you wrongly, and you just being narcissistic for believing you deserve better?”- I think that both you and N treated each other wrong at one time or another (one is not the bad guy while the other is the good guy), and you both deserve better.
“What I hear is that if you are this way then you just are and you don’t deserve what you think you do, you’re delusional“- you deserved positive attention and respect as a child, you deserved to feel that you mattered, that what you needed and wanted was valid and of value. You didn’t get it then. You weren’t born with unrealistic expectations in regard to a romantic partner, the unrealistic, extreme expectations (overall, put together) were the result of a severe lack in childhood.
“I feel overwhelmed. It doesn’t resonate with me that I don’t deserve more than what N was able to be for me, and I do believe my future partner will adore me, being told he may not honestly makes me question everything I ever thought about love. I feel confused, do I not know who I am at all? This whole time, since the breakup I have been trying to remind myself I did the right thing and that I deserved more than how he was treating me, and not to be told I don’t deserve anything and thinking I deserve more is being narcissistic, I just feel lost.”-
– I boldfaced what you said I told you, but I didn’t tell you these things. I do believe that you deserve a man who is not constantly on weed, too9 mellow to have deep conversations, Teflon-ing what you say to him., etc. I am not saying that having deep, honest conversations with a romantic partner is too much for you to ask.
Please calm down best you can. I won’t be able to write more to you today. Please take a hot bath, go for a slow walk outside.. I wish you would see a counselor/ therapist. I am sorry that you are feeling lost. Here is a quote I read today and thought about you: “So self-acceptance does not mean self-admiration or even self-liking at every moment of our lives, but tolerance for all our emotions, including those that make us feel uncomfortable.”― Gabor Maté.
anita
anitaParticipantDear Kshiti1502: I am sorry about the delay in my response. I’ll be back to ytou soon.
anita
February 19, 2024 at 10:11 am in reply to: Telling the difference between gut and fear in relationships #427920anitaParticipantDear Seaturtle: I am reading your most recent post and typing a reply.
anita
anitaParticipantDear James:
Welcome back to the forums!
You shared about your father back on Jan 10, 2018 (six years ago!): “My drug addicted father took my brother and I away from my sister and mother at the age of 4 years old. I didn’t see my mother and sister again until I was 8… I was told that my mother was the devil… When my family reunited, I.. was terrified of her.. Within a year of my mother reuniting, my dad completely fell off the wagon, and his addiction blown.. My childhood was filled with stress over my dad.. I’d worry sick about him dying. I’d sleep by the front door so I’d know the moment he was home. I was always happy to see him. I was never mad at him, I just acted like everything was perfect now that he was home”.
About yourself, you shared: “In adulthood, I realized I had major separation anxiety. If my partner and I would fight, and they’d leave, it felt like the world was ending… I myself have a temper… (I) react very poorly at times.. that always leaves me feeling very guilty… I’m not very good at.. listening”.
About your partner at the time, you shared: “I’ve been in a very challenging relationship for the past 5 years with a man 15 years older than me. After much research, I believe my boyfriend has borderline personality disorder… My boyfriend and I moved in almost right away and we were inseparable. I was passionately in love with him and he was my entire world…. He.. can speak in a very aggressive way and he often makes me feel like a child… I’m just confused if I should continue or just give up….I love him very much and he does add value to my life. All my friends and family tell me to leave him, that I can do much better and that people never change. I don’t believe that.. people do change if they really want to, but how many chances should one give?”
4.5 years later, on July 20, 2022, you posted an update on the relationship above: “I got out of this relationship and it was and still is the best decision I have ever made. Things are so much clearer when you are outside of a situation… I love the fact that no one send ‘leave him’ because that really never works! Lol we don’t leave, not until we are ready to.”
1.5 year later, you posted again on this new thread: ” I always believed in him and hoped he’d get clean. As an adult I’ve struggled with severe abandonment issues and realized the damage that was caused from my childhood. I never threw it in his face and have always been respectful… I had a very hard conversation with him 1 month ago. I told him that I was scared he was going to die and that I couldn’t be around to watch it happen. I told him he has a whole family that loves him and I will do anything necessary for him to get treatment. I told him that he’s lied and manipulated too long. He denied using drugs and said he was sorry I was struggling. I told him I could not have a relationship with him. I mourned him. I cried harder and longer than I have in my life. After about a week I felt a lot of peace. Fast forward to today, he called me and told me he went into a 7 day detox center. My brother and I spoke earlier and the stories didn’t match up, so I told him I didn’t believe him. The conversation ended up blowing up. I yelled and he asked who I was“-
-Based on all that I read and quoted above, I am sure that I can answer his question (which I boldfaced) and wish that he didn’t need to ask it, that he too knew for sure who you are, and who you’ve been your whole life: you have always been the girl who loves her father more than anyone and anything. You did everything within your power to help him from the beginning of your life… that’s four decades of pure and unconditional love.
But a child’s love is too often dismissed by a parent, being not enough to be happy with, not enough to find comfort in and rest in. Not enough to motivate the parent to change for his child’s sake, and his own. So, he, your father, kept seeking comfort in drugs, and in other people, while hurting and harming the one who loved him purely and unconditionally.
“I told him to not contact me. He hung up on me. I’ve never in life yelled or cussed at my dad. I’m angry. I’m sick of being lied to, but I’m disappointed that I lost control in that moment…I can’t accept the lies and manipulation. I feel lost and questioning if I’m wrong for blowing up.”-
– congratulations for finally yelling at the man who betrayed your love, and for so long; congratulations for finally blowing up at the man who deserves it, the man who hurt you more than any man, and probably more than any person has hurt you directly.
Back to your update of July 20, 2022, on the romantic relationship at the time: “I got out of this relationship and it was and still is the best decision I have ever made. Things are so much clearer when you are outside of a situation… I love the fact that no one send ‘leave him’ because that really never works! Lol we don’t leave, not until we are ready to.“-
– I will not tell you to leave or remain in no contact with your father, but I hope that you are ready to no longer have him in your life, and that no contact will soon lead to things being so much clearer in your mind and heart.
Back to what you wrote on Jan 11, 2018, in regard to your romantic relationship at the time: ” I’m just confused if I should continue or just give up….I love him very much and he does add value to my life. All my friends and family tell me to leave him, that I can do much better and that people never change. I don’t believe that.. people do change if they really want to, but how many chances should one give?“-
– transferring this to your relationship with your father, I think that the value this man (your father) had in your life as a child was the HOPE for love and stability in your then turbulent, scary life. It was a precious hope that made it possible for you to survive and thrive (as much as you did thrive) as a child. Now, at 41, it’s time to give up on that hope.
Separate who your father is and has been from whom you desperately needed him to be. People often don’t change even if, from time to time, they want to change.
There is no more positive value to the hope that he will change and give you what you needed as a child because you are no longer a child, a child whose very survival (so the child feels/ believes, instinctually) depends on her parents being alive and well enough to take care of their dependent child.
May your hope be elsewhere, a new hope.
anita
February 19, 2024 at 7:28 am in reply to: Recently broke up with my boyfriend, feeling guilty and sad #427909anitaParticipantDear alette:
I understand how disturbed you are over his unwillingness to communicate with you.. It never happened before that he refused to communicate with you, that he avoided talking about certain topics, stonewalling you, like he is currently doing? Do you know of him stonewalling other people in his life? I am trying to understand if this is a brand new behavior on his part.
anita
-
AuthorPosts
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 