How about taking a long hot shower, Going Through Life? Or a hot bath..?

Dear Going Through Life:

You called her for comfort during panic attacks and she shouted at you and threatened you.. I am so sorry, Going Through Life! You deserve gentleness and understanding.

Maybe she is incapable.. maybe she feels harassed.

I fully support you in moving on. She’s not the one for you!

When you experience a panic attack, what might help?

There are pharmaceutical and therapeutic professional treatments, as well as self-help advice that’s available online.

🤍🌿 Anita

You are welcome, Omyk. I wonder if Copilot (the AI I use), or another conversationalist AI, can help you in regard to all that you are dealing with. It’s been a great help to me.

🤍🌿 Anita

This metaphor is beautiful—thank you, Trav, for sharing it. I’ll be looking for my ladders today 🪜🌿🕊️, Anita

Dear Omyk:

Glad you resurfaced, but sorry you’re feeling very lost and overtired. I hope that you find rest being alone in nature and that things get better for you, including your relationship with your daughter.

Please take good care of yourself!

🤍🌿 Anita

Dear Going Through Life:

Is it possible that you are interested in her now partly because she said that she lost feelings for you, that is it’s a challenge to get her to recover the old feelings?

As far as the fear of being alone, I wonder if you relate a bit to my past fear of being with another person for too long, as in getting stuck with the person and wanting out, finding safety in being alone.. and then after being alone for too long, seeking togetherness and then.. repeat..?

🌿🤍 Anita

Dear Milda:

“Deep down I feel the worst daughter, because I decided to step away from parents and do not communicate with them/visit them for a while… I would really appreciate your thoughts on that feeling. How can I navigate through it in a healthy way. This is a very complicated state of mind, state of being actually.”-

A child needs the parent’s approval, and when the parent is repeatedly rejecting, shaming and/ or guilt-tripping the child, that natural need for approval becomes a desperate need. It takes center stage and everything else is put off for another time in the future when approval is finally given. This has been my experience. I put my life on hold for decades, waiting for my mother’s approval, not even knowing that I was still waiting and waiting.

I am no longer waiting for her approval.. and (it feels miraculous), she is no longer center stage in my life, I am. Finally!

To reclaim center stage in your life, go back and take the hand of Milda-the-child who is still stuck waiting for that approval and bring her home. Give her a safe place in your heart, to be and to become more and more of who she already is.

“Throw away old dictionary and start a new one about what is a good daughter, a bad one, what is a good mother, a bad one. This will be my homework. I think this exercise would help me in a road of unconditional love to myself.”- I would love to read your homework if you share it, when you do.

“My interpretations and gut feeling was silenced by me, silenced by scared, small me, because I had to survive and listening to those interpretations would not help me survive, so I silenced them. The bloody work now is to give a voice for those interpretations, they still scare me a lot, I still do not know what to do with them..”-

I think that it’s the child’s desperate need for the parent’s approval that puts off everything for a later time, including one own thinking, interpreting and feeling.

You know that as an adult, if you are practically able to survive without your parents, their approval is not necessary. It’s just that the child within you doesn’t know it yet..?

🌿 🤍 Anita