Later evening Stream of Consciousness:

The rain stopped, completely gone, for now.

Still no anger within me. I am trying to avail myself to anger as I type, thinking about my mother, about others who abused me.

No anger.

Maybe, probably because I legitimized my anger, giving it due respect.

So, now that I am not being abused, well.. No Anger.

No Anger.

My Desire is real: to help, to make the world a better place, in whatever small way I can.

So, if you are reading, if you are reading and I don’t know who you are- please tell me. Please tell me your story because you matter. Don’t be silent. Please Speak. I want to hear you.

For the longest time, I was Silent because, as far as I knew, there was no one, no where to hear me. no one who cared to hear me.

If you feel as insignificant as I felt, for so long, please speak here. Please speak to me.

anita

They call it weakness—yet don’t they see?
Courage lives in vulnerability.
To stand exposed, with truth in hand,
Is braver still than armor planned.

You bend like branches in the storm,
Yet in that bend, a strength is born.
A heart that breaks, then mends anew—
Holds wisdom far beyond the view.

So wear your softness like the sky,
Unfold your wings and dare to fly.
For in your openness, you shine—
And that is power, vast, divine.🔥

anita

Early afternoon Stream of Consciousness:

Today, I want to transcend my lifelong guilt and discomfort in regard to FEELING anger and about expressing it in any way, however non- abusively. I think that my anger persisted simply because it was rejected by me. Encouraged by Alessa’s and Peter’s posts right above, I want t embrace my anger, to welcome it home:

Dear Anger:

I am so sorry for rejecting you decade after decade, for labeling you BAD when you were never bad. You were justified, you always carried a positive message: to help me, and to help others, to promote what is right and fair and just, 😊🙏✨💖 anger!

I understand that now that I accept and embrace you, you can relax your hold on past events.

We can let go of what happened on the other thread, page 3 of its current 8 pages..?

Yes, anger, I understand, and I fully agree with you: I was clearly disrespected, dismissed and accused of what I was not guilty of. It was indeed unfair to me and it was uncalled for. The offender did not apologize ever since, likely not seeing herself as the offender on that day. But it’s time to let go. There will always be people who will not take responsibility for the harmful effect of their words and actions. No point in endlessly waiting for them to acknowledge responsibility.

All I can and should do is be to others what I wish others would be to me; responsible, accountable, part of what is good: Loving-kindness (Metta)- focusing on compassion and patience, Wisdom (Paññā)- seeing things clearly, and Generosity (Dāna).

anita

Dear Alessa, Peter, Everyone:

Your post, Alessa, encouraged me to research and come to this understanding: Buddhism teaches that three negative qualities—aversion (hatred), delusion (ignorance), and attachment (greed)—cause suffering. These are called the three unwholesome roots because they lead to bad karma, meaning negative consequences in life.

To counter these, Buddhism encourages practicing their opposites:

* Loving-kindness (Metta) to replace hatred—showing compassion and patience instead of anger.

* Wisdom (Paññā) to replace ignorance—learning and seeing things clearly instead of being confused.

* Generosity (Dāna) to replace greed—sharing and letting go instead of clinging to things.

By focusing on kindness, wisdom, and generosity, a person creates good karma, leading to a more peaceful and fulfilling life.

Karma is the idea that our actions, thoughts, and intentions shape our future experiences. If we act with kindness and honesty, we create good karma, which brings positive results. If we act with anger or selfishness, we create bad karma, which leads to suffering.

Buddhism teaches that even our mental states—like joy, compassion, or anger—affect karma. Positive emotions bring good karma, while negative emotions bring bad karma. This is why Buddhism encourages mindfulness and self-awareness, so we can shape our thoughts in a way that leads to happiness.

*** Anger 😠🔥, in Buddhism, is generally seen as harmful because it leads to suffering. It is one of the three poisons that cloud the mind and cause negative karma. However, Buddhism does not say that anger itself is evil—it recognizes that anger is a natural human emotion. The key is how we handle it.

Uncontrolled anger leads to harm, both to ourselves and others. It can make us act in ways we regret.

Mindful anger can be useful if it motivates us to stand up against injustice or protect ourselves and others. Some Buddhist traditions teach that anger can be transformed into determination and wisdom, helping us take positive action instead of reacting destructively.

Buddhism does not teach that a person should submit to abuse for the sake of peace. While Buddhism values non-violence and compassion, it also teaches self-respect and wisdom.

The Buddha taught that suffering should not be accepted passively—instead, we should seek understanding and solutions.

If someone is being abused, Buddhism encourages them to protect themselves and seek help rather than endure harm. Forgiveness is important, but it does not mean allowing abuse to continue. True peace comes from ending suffering, not accepting mistreatment.

Thank you, Alessa!

I see surrender as a central theme in your post—one that reflects strength and acceptance rather than passive defeat. You highlight that true surrender requires resilience and trust, much like a tree standing firm in a storm.

What Can We Trust?

Trust in life itself—its cycles, changes, and unknowns. Having faith in life’s unfolding, even when we can’t control the outcome. Knowing that everything evolves, and that pain and loss, too, will transform into something new.

Trust in inner strength—believing in our ability to endure struggles and emerge wiser.

Trust in meaning—recognizing that even grief and loss carry significance, shaping us, teaching us, and deepening our appreciation for what remains.

Your maple tree metaphor beautifully illustrates that surrender isn’t passive—it’s an act of allowing rather than resisting the natural flow of life. Instead of clinging in fear, surrender enables us to engage with change rather than be crushed by it.

Your closing thought—“It takes strength to know what is ours and what isn’t—surrendering to the Yes”—captures this idea perfectly. Surrender isn’t about losing control; it’s about choosing where to focus our energy, recognizing what is meant to be embraced and what must be let go.

To surrender is to embrace change, and to embrace our emotions, rather than suppress them. Even the most difficult emotions hold valuable insights and should be honored, not rejected. In doing so, we affirm our strength and awareness, allowing us to make choices that align with our values and growth.

Thank you, Peter!

anita

Sunday Evening stream-of-Consciousness Writing: I can’t save others. I can only save myself, if I can. Can I?

The world is so very messed up that no way do I have the power to fix it.

Am I being negative or just realistic.

Realistic, I think.

So, what am I to do?

To tell you that I love you so.

Wait, what.. what did you just say?

Love. This is what it’s all about. Loving you and you loving me back.

It’s about me being 100% worthy of your trust, your love.

There is no Love without Trust.

Who is saying this?

Me.

Here, I am typing these words. Who is reading? Who is listening? Who cares?

anita

Dear Alessa:

I will reply further in the morning, but for now: I have this feeling that something is wrong: it’s been days since ALL the Original Posts in ALL of the threads since the start of the forums in 2013, all have disappeared. When a new member recently started her own thread, her original post did not show up. There was no notification or update from the website about this.. so, this is very strange.

anita