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anitaParticipantHey Confused:
I will check her out tomorrow!
That you were never treated so lovingly before- explains to me why the overwhelm and shutdown happened.. too much of a good thing!
I mean, if you grow up with too little of a good thing (love, consistency) and too much of a bad thing (violence, chaos), you adjust to it best you can.
Makes sense?
🤔 Anita
March 30, 2026 at 7:18 pm in reply to: On Purpise and Shame- what is my purpose? What is yours? #456466anitaParticipant* On purpose
anitaParticipantHey 👋 Confused:
I will look up Paulin Timmer tomorrow when I have the use of a 🖥
That feeling that something is missing or is not enough is a classic symptom of OCD. I am beginning to think that you may have what is called “pure OCD”, meaning the compulsions are mental (checing and re- checking what you’re feeling).
I am far from being a doctor or a professional in mental health, but maybe it’ll help you to look up “pure OCD”. There are online communities of the pure-ocd-ed and you might find commonality there, even answers.
From all that you shared over the last few months, she sounds like a lovely young woman who really likes 👍 you!
🍃🤍 Anita
anitaParticipantWell, Confused, it happened before that you felt nothing before or in the beginning of a videocall but then ended up laughing and having a good time during the call (“We ended up video-calling for 7 hours straight. We laughed a lot”, yesterday).. so?
anitaParticipantHey dear Contradictorily Confused, Confused (CCC):
May the dopamine- fused confusion, contradictions; bewilderment, perplexity and puzzlement be replaced with certainty, clarity, coherence (CCC), focus, and lucidity.
🌪️ 😵💫 🔥 ⚡💥😖 ==> ✨ 🌿 🌙 💡 🕊️ 🌼 Anita
anitaParticipantedit:be as good to you as you would be to her
anitaParticipantHi Kelly:
At the end of my last message to you I wrote that you don’t have to make big decisions right now. I want to elaborate on it this morning:
Making big decisions, like marriage and a much bigger decision, having children, is not something a person who’s already stressed and overwhelmed should think about.
The most important thing is for you, at this time, to minimize stress in your life.
Having mentioned children: imagine you had a stressed and overwhelmed little girl: would you pressure her to feel any particular way or do what would stress her even more?
I am guessing you won’t and that you’ll do your best to calm and soothe her- because you’d love her and have her best interest in heart.
Please 🙏 be as good to you as you. You matter.
🍃 🤍 Anita
anitaParticipantGood morning, Miss L Dutchess:
You wrote yesterday, “I’m trying to not compare myself to others”- I have a comment on this, hoping it might be of some help:
If comparing yourself negatively to others is a mental habit by this point (if it’s where your mind goes naturally,) it would take time and practice to lessen and then stop this habit.
Mental habits, like many physical habits, are difficult (but possible) to break.
So, when you find yourself negatively comparing yourself to others.. (yet again), if you notice being critical of yourself (another mental habit), shift your thinking, if you will, to:
Comparing yourself positively to others, finding something you appreciate about yourself that many other people are lacking, and give yourself a mental hug for it.
If you do this regularly, you might develop a new mental habit to replace the old 🙂
🍃 🤍 Anita
anitaParticipant* edit: M-26
anitaParticipantHello again, SereneWolf 🙂
It is interesting to me that your first post yesterday ends with “I kind of do start to feel hopeless.”, while your first sentence- in your very first post on tiny buddha (September 22, 2022) was:
“Hi M-27 here, I kinda feel a little hopeless.”
It’s understandable to feel hopeless when you’re unemployed repeatedly or for a long time, or when watching the world being in so much trouble.
The attitude and practice I find helpful when it comes to the anxiety and hopelessness about things I cannot change is to (1) focus on what I can change, and (2) find comfort in people around me, exchange bits of genuine affection and care.
To not be Alone- emotionally (as you probably know, you can feel alone even when you’re surrounded by people).
The words of a 🎵 just came to mind: “All you need is love”. Of course, you need money, health, a routine of some kind, etc., but love (affection, care, and the T word: trust) is irreplaceable.
Currently, as I am typing into my 📱, my new affectionate, caring and trustworthy 🐕 is lying on my lap, so.. I know something about love 🙂
How are you in the context of love?
🤍 Anita
anitaParticipantWell, Confused.. it does look- to me- like a drug addiction, chasing a feeling.
Chasing a feeling never ends well, as far as I know.
The feeling you’ve been chasing must have been really GOOD-
How many drug addicts, millions, are hooked on a once WONDERFUL feeling, living in tents, under 🌉 bridges, homeless?
🌉 Anita
anitaParticipantThat’s what drugs’ll do to you. The chase for a high ends with a low, and the more of a high you chase, the more of a low you get.
.. so, are you.. a drug addict- like.. Confused😕?
🐇 Anita
anitaParticipantHey SereneWolf:
Tee posted last on Jan 17 this year, 2026, and last time she responded to you, right here on your thread, was on Nov 7 last year, 4 months and 22 days ago.
I hope Tee is okay. I miss reading from Tee (Hi Tee, if you’re reading this- I’ve missed you!)
In a few weeks you’ll be turning 30, SereneWolf, why.. you’re just a pup 🐶 like the saying goes.
Things weren’t easy for me when I was your age, my goodness.. 35 years ago, oohh.. I am old.
Don’t be too old before your time, SereneWolf!
🐶🌙🍃 Anita
anitaParticipant“But it’s like u tasted something good and now you want it back”-
Like tasting a drug, experiencing a high, and then losing that high and wanting it back.
It just doesn’t work, chasing a “high”- that’s what’s behind millions of people taking drugs, trying to recapture a “high”.
You know how that chase ends up, right?
🦁🐇🌙 Anita
anitaParticipantThank you, Miss L Dutchess for responding to my last post. I appreciate it. Taking things one day at a time is what I do 🙂
🍃🤍 Anita
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 