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anitaParticipantHey Confused:
A medical doctor, a psychiatrist, saw you for the first time in his life, for TWENTY minutes only, and following a conversation of about 10-15 minutes, diagnosed you with psychosis?
And bipolar disorder?
All in 10-15 min conversation?
π Anita
February 24, 2026 at 2:30 pm in reply to: growing up – becoming adul / procrastination – in connection to childhood trauma #455452
anitaParticipantDear Robi:
I’m looking forward to reading and replying Wed morning. I hope you sleep π΄ well (after midnight, your time).
π€ Anita
anitaParticipantDear Confused: I will read and reply later this evening or in the morning.
π Anita
anitaParticipantDear Thomas:
I’ll respect π your suggestion to not derail this thread, so I’ll close with saying that yes, music does indeed touch a person somewhere near the heart.
I guess songs π΅ get stuck in you, Thomas, because you have a big heart, lots of heart space for songs to touch and stick to.
π΅π€πΆ Anita
anitaParticipantDear Mollie:
You are very kind and gracious π. Looking back, I wrote TOO MUCH in my last post (the “study”). I need to write less, in general, especially when it comes to other people’s childhoods and relationships with parents/ family.
It’s nice to read that you feel love and gratitude for your parents. Talking about love, my tattoo consists of 5 letters: ALULA.
What it means is “I love you”, which is what my nephew tried to say to me when he was a toddler. What came out was Alula, and ever since then, 30+ years later, whenever I talk to him on the phone (he lives in another country), I tell him Alula.
You asked me to tell you more about myself, so I will- tomorrow morning when I have the use of a computer.
Take care and again thank you for being appreciative and kind. ππ
π€ Anita
February 24, 2026 at 9:40 am in reply to: growing up – becoming adul / procrastination – in connection to childhood trauma #455439
anitaParticipantDear Robi:
How did the interview go? I understand your heart not being in it because you’re not at all sure about your girlfriend.
I hope to hear back from you soon!
β²οΈ Anita
anitaParticipantGood π Confused:
Sounds to me that you’re idealizing her (“her heart is pure”) and you’re idealizing the relationship in the past (seeing it now better than it really was).
And part of you wants to stay there, in that idealized version of reality rather than experience real life here and now.
What do you think, any truth to my perception this π?
π Anita
anitaParticipantDear Thomas (Morning, not tipsy π)
It sounds like your mind has been very loud lately and youβre doing your best to find quiet, even when it’s difficult.
Itβs okay that the songs come and go. Itβs okay that life feels heavy sometimes. Youβre carrying a lot β your family, your responsibilities, your thoughts β and anyone would feel worn down at times.
But thereβs still a calm place inside you, the part you call the watcher. That part is not gone. Itβs still there, even on the noisy days.
The Watcher ποΈ: the part of you that notices what your mind is doing β the songs, the thoughts, the worries β without getting pulled into them. The watcher doesnβt fight the mind. It just sees it, like someone sitting quietly on a porch, watching clouds βοΈ βοΈ βοΈ pass by. The thoughts come.. the thoughts go.. and the watcher stays the same. Quiet. Unmoving.
That part of you hasnβt gone anywhere, even on the noisy days. Itβs still there, underneath everything. Youβre doing your best, Thomas. And itβs enough.
βοΈππ€Anita
anitaParticipantDear Thomas:
The Sounds of Silence π playing βΆοΈ loud in your mind?
Songs π΅ get stuck?
I know the experience, the feeling: into the night π, Right now, I am hearing the Doobie Brothers’s “Without Love Where would you be Now?”
Without Love.. where would you be right now?
You’re not alone, Thomas, getting stuck in music, there’s so much to us.
I become the music πΆ I never dared to sing, the movement I never dared to dance πΊ πΆ
“You know how I feel .. and I’m feeling good” (don’t know who’s singing).
Parts of me is being heard by someone else’s singing.
“You need me, call me, I’ll be there in a hurry” (Diana Ross)
It really doesn’t matter, it’s the Singer within, the Dancer within, that comes alive.
Last I danced πΊ was late last year, I did to live music, after a couple of glasses of π· – it was beautiful.
When’s the last time you danced. Thomas?
I am not dancing now, but I’m drinking π· and listening πΆ to old music.
An old woman listening to old music and feeling Young and Alive. Isn’t it the point. Thomas?
To experience Youth at No Matter What Age?
Please π feel free to ignore all of this post. Thomas. I’m tipsy π€ͺ and young.
“And if you want it, you got it… Maybe tonight… Let the music… ” (Marvin Gay.. Who was shot by his father).
What is it, this Youth refusing to succumb to Old age, Thomas?
“I’m so in love with you, whatever you want to do is Allright with me” ( reverend Green) “the good and bad, the happy and sad… you… baby… together… Let’s stay together…”
“I don’t care what they say… about anything they say, but being with you… I don’t care about anything else but being with you… one thing I know for sure”-
What would that be, Thomas, what do we know for sure?
For me, the answer is.. know for sure, I AM YOUNG, right now, tonight. I AM Y.O.U.N.G.
“I heard it through the grapevine and I’m about to lose my mind… Honey π―..”
“Stop, in the name of love before you break my heart… STOP in the name of love”
The name of love has no age. 16 can be depressed. 61 can COME ALIVE.. Just like that.
Strange, how at 60+ I am younger than 16.
π€ͺπΆπ΅β¨οΈ Anita
anitaParticipantHey π Dear Confused:
I’ll be interested to hear (read) what the psychiatrist would say in regard to ROCD and Zoloft.
And you’re right: better to not self diagnose- that’s the job of a responsible professional.
Numb to the present, crying for the past- it’s a trap, a prison of sorts? Imprisoned in the past?
And breaking free from that prison would mean.. ?
π Anita
anitaParticipantDear Caroline, unforgettable Caroline:
July 1, 2024 is when you posted last. 1 year, 7 months and 22 days ago. I wish π€ to read from you again.
π Anita
anitaParticipantDear Stacy:
Jan 19, 2025 is the last time β²οΈ you posted, 1 year, 1 month and 4 days ago.
It’d be so special reading from you again π
π€ Anita
February 23, 2026 at 5:23 pm in reply to: growing up – becoming adul / procrastination – in connection to childhood trauma #455419
anitaParticipantDear Robi:
Interesting, you started this thread on Feb 18, 2024 and we talked on Feb 23, exactly 2 years ago. On this day (2 years ago), you got a job interview in Spain for March of that year.
Not very long ago, really.
As to what you shared today (Mon night, your time), I can understand your frustration in regard to your girlfriend. You wrote something to the effect that you’re exhausted and may not make sense, but truly, to me, you make perfect sense. The way you present the conflicts with her sounds fair to her, objective, seeing π both sides’ validity.
As I π it (I’m using my π±, and when I do, all these emojis show up and I can’t help but click on them, and sometimes I ask for them), the fact that (it seems to me), she’s enmeshed, or emotionally fused with her mother, is a big problem because it means that.. if you choose the daughter, you also choose the mother π± ?
Is she at all troubled by her emotional dependence/ enmeshment with her mother?
Of course, ongoing arguments π are not considered the basis of a healthy relationship.
I am curious about what an argument π€ between the 2 of you looks like, like who starts it, what does she say, what do you say.. and I wonder: in what specific, concrete ways do you need her to be invested in you (which she is not)? Is it that she’s not willing to pay all of the rent until you are able to contribute?
And I understand you may be too exhausted π© to answer this.
Which brings me to the thought π€ that a relationship should Energize π, not Exhaust.
Hope to read from you soon enough. I wish π€ you Clarity and the Energy π that accompanies clarity.
π±πππ Anita
anitaParticipantDear Confused:
The 24/7 rumination brings me back to what I shared with you much earlier: that I was diagnosed with OCD and was prescribed with Zoloft (it’s the brand name of an SSRI drug, forgot the generic name) for OCD and it helped me A LOT.
Of course, what worked for me may not work for someone else. (and I don’t know if your rumination is OCD). If you do see a psychiatrist soon, maybe explore this possibility.
Coming to think π€ about it, you’re numb to life as it is (the present) but emotional over the past. So, you do feel intensely π’ about what WAS. Numb for what IS. Did I get it right?
π€ Anita
anitaParticipantHello Debbie π
I love how you describe the meaning behind each piece β especially the rings from your mother and grandmother. Itβs beautiful how objects can hold memories and intention.
Iβm not wearing intentional jewelry right now, but I really enjoy hearing the stories behind what others choose and what those items mean to them.
π€ Anita
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