“that I hold something fragile”- I know the answer is right here, or should I say, the core of the answer.

What’s fragile in you, Confused? What are you afraid might break?

When you realized “things were getting more serious”, you felt that .. ??

Redefine “love”?

Love is not arguing, fighting, causing hurt, being hurt

Love is being calm, helping, not hurting.

Too many people, too many mothers are not capable of loving. They have moments of feeling and expressing affection within a continuum of hurting and harming.

The moments of affection are not love when harm keeps being perpetrated against the “loved one”

Not wanting to escape the feelings that you liked so much, I am thinking, but wanting (subconsciously) to escape feelings you wouldn’t like AT ALL, like what shows up on the other side of love (what you experienced as a child, the arguing, the violence)?

Remember you said that you don’t remember if you dissociated as a child ((I think you said it early on, Dec 19)?

Well, my guess is that you did like any child would, and you “forgot” how badly it felt when love (your mother’s affection) turned into arguing and violence.

And what you’re trying to escape is not love and affection but what followed it, in your early, real-life experience.

🤔 Anita

Hey Confused:

I wasn’t thinking that you used her as an escape. I was thinking that the fact that it was a LDR was an escape from the stress a close physical proximity relationship would have caused.

Coming to think 🤔 about it.. is the shutdown an escape in itself?

Escape from feelings?

I have no doubt the two of you had genuinely loving exchanges.

🤔 (I love this emoji, lol) Anita

Dear Alessa:

You are welcome and thank you 🙏 🤍

Last evening I prepared a turkey lunch meat sandwich for myself, with lots of turkey, had it at the edge of the kitchen counter for a moment. Bogart managed to get to it and eat it all before I could stop him. After that, later at night, he went number 2 in the bathroom, diarrhea style. Is it because of the turkey lunch meat?

I’ve been sharing with him (voluntarily) a bit of my lunches, human food, every day, mixed it with his dog food for flavor. I didn’t today because I’m wondering if it’s unhealthy for him.. ?

Up to 6 months, at the breeder’s where he was raised), he nursed on his mother’s milk and then on dry dog food, that and nothing else. So, I am wondering if human food is unhealthy for him?

I agree with what you said. The principle of Do-No-Harm comes to mind.

I hope you have a good night. It’s just after noon here, raining, but have to take Bogart on a longer walk (than this morning’s tiny walk).

🤍 Anita

Dear Kay:

Little chance you are reading this. You posted here last when you were 18. Now, you are 30.

How are you?

🤍 Anita