You are welcome, Martha and thank you for replying to me.

Good to read that you are now free to move forward and forget new friendships. Anytime you’d like to start your own thread about searching for the pebbles and finding your way back, please do. I would love to read more from you and share with you about my searching for pebbles ➡️🌾🚶

🤍✨Anita

Dear Alessa:

I am glad Bogart made it through the surgery, yet it’s difficult to watch him being so uncomfortable with his “cone of shame”. He bumps into things and his head is often low.

He was hungry enough to eat 2 bowls of kibble (I was told to give him no human food).

He’s not acting like himself, the Anastasia is part of it and still need to give him pain killers.

I asked again and again if this surgery was necessary. I miss his usual self.

Told he has to keep the cone of shame for 10 days, Tues (today, Feb 3)- Friday (Feb 13), such a long time.

😟 Anita

Hi again, Lulu:

Reads like you care a lot about your boyfriend and that he is fortunate to have you in his life 🙂 .

Your boyfriend and I have a few things in common: his only parent, as you said, was his father (his mother was in prison). My only parent was my mother (my parents divorced when I was very young and my father had his own life, new wife and kids).

Your boyfriend remembers his father humiliating him and talking to him about gross sexual topics, and so did my mother.

Your boyfriend suspects SA (overt sexual acts) by his father and had dreams of such but doesn’t remember (overt) sexual acts done to him by his father, and same was true for me. My mother talked about gross sexual topics to me and to others, in my presence.

I suspected SA by my mother, felt it to be true but didn’t have memory of overt sexual acts done to me by her.

What I figure happened in my case, looking back, is that my mother acted inappropriately with me, the sexual talk for one, also showering me when I was a teenager 😳 even though I was very ashamed, traumatized really, by the showering ( she said I couldn’t wash myself well).

Those experienced traumatized me enough 😔 that it felt as if there were overt sexual acts that I couldn’t remember.

I thought I’d share this commonality, which is not to say that my conclusion about what happened to me is true to your boyfriend. But maybe..?

Anita

Dear Dave:

Reading your update makes my day 🙏 🙂

Your message is rich with emotional clarity and grounded maturity — it’s rare (and my first time witnessing it) to see someone navigate a difficult transition with this much respect, steadiness, and genuine care for everyone involved.

The way you and your ex are co‑parenting, communicating, and choosing grace over conflict says a lot about your values. And it’s lovely to read that you’re feeling hopeful again and connecting with someone new who brings light into your life.

I’m really glad to hear you’re in a good place and moving forward with so much intention 🤍✨🙏 🌿

Whenever you feel like sharing more — the good, the messy, or anything in between — I’m here.

🤍 Anita

Good Morning, Confused:

As I understand it, you’re asking whether your emotional numbness is coming from inside you or whether the relationship stress is causing you to shut down emotionally. In other words, you’re asking (paraphrased):

‘Is something wrong with me, or is this situation draining me so much that I feel numb?’ and ‘Will leaving this situation help me feel like myself again?’

Ending the LDR might relieve some of the emotional strain you’re under because it’ll remove a source of confusion, inconsistency, and emotional instability — and that alone can create enough breathing room for you to feel more grounded again.

When someone is caught in a dynamic with another person that repeatedly activates uncertainty, self‑doubt, and emotional turbulence (and emotional shutdown), stepping out of that dynamic often brings clarity, steadiness, and a return to baseline (how you were before).

Removing the source of emotional turbulence often helps people reconnect with themselves. It doesn’t “fix” the person — it simply stops the bleeding so that the person can heal (with professional help as needed).

🤍 Anita

Roberta, I hope this f. talk is okay with you, being that this is your thread (and your very first thread since you signed in to the forums on April 2, 2022)..?

Okay, I am moved to answer “What is expected if one needs to fart”, “in a room where people sit to meditate” 🧘‍♂️ 🧘‍♂️ 🧘‍♀️ 🧘‍♂️ 🧘‍♂️ 🧘‍♀️

Before I continue, let me see 👀 if there’s such a thing as a fart emoji.. No! How disappointing 😞.

Let me look for anything close to it.. ⛽️ is all I am getting.

Back to the question. I am giving this deep thought 🤔 I wonder if the meditating people can discuss and agree on what to do ahead of time?

I mean bring it to the open so that individuals don’t struggle with the dilemma individually. Just make it a group decision.

Also, agree on foods to eat and foods not to eat before meditation. Also, there’re tablets available over the counter to prevent smelly parts. I mean farts (I’m using my number phone 📱)

Oh, of course, meditating rooms can be ventilated, and there are air purifiers that neutralize bad smells.

The above was my best 👌 attempt to answer your question, Thomas.

🤔 ⛽️ 👀 😷 🤔 Anita