Good morning, Confused:

About dorsal vagal shutdown in general, and in the simplest language:

When stress feels too big 🔥, the nervous system hits a kind of internal “off switch” to protect you (from a having a dangerously high heart 🫀, for one), and instead of Fight‑or‑Flight (fighting or running), the body goes into Freeze.

It’s not a choice, a personality trait, or laziness — it’s a built‑in biological response.

People describe it as feeling numb, disconnected, checked out, going blank, feeling heavy, slow, or foggy, feeling very tired, low‑energy, having trouble thinking, speaking, or caring about things.

It’s your body telling you: “This is too much for me to process at full intensity, so I’m going to dim the lights.”, or “We’re going to slow everything down, so you don’t break.”

Imagine a car going downhill with failing brakes. Dorsal vagal shutdown is the emergency brake that prevents a crash.

Or imagine a computer that’s overheating. Instead of letting the system fry itself, it goes into safe mode. Dorsal vagal shutdown is your nervous system’s version of safe mode.

It’s not ideal, but it’s protective.

It’s possible that you grew up shut- downed in this way (that’s why you remember so little about the time you were younger than 17), you then recovered somewhat but in Nov last year the early shutdown was reactivated. Maybe you are feeling now like you used to feel when you were a kid.

* I grew up heavily shut down, spaced out, hardly aware of the outside world (not seeing 😶‍🌫️ or hearing 🔇 what’s in front of me, not understanding what people were saying, etc., my brain filtering out most input), but sometimes, normal noises felt unbearably loud 🔊, light felt too intense, smells felt unbearable, certain clothing felt unbearably uncomfortable..

My brain was filtering out most input, but the input that broke through felt too strong.

It’s like having the volume turned down to 2… but every now and then something blasts at 10.

Does this resonate?

🤔 Anita

Dear Like-(the)-Night-Confused (LNC):

Yes, we talked about Dorsal Vagal Shutdown. I brought it up to you some time ago because that seemed fitting to what you’ve been going through.

Too much emotion=> Overwhelm 😱 => 😐

It makes me feel nice, the idea 💡 of the two of you living in Cyprus.. Just the romantic-by proxy part of me.

😱 😐 🙂 Anita

* Does she plan to go back to Cyprus

The Stone and the Sky:

A monk once asked the master, “Why is peace so hard to find?”

The master picked up a small stone and placed it in the monk’s hand.

“Feel how heavy it is,” he said.

The monk nodded.

Then the master pointed to the sky. “How heavy is that?”

The monk looked up. “It has no weight at all.”

The master smiled. “Peace is like the sky. Your thoughts are like the stone.”

The monk frowned. “So, I must throw the stone away?”

The master shook his head. “No. Just stop gripping it so tightly.”

The monk opened his hand. The stone rested there, unchanged. But his fingers were no longer clenched.

The master said, “Peace is not the absence of stones. It is the absence of gripping.”

Good 🌄 Confused:

You wrote earlier:

“So you mean let them be and pay no attention to them? Rather act on logic/values?”-

I would say: do pay attention to your feelings. Accept them without judgment. Welcome them into your home (your body and mind) without harrassing them with logic and values.

Keep the Logic-Values Guards (LVGs)💂‍♀️ 💂‍♀️ out so that your feelings don’t get harrassed (leading to your feelings getting scared and hiding much of the time).

These guards have a place in the context of what you communicate to other people (through words & actions)

They have no place in context of what you feel internally.

In yet other words, you are not a good person because you feel A and B, and you’re not a bad person for feeling X and Y.

What you feel internally is your private domain. Your business. You don’t owe anyone to feel this or that for them.

Keep the guards 💂‍♀️ 💂‍♂️ out of your private domain. They don’t belong there.

🔮 Anita

Double posting, ha- ha.

Yes, consider a different relationship with those.. wild animals. They don’t listen to “logic/ values”- ..

Your own “wild animals”, 😜 (that emoji just showed up as I typed)-

Tell me about them. If you give them a voice, what do they say (or bark, or howl)?

👿😎 Anita

What an original question, Confused: “Why would they be wilding”?

Maybe the more you try to control them, the wilder they get?

Like, the more you self-doubt them, the angrier they get?

😠 😡 👿 … 🙂 Anita

* and it’s NOT wonderful anymore