Dear James:

Thank you for your words and for reminding me that sometimes truth can be difficult to hear, even when it is meant for our good. I appreciate your willingness to help and to speak with sincerity.

Your metaphor about the bird and the bullet is powerful—it reminds me that we cannot always resist what comes our way, but we can learn from it and grow stronger in how we respond.

Peace to you as well,

Anita

Dear James:

I appreciate the Sufi story you shared. My understanding of Sufi stories is that they are symbolic (not to be taken literally) and that exaggeration element is meant to make them memorable and forces reflection.

But the takeaway is not “go do this exact thing,” it’s “be willing to let go of pride and accept humility.” The master’s instruction wasn’t about humiliation, but about teaching the student the principle of letting go of pride and attachment to social image.

In that sense, the lesson is about humility rather than bluntness, isn’t it?

Peace, Anita

Hello Everyone:

James, Dec 2: “Dear Thomas, I am sorry, but you should stop lying to yourself. Best Regards”- This is the first moment where the tone shifts from a philosophical debate to something more personal. Calling someone a liar, even indirectly, can come across as rude or dismissive, because it questions the other person’s honesty rather than just their ideas.

Thomas, Dec 2: “Dear James, Sadly, I am sorry that you believe your own lies. Best regards”- so both of you at this point questioned each other’s honesty, but cloaked it in “Dear” and “Best regards”.

Fast forward 3 days, James, today: “Dear Thomas, As I told forget about me and what I do. Evaluate your life that are you happy or not.
There is path showing you, if you like walk or just talk. Peace.”- essentially saying stop focusing on me, look at yourself instead.

And Thomas replied: “Yes, I will do as you say. Take your advice. I will forget about you and what you do.”- mirroring James’s words but not bothering at this point with “Dear” and “Peace”.

Both of you, James and Thomas, talk about reducing ego, but your exchange shows how tricky that actually is in practice. I can see that both of you are genuinely trying to share your truth, but ego crept in..

James’s ego- at times, you slipped into judgment—telling Thomas he is “lying to himself” or “suffering.” That shows your ego is still involved, because you’re positioning yourself as the one who sees truth more clearly. Your words sometimes carried defensiveness, as if you needed to correct Thomas, even while signing off with “Peace.”

Thomas’s ego- you speak about enlightenment, emptiness, and dropping the mind, but in reality, you challenged James directly, sometimes dismissing his views (“you believe your own lies,” “show me your spirit”). That’s ego asserting itself—wanting to win the debate or prove superiority. Your ego shows up in confrontation and in the need to test or invalidate James’s perspective.

Overall- Both are aware of the ego and talk about minimizing it, yet both let ego slip into your words—through judgment, defensiveness, or dismissiveness.

In a way, your exchange is a perfect example of how ego hides inside even spiritual discussions: the moment we feel the need to prove, correct, or win, ego is at play.

If you truly want “as little ego as possible,” the path would be to share your views without labeling or judging the other—letting differences stand, and ending with genuine peace rather than peace mixed with dismissal.

James, you started the thread quoting Paramhansa Yogananda. Here are some quotes that could help you and Thomas to embody peace, instead of slipping into personal judgments:

“Kindness is the light that dissolves all walls between souls, families, and nations.”

“Change yourself and you have done your part in changing the world.”

“Let my soul smile through my heart and my heart smile through my eyes, that I may scatter rich smiles in sad hearts.”.

“Do your best and then relax. Let things go on in a natural way, rather than force them.”

The quote from Paramhansa Yogananda that stands out the most for me today is this one: “Freedom means the power to act by soul guidance, not by the compulsions of desires and habits. Obeying the soul brings freedom; obeying the ego brings bondage.”-

* Soul is a person’s eternal, timeless, indestructible identity, distinct from the ego, thoughts, and physical body. It is a fragment of God, or as Peter prefers, a fragment of The Source.

Peter: “When I think of ‘God’ as a verb, the word Flow comes to mind. We can resist what is, or we can lean into it with a kind of healthy detachment”.

James: “İf you are good (less ego) God shines trough you”.

This thread has helped me see more clearly what ego looks like in practice. My own resolution—perhaps a New Year’s resolution—is to minimize ego in every way possible. Thank you, James and Thomas, for making that lesson vivid.

🤍 Anita

Dear Q: I’m glad that you’re starting to genuinely feel a lot better. You are a good, kind person who deserves to feel good and not to suffer. Please post again anytime, I enjoy 😊 our conversations.

🤍 Anita