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anita

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Viewing 15 posts - 31 through 45 (of 5,816 total)
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  • in reply to: I just randomly and suddenly fell out of love #456224
    anita
    Participant

    Good morning, Confused:

    About dorsal vagal shutdown in general, and in the simplest language:

    When stress feels too big ๐Ÿ”ฅ, the nervous system hits a kind of internal โ€œoff switchโ€ to protect you (from a having a dangerously high heart ๐Ÿซ€, for one), and instead of Fightโ€‘orโ€‘Flight (fighting or running), the body goes into Freeze.

    Itโ€™s not a choice, a personality trait, or laziness โ€” itโ€™s a builtโ€‘in biological response.

    People describe it as feeling numb, disconnected, checked out, going blank, feeling heavy, slow, or foggy, feeling very tired, lowโ€‘energy, having trouble thinking, speaking, or caring about things.

    Itโ€™s your body telling you: โ€œThis is too much for me to process at full intensity, so Iโ€™m going to dim the lights.โ€, or โ€œWeโ€™re going to slow everything down, so you donโ€™t break.โ€

    Imagine a car going downhill with failing brakes. Dorsal vagal shutdown is the emergency brake that prevents a crash.

    Or imagine a computer thatโ€™s overheating. Instead of letting the system fry itself, it goes into safe mode. Dorsal vagal shutdown is your nervous systemโ€™s version of safe mode.

    Itโ€™s not ideal, but itโ€™s protective.

    It’s possible that you grew up shut- downed in this way (that’s why you remember so little about the time you were younger than 17), you then recovered somewhat but in Nov last year the early shutdown was reactivated. Maybe you are feeling now like you used to feel when you were a kid.

    * I grew up heavily shut down, spaced out, hardly aware of the outside world (not seeing ๐Ÿ˜ถโ€๐ŸŒซ๏ธ or hearing ๐Ÿ”‡ what’s in front of me, not understanding what people were saying, etc., my brain filtering out most input), but sometimes, normal noises felt unbearably loud ๐Ÿ”Š, light felt too intense, smells felt unbearable, certain clothing felt unbearably uncomfortable..

    My brain was filtering out most input, but the input that broke through felt too strong.

    Itโ€™s like having the volume turned down to 2โ€ฆ but every now and then something blasts at 10.

    Does this resonate?

    ๐Ÿค” Anita

    in reply to: 2026 so far #456212
    anita
    Participant

    Moving out of your parent’s’ house is HUGE, Wow, Miss L Dutchess.. I’m impressed. B back 2 u in the morning.

    in reply to: I just randomly and suddenly fell out of love #456211
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Like-(the)-Night-Confused (LNC):

    Yes, we talked about Dorsal Vagal Shutdown. I brought it up to you some time ago because that seemed fitting to what you’ve been going through.

    Too much emotion=> Overwhelm ๐Ÿ˜ฑ => ๐Ÿ˜

    It makes me feel nice, the idea ๐Ÿ’ก of the two of you living in Cyprus.. Just the romantic-by proxy part of me.

    ๐Ÿ˜ฑ ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ™‚ Anita

    in reply to: 2026 so far #456209
    anita
    Participant

    Hey Dear Miss L Dutchess ๐Ÿ™‚

    I am so happy to read your first 2026 thread!

    To me, it looks like you’ve been making progress this year ๐Ÿ™

    ๐Ÿ‘ for trying to ๐Ÿ‘€ the glass half full ๐Ÿฅ› and for keeping an open mind!

    How exciting- you working with a dating coach. I didn’t even know there was such a thing as a dating coach (there’s a lot I don’t know ๐Ÿ™‚).

    I want to reply more Mon morning (it’s Sun 8 pm here).

    ๐Ÿฅ› ๐Ÿ‘ ๐Ÿ™ Anita

    in reply to: I just randomly and suddenly fell out of love #456206
    anita
    Participant

    * Does she plan to go back to Cyprus

    in reply to: I just randomly and suddenly fell out of love #456205
    anita
    Participant

    I think ๐Ÿค” it’s 3:42 am in Greece ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท when you submitted the above. I wonder if you work the night shift and that’s why you’re regularly awake at this time โฐ๏ธ

    It’s right after 7 pm here.

    Does she plan to go back to Greece after Germany? How do you feel about possibly living in Cyprus?

    ๐Ÿค” Anita

    in reply to: Zen Story #456203
    anita
    Participant

    The Stone and the Sky:

    A monk once asked the master, โ€œWhy is peace so hard to find?โ€

    The master picked up a small stone and placed it in the monkโ€™s hand.

    โ€œFeel how heavy it is,โ€ he said.

    The monk nodded.

    Then the master pointed to the sky. โ€œHow heavy is that?โ€

    The monk looked up. โ€œIt has no weight at all.โ€

    The master smiled. โ€œPeace is like the sky. Your thoughts are like the stone.โ€

    The monk frowned. โ€œSo, I must throw the stone away?โ€

    The master shook his head. โ€œNo. Just stop gripping it so tightly.โ€

    The monk opened his hand. The stone rested there, unchanged. But his fingers were no longer clenched.

    The master said, โ€œPeace is not the absence of stones. It is the absence of gripping.โ€

    in reply to: I just randomly and suddenly fell out of love #456202
    anita
    Participant

    Hey Confused: who are they asking to be let out? ๐Ÿ™‚

    in reply to: I just randomly and suddenly fell out of love #456200
    anita
    Participant

    Good ๐ŸŒ„ Confused:

    You wrote earlier:

    “So you mean let them be and pay no attention to them? Rather act on logic/values?”-

    I would say: do pay attention to your feelings. Accept them without judgment. Welcome them into your home (your body and mind) without harrassing them with logic and values.

    Keep the Logic-Values Guards (LVGs)๐Ÿ’‚โ€โ™€๏ธ ๐Ÿ’‚โ€โ™€๏ธ out so that your feelings don’t get harrassed (leading to your feelings getting scared and hiding much of the time).

    These guards have a place in the context of what you communicate to other people (through words & actions)

    They have no place in context of what you feel internally.

    In yet other words, you are not a good person because you feel A and B, and you’re not a bad person for feeling X and Y.

    What you feel internally is your private domain. Your business. You don’t owe anyone to feel this or that for them.

    Keep the guards ๐Ÿ’‚โ€โ™€๏ธ ๐Ÿ’‚โ€โ™‚๏ธ out of your private domain. They don’t belong there.

    ๐Ÿ”ฎ Anita

    in reply to: I just randomly and suddenly fell out of love #456199
    anita
    Participant

    I hope ๐Ÿ™ Confused & wild animals are ๐Ÿ˜ด ๐Ÿ’ค this too early Sun morning in Greece; getting late here, WA, USA.

    Good ๐ŸŒ„, ๐ŸŒ™ Anita

    in reply to: I just randomly and suddenly fell out of love #456198
    anita
    Participant

    Double posting, ha- ha.

    Yes, consider a different relationship with those.. wild animals. They don’t listen to “logic/ values”- ..

    Your own “wild animals”, ๐Ÿ˜œ (that emoji just showed up as I typed)-

    Tell me about them. If you give them a voice, what do they say (or bark, or howl)?

    ๐Ÿ‘ฟ๐Ÿ˜Ž Anita

    in reply to: I just randomly and suddenly fell out of love #456197
    anita
    Participant

    Close to 9 pm here, I scrolled up and down, forgetting to do so on the RIGHT side of the phone ๐Ÿ“ฑ screen, so accidently flagged your earlier post for inappropriate content ๐Ÿ˜”

    in reply to: I just randomly and suddenly fell out of love #456194
    anita
    Participant

    What an original question, Confused: “Why would they be wilding”?

    Maybe the more you try to control them, the wilder they get?

    Like, the more you self-doubt them, the angrier they get?

    ๐Ÿ˜  ๐Ÿ˜ก ๐Ÿ‘ฟ … ๐Ÿ™‚ Anita

    in reply to: I just randomly and suddenly fell out of love #456192
    anita
    Participant

    Early, early Sun ๐ŸŒ„, Confused (9 hours ahead of me):

    Cyprus.. Germany ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช

    Hmm.. How ๐Ÿค” can this happen? Well, let me see.. think of emotions like wild animals, sometimes behaving, other times out of your control, W.I.L.D.

    ๐Ÿค” ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ”ฎ Anita

    in reply to: I just randomly and suddenly fell out of love #456190
    anita
    Participant

    * and it’s NOT wonderful anymore

Viewing 15 posts - 31 through 45 (of 5,816 total)