Hey Eva:

The things you’re describing — the urge to text him, the spiraling thoughts when you see him, the self‑blame, the fantasies about his future, even missing the affection that wasn’t consistent — these are signs of how overwhelmed your nervous system still is after a relationship that kept you in a constant state of uncertainty.

When someone has been in a bond where they were never really chosen, the body doesn’t just let go because the relationship ended. It keeps reaching for what was familiar, even if that familiar thing hurt.

When affection is rare, inconsistent, and unpredictable, the brain clings harder, searching for the next “reward,” which intensifies longing, self‑blame, and obsessive thoughts after the breakup (the addiction) You’re reacting to a long period of emotional deprivation and confusion.

What helps now is not forcing yourself to “stop” these reactions but offering yourself small moments of grounding when they appear — reminding yourself that your body is reacting to the history you had with him — the uncertainty, the emotional deprivation, the intermittent affection.

None of this means he was the right person or that you lost something irreplaceable. It means your heart is still unwinding from a relationship where you carried all the emotional weight alone. With time, these waves soften, and your system learns safety again.

Anita (with the help of AI)

Hey Dear Confused 🙂

Seems like you’re giving up on psych meds for now, and by the time she visits you, the med will be out of your system.

All I can say, at this time, is that maybe if you make peace with everything that you feel and everything that you don’t feel; if you stop hoping or expecting to feel this or that.. that change of mindset can help. A lot. Says I.

🌿🌿🌿 Anita

Hello Numero Uno ScottyDye 🙂

I feel your rebellious spirit, and it inspires me!

I also want to rebel this Mon night, the day after Independence Day: rebel against people who are quick to judge others just because it makes them feel superior, or righteous. I declare my independence from their judgements!

But enough about me. This thread is about you. 👏👏👏 for carving your own independent way in life, step by step. Every step counts, and this thread is a step forward.

✨️✨️✨️ Anita

Peace begins right here ✨️✨️✨️

Hey Hey Hey Confused 🙂

I can hear how much you don’t like feeling disconnected. That kind of numbness can happen with stress or medication changes, and I really hope your psych can help you with it — he’s the right person to support you with these symptoms.

Your girlfriend’s need for reassurance is normal, and your numbness doesn’t mean you don’t care. It just means you’re overwhelmed right now.

Your caring 🤍 hasn’t disappeared — it’s just muted by what you’re going through.

🌿🤍🌿🤍 Anita”

Hey ScottyDye:

I am sorry to read about your situation (and your brother’s) 😔

I noticed that the only person who sometimes leaves the house is your mother (“going out with friends/ boyfriend”) while your grandmother is bed ridden, your brother “never leaves his room” and you “NEVER leave.. NEVER go out and do anything”.

Everything you described points to a depressing household indeed. And seems like you’ve been your grandmother’s caretaker, in practice.

I hope you do leave very soon, just plan ahead a bit, find community resources to help you beyond a homeless shelter. Maybe a shelter that supervisrs communal living and provides emotional support..?

Anita

Hi again, Eva 🙂

But you didn’t lose your sense of self. You advocated for yourself all along. It’s just that he can’t or won’t listen. And you’re right, a lot of men out there are emotionally unavailable.

You’ve been very attached to him, emotionally, so separating from him is very difficult for you. It would be for anyone so attached. Try to calm yourself (look up/ use mindfulness or grounding techniques)?

In the future, maybe sooner than later, when you meet men for a possible relationship/ marriage, you can sort of interview them and find out about their emotional availability/ attachment style before getting emotionally invested yourself.

Yes, indeed, you deserve to be cherished ✨️.

The way I’ve experienced this world, true love is hard to come by. You’re not alone, and you have what it takes ( intelligence, insight, courage and perseverance) to find true love 👍👍👍

🌿✨️🌿 Anita

Hey Confused 👋 🙂

You sound so very mentally healthy in the 2nd and 3rd paragraph of your recent post, that (I’m thinking): if the SSRI made it possible, I’m all for you not tapering off!

Besides, 10 days ago, yes, you felt nice, crying.. but you still do, just not all of the time.

And 10 days ago, you didn’t feel nice, etc., all of the time either. You felt plenty of apathy back then.

I think that your memory gets.. Confused, you remembering a moment (of feeling) as if it happened all of the time, and dismiss the improvements you’ve experienced with the med because the improvement does not happen all of the time.

(Black- and-white, all- or- nothing thinking)

Bogart is eating a rib bone right now, 4th of July leftover.

🌿✨️🌿 Anita