Thank you anita

Hmm yeah you are right, we said that again and yes, this was the first one to move me like that.. but u know i can’t even remember that right now, everything is so long ago or my brain has just disconnected me 🙁

Today i feel very bad, so disconnected from everything and everyone, i can’t enjoy anything, can’t focus on anything, feel empty and alone in my house and idk what’s the problem. All i know is i can’t stop thinking of her, from the minute i wake up. I constantly look in the past and try to find what changed or reminisce about how good i used to feel. I know that’s a compulsion/rumination but its hard to stop.
Hours ago i was thinking about her and i was like “what? who is this girl even? why am i so obsessed with her?” not like i don’t “know” who she is, but it’s something different i can’t explain it.

No no, it is the opposite, i can’t how that felt, my mind “removed” it, like a distant cognitive memory, no emotional charge, that goes for my whole life pretty much 🙁

Yes some days have been fun but i constantly ask from myself to be enthusiastic, miss her, be crazy about her, etc, otherwise it’s hard to feel it.

I know it does but i can’t really stop it, no matter what i do, play games, watch movies, be out with friends, ride the motorcycle , nothing works. All i do is think and ruminate and when i don’t i feel bad for not doing it lol.

Yes we did talk about those two, what do u mean changing thinking=changing feelings? About drugs, i am still not comfortable idk, maybe Wellbutrin but i need to find someone to prescribe that for me..

Yes, the therapist suggested CBT-ERP mostly, she constantly says i should really master CBT and slowly eliminate compulsions but she knows it’s difficult.

Hey 🌙🦉 Confused:

By changing thinking => changing feelings, I mean something like (taken from your post only 4 minutes ago):

Thought: I must “be crazy about her” (feeling inadequate for… not feeling crazy)=> Thought: I need not be crazy about anyone. I don’t owe anyone Crazy 🐔” ( feeling adequate for NOT feeling crazy)

I think that what it comes down (or up) to is about Confused giving Confused the break he needs and deserves, and no longer giving Confused a difficult time!

Love Confused first!

✨️🌿✨️ Anita

Double posting! As to your post before last:

I so relate to feeling something authentically and then doubting that it’s real (“u’re faking it”)

It’s a normal confusion that happens as a result of early trauma ( or a result of taking a mood altering drug, I imagine)

As to your most recent post: I think that the sooner you put yourself first ( I don’t mean selfishly, but in a way that’s healthy), the sooner 2026 will get better and better.

Does this make sense to you, really putting yourself first, like you matter most- in your own life? 🌿 # 1?

🐶 Anita

Will reply next, it’s just exciting to me that across the world, in Greece, Confused submitted a post exactly 3 min ago

Fear of abandonment=fear of losing HER specifically or just being abandoned? Does it mean that i want her or i just don’t want to be abandoned? But i think if it wasn’t for the specific person i wouldn’t feel that fear,right? I also made another scenario in my head, tomorrow she’s going to Metallica live in Berlin, so why did she make her profile public today? So she can post stories and tag/location to be seen by randoms? But she’s not like that (or so she made me believe?) a week ago she told me she loves me..

Oh and how do we do this exactly anita?

Good morning, Confused:

Now that I am at the computer, I asked Copilot to analyze your most recent post Analysis of Confused’s Post of 12 hours ago.

Copilot: “* Confused is trying to understand his own fear- He’s asking whether his fear of abandonment is about her specifically, or a general fear of being left, or a mix of both.

This is a classic anxious‑attachment confusion: the fear predates the partner, but once attached, the fear attaches to the person.

* He is spiraling into suspicion and catastrophic thinking- The moment he notices her profile is public, he creates a story: “She’s going to Metallica tomorrow…” “Why make her profile public today?” “Is it so random men can see her stories?” “Is she not who I thought she was?”

This is hypervigilance + insecurity + fear of loss, not evidence-based reasoning. He is scanning for danger, interpreting neutral behavior as threat, and trying to regain control by ‘figuring it out.'”

Did you notice, Confused, that Copilot said, “the fear predates the partner” and I said in my reply to you last night, right above, “the fear predates her”. Do you agree with that?

Next, I asked Copilot a question and he answered: “What are the actual likely reasons she made her account public? – Here are the most common, non-threatening explanations:

* She wants to share concert stories publicly because many people do that at big events.

* She wants friends who aren’t following her yet to see her posts.

* She temporarily changed a setting without thinking deeply about it.

* She’s excited about the concert and wants to share it more widely.

* She doesn’t attach meaning to public/private the way he does.

None of these imply flirting, deception, or disinterest.

His concern about her public account is not about her behavior but about his fear of losing her, and his tendency to interpret neutral actions as threats.

Next, I asked Copilot another question: “Will it better for him if she does leave him (it’s a LDR, he’s not practically tied to her, they only spent 3 days irl together)?

Answer: “In practical terms, yes, it might ultimately be healthier for him. They have only spent three days together in person, the relationship is long‑distance, and his emotional system is already overwhelmed and destabilized. His fear is not rooted in the reality of the relationship but in older wounds that this relationship is activating.

Losing her would hurt him, but it would also remove the trigger that keeps him in a constant state of hypervigilance. It would give him space to work on the deeper fear of abandonment that will follow him into any relationship until it is addressed. In that sense, the end of this relationship could be a relief rather than a catastrophe—though he cannot see that right now because he is fused with the fear.”

Next, I asked Copilot to improve on the inner child writing exercise I suggested to you last night.

Copilot: “Confused, there is a simple way to reach the root of this fear, and it doesn’t require analyzing her behavior or trying to predict what she feels. It starts inside you.

I’d like you to try something: imagine the younger version of you — the boy who first learned what fear and insecurity felt like — and let him speak.

Not the adult who tries to reason things out, not the part of you that analyzes her profile settings, but the child who felt small, scared, or unsure.

Close your eyes for a moment and picture him. Then ask him, gently: ‘What’s troubling you right now? What are you afraid of?’ Let him answer in the simple, uncensored language a child uses — not polished, not logical, just honest.

Whatever he says, type it out exactly as it comes. Don’t correct it, don’t explain it, don’t make it sound adult. Just let him speak. Your only job is to listen and write down his words. That’s how we get to the real fear underneath all of this.”

Copilot and Anita

Hey Confused:

I hear how much you care about her and how deeply you attached your hopes to this relationship. And I also hear how frightening it feels to imagine losing her.

But I (and Copilot) want to gently name something:

The fear you’re feeling isn’t coming from her, and the comfort you’re longing for can’t actually come from her. She didn’t create this wound, so she can’t be the cure for it.

Right now, your mind is holding onto her as if she is the only path to safety, the only way to feel loved, the only reason to keep healing — and that makes everything feel life‑or‑death. But the part of you that is terrified is much younger than you are, and it’s asking for something no partner can fully give.

You don’t have to leave her, and you don’t have to make any decisions right now. What matters is understanding that the panic you feel is coming from inside you, not from the relationship.

Healing that fear is what will allow you to actually experience the love you want — whether with her or anyone else. And even if nothing came up when you tried the inner‑child exercise, that’s okay. Sometimes the younger part of us stays quiet at first because it doesn’t feel safe yet. This is a process, not a failure.

🌿✨️ 🌿✨️ Anita