Oh, Confused, if you gave me a million dollars right now, I will care, promise! 😁

It’s not that I will do just about anything for that million dollars! No, I won’t!

So, Gemini has also pointed to your inner child. It’s the three of us, 2 robots and one human.

You shared before that you were told that when you talked about your childhood (which included severe emotional abuse, really), you sounded like you were reading an article from a newspaper.

That’s an earlier shutdown than the shutdown you experienced with this woman (whom you’ve known.. for how long, LD?)

😁🌿😢🌿🐔🌿🌙🦉 Anita

Hey anita

I wouldn’t be able to feel it/care about it right now..

No no i asked gemini about this and it basically told me that if u cant find the inner child it usually lies within the things u tell others (like the one i said).

Yeah, i dont remember feeling love or attachment to anyone except romantic relationships actually. (we’ve known each other for 1.5 years, started having feelings for her a year ago, April 2025)

No no i don’t think that’s the case. She did bring color into my life but it’s not like i wasn’t enjoying life before her. Or that i just happened to project my desires on her. I like her for legit things, character traits, loving and caring personality, humor, intelligence, wittiness and many more, it wasn’t a blind “ok i want her now”, i was falling gradually while getting to know her.
I know she’s not the cure, i am not looking for her to cure me, i just want my old self back, the one that could feel romantic things with her, who could dream things, be excited to share my life with her, the prior to november confused. Because right now i dont feel like myself at all.
I think the panic i was feeling was because i would lose her specifically, since a month or two ago, imagining the future without her was bringing me bad feelings.

Dear Confused:

I walked with you as far as I can. I shared everything I know that might help, and now the next part of the journey is yours alone.

I’ll still be around, but I need to step back from the level of involvement I’ve had. I hope you continue exploring your inner world with patience and care. I’m wishing you peace and healing.

🌿 Anita

Hey 🙂 Confused:

You are kind and gracious, thank you!

I wish you success in limiting your ruminations/ compulsions and finding peace and some happiness again ✨🙏✨

May indeed this almost 100-page thread be of help to others.

It’s a very warm day here, 28 degrees Celsius, a bit cooler than it was in Greece during the day (29 degrees?) I wonder what kind of weather your favorite is, and which is your least favorite 🤔

🌿🤍🌿Anita

Thank you, Confused 🙂

Dreams like you imagined them.. having dreams by itself can be pleasant, even if they don’t come true.. ? There’s a song that says something like that ( I’d like to look it up when l am back to the computer).

My favorite weather, like yours, mild, spring or fall. Even winter is better than hot, humid summers.

Funny, you mention the unpleasantness of sweating, my reaction to hot and humid was asking fungi, gross ( couldn’t get rid of that before I moved across the world to a milder climate.

🔥-😔 Anita

No no i want them to come true, always.. I dont think i know this song tbh, lyrics dont ring a bell..

Yeah exactly, when its cold u can put more clothes on, but when its hot?

Oh im lucky i dont get those, there is one thing im lucky at! haha

So, because I have an inquiring mind, ha-ha, I asked Copilot if it’s really better to have love and lost than to never have loved at all?

Answer: “The core truth- If the love was real, nourishing, mutual, and safe, then yes — loving and losing is better than never loving at all. Because real love expands you. It grows your capacity. It leaves something inside you that remains even after it ends. But if the “love” was mixed with fear, shame, confusion, or emotional abandonment then the equation changes.”

Next, I couldn’t help but ask about your love, Confused- Answer: “What love does to Confused- Love doesn’t just open him. It destabilizes him. It activates his fear of dependence, of being needed, of needing someone, of losing the person, of losing himself… So, for him, love is beautiful but dysregulating. That changes the equation… It is better for him to love only if the love helps him regulate, not destabilize. And right now, his love for her is not regulating him. It is overwhelming him.

“The deeper truth- Confused is choosing between loving in a way that overwhelms his system vs. learning how to love without losing himself. The first harms him. The second heals him. So, the real question is not whether love is ‘worth it.’ It’s whether he has the capacity to stay regulated inside love.

“Right now, he doesn’t — but he could, with time and internal work.” Copilot

Good night/ morning, Confused!

Anita