Dear Confused: it’s very late for you now in Greece (2:07 am when I submit this), and I know your heart is hurting. Try to let the night be quiet. Take a breath, φίλε μου. Your feelings are strong because you’re overwhelmed, not because you need to do anything. Let things settle a bit. Ειρήνη στην καρδιά σου… peace in your heart for tonight.

Anita

Hey Dear Confused 🙂

Truly a pleasure to read your message, makes me happy to read you say: “I stopped taking full responsibility and started seeing her more as an equal” 👏👏👏

Because it’s true.

I agree with your friend 👍

I am using my phone, but when I’m back to the computer, I will ask you know who what you wrote at the closing of your post in Greek.

6:30 am your time by the time I submit this post. I hope you sleep well 🌙🦉.

🌿 Anita

Hey anita

Turns out she wasn’t bluffing, she did have screenshots of me texting another girl (that i had told her i only keep her for cringe-content, which was the truth). I had replied to some of her stories but always with humor when i would see something id like, not instigate anything. But this was back in January-April 2025, we were in contact yes, but we hadnt yet said anything about being a couple anyway, this happened after May and i pointed that out. She was mad angry because i had told her that i liked her ever since we started talking (which is true) and because i said i dont reply to stories, which i mostly don’t, just sometimes when i see something funny i might comment on it, but she said that wasnt just “commenting” for her, it was more, calling me names and liar, abusive narcissist and telling me that my self is my worst enemy.
I got a bit angry too and i put her in her place, told her that this was so belittling for her and i was not expecting that and i also have had my needs not met and dealing with a lot of negativity from her side. We kept talking, tension dropped and then she apologized and said this was so out of character but she did it just because she was angry and i told her its okay, i understand that she wanted to get some sort of “revenge” on me and i dont judge her for it.
She said that no matter how hard she tries to grieve for me and remember me, all she can see is me straight lying in her face for an hour and gaslighting her, she changed her tickets to visit her house, told me she doesn’t want any money or the gift that i made for her but i told her i will send it anyway and she can just toss it in the trash. I told her that i am willing to do whatever it takes to gain her trust back and rebuild our relationship because i want no other but no matter what she does with us, to know that i never cheated or lied to her (except this incident 3 days ago) and i was always honest and fully invested in her. Then we were sending voice messages, both crying at some, i told her i love her alot and she’s my baby and she told me to stop saying those things, i said that i could never, she’s my little girl.
We ended the convo with her wishing me well and to have a nice time with my friends, i told her that i love her to the moon and back and my arms are always open for her. She said that she can’t stop crying and doesnt know what to say, but just wishes whatever i said on my voice recordings were true..

I rode the motorcycle, which had a dusted mirror and i thought of writing “i love you” and send her a picture but then i thought that maybe that would be extra pressure for her. My friends told me i am out of my mind that i am still trying with a person that treats me this way after all this work ive put in the relationship, but they don’t know that i played my part in fueling that behaviour (not excusing it tho). Riding back home i was looking at the moon, imagining her sitting behind me and me holding her hand..i teared up.
Today i was lying in bed after i woke up (i dont really want to exist right now) and i thought of hugging her tightly, not letting her go and telling her “i love u so much”.. and i hugged the air and cried.. I wish i could somehow show her how i feel for her 🙁

Hey anita

Idk if she feels like that right now, i think she wants distance from me overall for the time being. She said that she has black eyes from crying, i do too.. why can’t she see that we want to be together and try to work things out? How can two people that want each other so badly stay apart?

We are definitely more comfortable in a LDR because that’s how we met each other and fell in love, but IRL would be so much better. I remember our hug/kiss, it was epic for me, electrifying..

Well i told her that no matter what plans we have for the future we first have to see how we are together for a month, for example, sleep/wake up/live together, then we can proceed to making plans, otherwise it would be kinda “useless” for me. I did have plans tho, i had told her to book a ticket when returning from cyprus in december with a stop here in my city for like a day or two and then we can both fly to germany and spend some time there, or go to another country close to her for x-mas. I mean, thats the only plan for me, get to know each other better IRL.

I think she was pressuring herself to not “let me down” in terms of appearance, behaviour, etc.. she’s so silly.. i would melt everytime we would videocall, how can’t she see that? I was telling her how pretty she was in our calls and she wouldnt believe me.

Pretty much yeah but i dont think we will be incompatible, we share many same values and opinions, such as chores, food, movies, hanging out with each other.

Hey anita

That could be a reason that things get rocky before we meet (like me in november), i think we put too much pressure on both of us but i alleviated it this time, i told her no matter what happens we dont care.

Oh she never mentioned that so idk, but seems logical to me.. i mean how can u say if u wanna be with someone before actually living with them? Funny tho, i was telling her that i want her in my life yesterday and today and i was feeling that.. She hid me on instagram so i can’t view her stories because she was about to remove me but did this instead. Today as i was looking at my feed i saw a story of hers, so that means she removed me from the list of the hidden people but like 10 mins later she put me there again, i didnt see what she posted.
After that i felt indifferent, like i dont care about her, now i feel the emptiness again, like no place is big enough for me. Isnt that the pattern? They come close – pulling away, theyre going away-u feel feelings.

Haha so how do we fix that? Because it sure is not rational and we can’t control it.. I think i get it sometimes..|

Well i did feel like i want her in my life as my woman, but how can we know if we actually are good for each other unless we live together for a while? In my head one contradicts the other. U might be wanting someone like crazy but u are not a good match because of other issues, idk. It would be too soon to say that we are building a life together, having only met for 3 days. But i did have vision of us building her dental office somewhere, working together hard and making it happen. Also the random thought, us getting married and kissing her while everybody else watch, playing the song i was hearing at that moment.. Idk what are those thoughts but they came randomly.

Idk anita i am confused again, do i really love her? am i afraid of the void? do i want her to fill my void? What is the case.. i have no clue anymore.

Hey Dear Confused 🤔

I think what’s happening right now is that your mind is trying to jump between extremes — big visions of the future on one side, and fear of the void on the other. That swing is what makes everything feel confusing. When you’re in that place, the questions don’t have clear answers yet. They’re just signals that you’re overwhelmed.

Maybe the first step isn’t to “fix” anything, but to let things settle a little. When you slow down inside, your feelings get clearer. You don’t have to decide if it’s love, fear, or the void tonight. You don’t have to solve the whole relationship in your head. Just breathe a bit, stay steady, and let the dust settle.

We can look at it together, one piece at a time.

* 100 mph ≈ 161 kph, 65 mph ≈ 105 kph

🏍️🚗🏍️ Anita

Hey 🌙🦉 Confused:

So good to read back from you this Thurs night here.

I don’t think you’re bipolar. I communicated before with someone so diagnosed and you never sounded that way at all. Your thoughts never rush ahead in that fast, fast way.

Are the two of you communicating at this time.. I wonder 🤔