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I just randomly and suddenly fell out of love

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  • September 10, 2026 at 12:52 pm #460906
    Confused
    Participant

    Hey anita

    Oh yeah i didnt notice the last post about the greek guy. Haha, i hope u enjoyed the conversation. Sparta and Athens are far from where i live, never been to sparta tho. He mentioned cyprus too? i guess he’s kinda old.

    Well, idk how and why i do that but that’s me, i always go all-in, idk how to change it and frankly i dont think i feel like changing it because thats how i enjoy things.

    September 10, 2026 at 1:20 pm #460907
    anita
    Participant

    Hey Confused 🙂

    Yes, he’s 👴(but with long hair and lots of tattoos)

    I hear you — going all‑in feels meaningful to you, and I’m not arguing with that. What I’m pointing to is something different: when “all‑in” turns into giving a relationship power over your motivation, your mood, and your direction.

    Enjoying intensity is one thing; losing yourself inside it is another. (You said on Sept 5: “I was more active in my life and I was enjoying things more… I would get motivated… but everything lost its meaning.”)

    You can still go all‑in without handing over the steering wheel of your life. That’s the part I’m talking about. 🙂

    Anita

    September 16, 2026 at 7:39 pm #461004
    Confused
    Participant

    Hey anita

    He’s a hipster then? haha

    Hmm, i think i know what u mean but for me it had always been difficult to differentiate and set boundaries to myself. I would always lose myself in a relationship because of my excitement when i would be with someone id really like. I meant i was more active before this happened and i was most active with her, in the first year, i was getting more motivation and drive (always happens to me when im with someone) but then i guess burnout?

    I wish i knew how to do that 🙁

    Although lately i feel better overall and things are great between us, after that 11 hour videocall and us setting boundaries, expressing what hurt us/etc, things are smooth. I still get my occasional “do i love her? why am i not excited? why do i feel bothered sometimes?” and the rest of this circus/thoughts, but i think it’s a lot better.

    September 16, 2026 at 8:13 pm #461005
    anita
    Participant

    Hey ✨️✨️✨️ Confused

    I guess he is a hipster, it didn’t even cross my mind, but yeah: long hair, very, very casually dressed, lots of tattoos.. always been nice to me.

    Overall you feel better overall, a lot better- a smile on my face 😊

    The occasional doubting thoughts are a habit of the mind, I figure. I hope that over time, this mental habit gets quieter and quieter and new thinking replaces the old.

    You wrote, “I would always lose myself in a relationship… but then I guess burnout?”-

    Maybe the lost-Confused, needing to be found, competed with the girl for your attention by shutting down your feelings for her..? 🤔

    🌿🌿🌿 Anita

    September 22, 2026 at 12:35 pm #461082
    Confused
    Participant

    Hey anita

    Haha, i wasnt saying it in a serious manner but maybe i was spot on!

    Well, that’s gone now, i feel like shit 🙁

    My mind not only doubts and gets irritated by her in the past two days or so (she hasnt done anything wrong), but i get irritated by everyone, my sister sending me reels, funny messages/etc im like “ugh, not again!”, i find no pleasure or joy in anything but my mind keeps shifting the focus on her, even tho she’s the most loving she’s ever been towards me. Two days ago i found a book that she couldn’t find at cyprus and she loves it, i bought it, was feeling excited to go home and show it to her, felt happy with the fact that she felt overjoyed and then poof, felt irritated again. I think it’s severe depression in the works.

    Hmm, what do u mean by that anita?

    September 22, 2026 at 2:57 pm #461083
    anita
    Participant

    Hey Irritated Confused 😒

    Sounds like the relationship with her is going well, and that the irritation and feeling like sh** comes from elsewhere in your life: stagnation at work perhaps? stagnation with family (same old, never resolved problems swept under the carpet and fermenting there,, perhaps 🤔?

    I said “Maybe the lost-Confused, needing to be found, competed with the girl for your attention by shutting down your feelings for her..?” because you said “I would always lose myself in a relationship”

    Coming to think about it, I wonder what you mean by losing yourself..?

    (I hope the question is not 😒-ing you)

    Anita

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