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I just randomly and suddenly fell out of love

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  • September 10, 2026 at 12:52 pm #460906
    Confused
    Participant

    Hey anita

    Oh yeah i didnt notice the last post about the greek guy. Haha, i hope u enjoyed the conversation. Sparta and Athens are far from where i live, never been to sparta tho. He mentioned cyprus too? i guess he’s kinda old.

    Well, idk how and why i do that but that’s me, i always go all-in, idk how to change it and frankly i dont think i feel like changing it because thats how i enjoy things.

    September 10, 2026 at 1:20 pm #460907
    anita
    Participant

    Hey Confused 🙂

    Yes, he’s 👴(but with long hair and lots of tattoos)

    I hear you — going all‑in feels meaningful to you, and I’m not arguing with that. What I’m pointing to is something different: when “all‑in” turns into giving a relationship power over your motivation, your mood, and your direction.

    Enjoying intensity is one thing; losing yourself inside it is another. (You said on Sept 5: “I was more active in my life and I was enjoying things more… I would get motivated… but everything lost its meaning.”)

    You can still go all‑in without handing over the steering wheel of your life. That’s the part I’m talking about. 🙂

    Anita

    September 16, 2026 at 7:39 pm #461004
    Confused
    Participant

    Hey anita

    He’s a hipster then? haha

    Hmm, i think i know what u mean but for me it had always been difficult to differentiate and set boundaries to myself. I would always lose myself in a relationship because of my excitement when i would be with someone id really like. I meant i was more active before this happened and i was most active with her, in the first year, i was getting more motivation and drive (always happens to me when im with someone) but then i guess burnout?

    I wish i knew how to do that 🙁

    Although lately i feel better overall and things are great between us, after that 11 hour videocall and us setting boundaries, expressing what hurt us/etc, things are smooth. I still get my occasional “do i love her? why am i not excited? why do i feel bothered sometimes?” and the rest of this circus/thoughts, but i think it’s a lot better.

    September 16, 2026 at 8:13 pm #461005
    anita
    Participant

    Hey ✨️✨️✨️ Confused

    I guess he is a hipster, it didn’t even cross my mind, but yeah: long hair, very, very casually dressed, lots of tattoos.. always been nice to me.

    Overall you feel better overall, a lot better- a smile on my face 😊

    The occasional doubting thoughts are a habit of the mind, I figure. I hope that over time, this mental habit gets quieter and quieter and new thinking replaces the old.

    You wrote, “I would always lose myself in a relationship… but then I guess burnout?”-

    Maybe the lost-Confused, needing to be found, competed with the girl for your attention by shutting down your feelings for her..? 🤔

    🌿🌿🌿 Anita

    September 22, 2026 at 12:35 pm #461082
    Confused
    Participant

    Hey anita

    Haha, i wasnt saying it in a serious manner but maybe i was spot on!

    Well, that’s gone now, i feel like shit 🙁

    My mind not only doubts and gets irritated by her in the past two days or so (she hasnt done anything wrong), but i get irritated by everyone, my sister sending me reels, funny messages/etc im like “ugh, not again!”, i find no pleasure or joy in anything but my mind keeps shifting the focus on her, even tho she’s the most loving she’s ever been towards me. Two days ago i found a book that she couldn’t find at cyprus and she loves it, i bought it, was feeling excited to go home and show it to her, felt happy with the fact that she felt overjoyed and then poof, felt irritated again. I think it’s severe depression in the works.

    Hmm, what do u mean by that anita?

    September 22, 2026 at 2:57 pm #461083
    anita
    Participant

    Hey Irritated Confused 😒

    Sounds like the relationship with her is going well, and that the irritation and feeling like sh** comes from elsewhere in your life: stagnation at work perhaps? stagnation with family (same old, never resolved problems swept under the carpet and fermenting there,, perhaps 🤔?

    I said “Maybe the lost-Confused, needing to be found, competed with the girl for your attention by shutting down your feelings for her..?” because you said “I would always lose myself in a relationship”

    Coming to think about it, I wonder what you mean by losing yourself..?

    (I hope the question is not 😒-ing you)

    Anita

    September 30, 2026 at 9:33 pm #461231
    anita
    Participant

    Naturally, I miss talking to Confused. First post: Dec 19, 2025 (“Hello, reading this thread gave me relief since I’m suffering from the same thing for the first time in my life in the past 1.5 month…”)

    Last post, Sept 22, 2026: “Hey anita… My mind not only doubts and gets irritated by her in the past two days or so (she hasn’t done anything wrong), but I get irritated by everyone… ”

    I hope you’re okay, CoNfUsEd

    AnItA

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