You are very welcome, Mahmoud Mazloum, and thank you! Looking forward to growing together..

anita

Dear Beni:

“I could not differentiate myself from others“- reads like you have struggled with self-identity, leading to a life without a clear sense of personal direction.

“I can never forgive myself for treating me the way I did“-  you feel a sense of guilt and regret for not treating yourself better.

“I did act in my best intentions and abilities and still I know it was below my abilities”– despite acting with good intentions, you recognize that you did not reach your full potential.

“That I did not ask for help when I needed to”– the difficulty in seeking help and finding the right guidance at the right time contributed to your struggles.

“I kept doing what made me suppress myself“- Continued self-suppressive behaviors took a toll on your well-being.

“I never want to let me down again but also it seems that it is quite difficult to trust myself again“- your desire to change and not repeat past mistakes is strong, but rebuilding self-trust poses a significant challenge.

Advice: 1. practice self-Compassion and Forgiveness: treat yourself with kindness, acknowledge that you did your best given your circumstances and that it’s okay to make mistakes, 2. Don’t hesitate to seek support from trusted others, including from supportive members in these forums, 3. rebuild self-trust: start with small, achievable goals that help rebuild your confidence and trust in your abilities. Celebrate your successes, no matter how minor they may seem, 4. engage in self-discovery: explore and understand your values, interests, and passions. This can help clarify your sense of self and guide your decisions. Keeping a journal (perhaps here, on your thread) can help you in the process of self-discovery.

I hope that this is somewhat helpful, and I am looking forward to reading from you again.

anita

Dear Rising Power:

You are very welcome and I am glad that you posted again. I will read and reply Sun morning (itis Sat evening here).

anita

Dear John:

“I apologize for posting on the same subject twice…“- To err is human: making mistakes is an inherent part of being human. No wrong committed (a wrong= a deliberate action that goes against ethical standards). A tiny mistake on tiny buddha is definitely acceptable, says I 😊

“I was affirmed into the sect many years ago; my sensei gave me the name Shinnen“- your given name is a Japanese name that can have different meanings depending on the kanji characters used to write it: 信念 (Shinnen) means belief or conviction, often associated with one’s principles or faith, and  新年 (Shinnen) means New Year, symbolizing renewal, new beginnings, and fresh opportunities.

“The temple is a very special place for me. I feel like I’m going home; where I can be with people who share the same aspirations and ways“- reads like you feel a deep emotional connection, safety, and a sense of belonging in the temple, a strong communal bond, because of shared values, goals, and practices.

“Normally I feel like a fish out of water”– but in your everyday life, you feel out of place, misunderstood, or disconnected from your surroundings and the people around you..

“But there… I’m at peace”–  the temple is a refuge for you, a sanctuary, a place where you can relax and feel at peace with being you.  A powerful testimony, John!

“I have had a long history in Theravadin, Mahayana, and Zen Buddhism, and it’s been a very interesting, and often challenging trip“- reads like you spent a considerable amount of time studying and practicing within these different Buddhist traditions, exercising a deep level of engagement and commitment.

Theravadin focuses on individual enlightenment through rigorous practice and adherence to early Buddhist teachings. Mahayana emphasizes the bodhisattva path, practicing compassion and aspiring to achieve enlightenment not just for oneself, but for the benefit of all sentient beings.

Zen Buddhism is a school of Mahayana Buddhism that promotes a simple and uncluttered lifestyle, meditation and direct experience, which means experiencing the present moment fully and directly without the filter of preconceived notions and linguistic labels. It is also known for the use of koans (paradoxical questions or statements).

In your post on another thread less than two hour ago, you quoted from Matthew Arnold’s poem, Dover Beach (first published in 1867).

“The first sentence ‘Ah, love let us be true to one another!’ is really the conclusion“- the conclusion is a heartfelt appeal for loyalty, honesty, and mutual support in a world that seems increasingly uncertain and bleak, seeking solace and security in genuine, honest relationships, a refuge from the chaos and confusion of the external world.

“Ah, love, let us be true-  To one another! for the world, which seems-  To lie before us like a land of dreams,- So various, so beautiful, so new,- Hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light,- Nor certitude, nor peace, nor help for pain;- And we are here as on a darkling plain- Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight,- Where ignorant armies clash by night.”- the world appears to be a wonderful and idyllic place, full of beauty and promise, but despite its (deceptive) beauty, the world lacks true joy, love, peace, and solace. Humanity is depicted as being in a state of confusion and turmoil, engaging in chaotic and senseless conflicts and struggles.

The imagery evokes a sense of disillusionment, hopelessness and helplessness. In response to this disillusionment, the poet emphasizes the importance of mutual truth and fidelity in personal relationships, of genuine connection and support as a source of stability and comfort.

Dover Beach was written around 1851, and first published in 1867 in his collection “New Poems.” I think that the themes and insights of the poem are even more relevant today, 173 years later, than back then because of the negative consequences of advanced technology: climate change, pollution, and a much greater technological capability for mass destruction of billions of lives, a capability which accompanies current chaotic and senseless political instabilities and wars

The poet’s plea for truth and fidelity (being faithful, loyal, trustworthy) in personal relationships emphasizes the timeless importance of human connection. In our current era where digital interactions often replace face-to-face communication, the need for genuine, meaningful relationships remains crucial for emotional well-being.

Thank you, John, for the poem and posts. Your given name fits you well, if I may say so: a man of belief, conviction, new beginnings and opportunities. Here in these forums is an opportunity for genuine, honest relationships, truth and fidelity among ourselves.

anita

Dear Lisa:

I came across a poem yesterday, and I thought of sending it to you because it fits you too:

“In the quiet of the night, where shadows play,     And the silence whispers what hearts cannot say,

Know that even in the darkest of days,     There’s a light within you, guiding your way.

Your heart feels heavy, burdened with care,     The weight of the world, too much to bear.

Yet in the midst of pain, there’s a spark,     A reminder that hope still ignites in the dark.

When love feels distant, and solace is scarce,     Remember, dear soul, you are strong and fierce.

In the echoes of doubt, find your inner voice,     A whisper of strength, a reason to rejoice.

Though the path seems lonely, you’re never alone,     For within you lies a courage well-known.

Take each step forward, with grace and with might,     For brighter tomorrows are born from this fight.

Let the tears flow freely, let the heart mend,     For in brokenness, there’s a chance to transcend.

Embrace the journey, with all that it brings,     For you are resilient, a soul with wings.

In the quiet of the night, hold on to your grace,     With each breath you take, find a serene space.

Know that you are cherished, valued, and dear,     And with each new dawn, let go of your fear.

May you find comfort in the love that remains,     In the strength of your spirit, despite the pains.

For you are a warrior, with a heart so true,     And brighter days will come, just for you.”

anita

Dear John/ Everyone:

The quotes you offered, John,  on another thread: “Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced”, “Life is NOT about seeking shelter from the storms; life is about learning to dance in the rain”,

Right above: “Gassho… The premise of the practice is that, as humans, we constantly desire: something more, somewhere else, to be with someone else, to be thinking something else, to be someone else, to be feeling something else, to be doing something else. It seems to be our nature, as humans, to be discontent“- very well said, John, if you don’t mind me saying so.