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anitaParticipantDear Drew (or do you prefer DREW?):
Thank you for your thoughtful response and for sharing more about your situation. I understand that finding the right diagnosis and treatment can be challenging, especially with the added difficulty of accessing specialists and not being able to afford private treatment.
“I dismissed Tourette’s outright as I believed it’s always congenital, but if you’re right that it can be brought on throughout life, and even triggered by some medicines, then that fits with my suspicion that my involuntary vocalizations may have been caused by the pill I was taking when mine started.”
Tourette Syndrome (TS) is generally considered congenital, meaning it is present from birth and often manifests in early childhood, with the average onset occurring between the ages of 5 and 7 years old. It is strongly influenced by genetic factors, and it often runs in families.
While rare, there are documented cases of TS developing in adulthood. These cases may be triggered by factors such as stress, neurological injuries, infections, or certain medications.
“I don’t know about other tic disorders though – I’d need to research that.”
Tic disorders that include involuntary vocalizations, such as voicing thoughts out loud, include the following:
Tourette Syndrome (TS): Multiple motor tics and at least one vocal tic present for more than one year.
Persistent (Chronic) Motor or Vocal Tic Disorder: Either motor tics or vocal tics (but not both) present for more than one year.
Provisional Tic Disorder: Motor and/or vocal tics present for at least four weeks but less than one year.
Other Specified Tic Disorder: Tics that do not meet the criteria for the above disorders but still cause significant distress or impairment. The duration and presentation can vary.
Unspecified Tic Disorder: Tics present, but there is not enough information to make a more specific diagnosis. The duration varies.
Medication-induced tics are not classified as a separate tic disorder. Instead, they are considered a type of movement disorder caused by the side effects of certain medications. These tics can resemble those seen in tic disorders but are specifically triggered by medication use.
“I also don’t recognize the medicines you list, but perhaps mine is a culprit.”
The medications I mentioned, which can lead to the development of tics as a side effect, have different brand names. Here are some examples:
Methylphenidate: Ritalin, Concerta, Equasym XL, Medikinet, and Delmosart.
Dextroamphetamine: Dexedrine, Amfexa.
Haloperidol: Haldol, Serenace.
Risperidone: Risperdal, Consta.
There are several other medications that can result in tics or tic-like symptoms. These include medications that treat psychiatric symptoms, nausea and other gastroenterological issues (examples: Metoclopramide, promethazine, prochlorperazine, levosulpiride), allergies (examples: Hydroxyzine, promethazine), and antiepileptics.
“I have wondered about ADHD but only regarding impulse control: I’d never heard of it linked to vocalizing thoughts. But I thought that unlikely as I generally don’t have trouble concentrating; certainly not to the extent that I’ve heard described as typical for ADHD.”
It is possible to be diagnosed with ADHD even if not all of the symptoms apply. ADHD is a spectrum disorder, and different individuals present different combinations of symptoms with differing severity, often without all the listed symptoms being present.
If there’s anything more I can do to support you or if you have any further questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out. Wishing you all the best. Take care and stay strong 💪!
anita
anitaParticipantDear n20:
Thank you for coming back and sharing this update!
On June 30, 2024, you shared that you struggled with anxiety your entire life, which had significantly worsened over the past year, leading to your first experience with depression and a diagnosis of OCD. Despite feeling overwhelmed by the persistent nature of your mental health issues, you held onto hope for improvement and sought support from others with similar experiences while working on self-compassion and living in the moment.
Fast forward almost 8 months, and it’s lovely to see your photos and stories of world travel. You look wonderful, and your positive energy truly shines through!
In “Lesson Learned,” you recounted your harrowing journey of seeking validation and help for your worsening health issues. You advocated for yourself and underwent extensive medical testing, which eventually revealed lesions on your brain indicative of multiple sclerosis (MS). Further testing results were negative for MS, and you did not share a definitive diagnosis regarding the cause of the lesions, as far as I can tell.
You shared your story to provide hope to others who might be struggling, emphasizing that it is possible to feel better and emerge stronger from immense suffering. You reflected on how accepting your emotions, including suicidal thoughts, helped you move through the pain. Now, you have new ambitions, including pursuing a PhD program and reconnecting with family. You expressed gratitude for the experience, despite its challenges, as it has profoundly changed your life and provided you with valuable insights. You now understand the significance of happiness and suffering and can look back at this time for strength in future hardships.
It’s inspiring, n20, to read how far you have come despite facing serious health issues affecting your brain. Your strength and resilience are truly admirable, and I’m so glad to read that you’re finally getting the help you need.
Your journey is a powerful reminder that there is hope, even in the most challenging times. It’s heartening to know that you’re proud of your progress, and it’s uplifting for others who might be going through similar struggles.
Your story will undoubtedly provide hope and encouragement to anyone reading it. Thank you for being brave enough to share your experience and for offering a beacon of hope to others.
Wishing you continued strength, healing, and positivity on your journey.
anita
anitaParticipantDear Alessa:
It’s wonderful to see how much insight and growth you have gained in understanding your emotions and interactions with others.
Your focus on letting things unfold naturally is an important aspect of personal growth, something I need to practice more myself.
I greatly admire your dedication to understanding yourself and others. Your efforts to be less blunt and to recognize the impact of your words demonstrate emotional intelligence— something I’m working on improving myself.
“Negative emotions are not bad. They have a purpose.”- I am processing and elaborating on your words: Anger, often considered a negative emotion due to its discomfort, agitation, and potential for aggressive behavior, has a positive purpose. It motivates us to take action to protect ourselves, assert our needs, and address injustices.
“I have been feeling anxious and I wondered what the purpose of anxiety was. To highlight a threat or danger… This is what happens to me a lot because of my PTSD. Hyper-vigilance.”- I have suffered from Complex PTSD (C-PTSD) since childhood. This was undiagnosed because:
(1) C-PTSD was first formally recognized as a diagnosis by the WHO in 2018, only a few years ago.
(2) In the United States, the American Psychiatric Association (APA) has not approved C-PTSD as a separate diagnosis, so I couldn’t receive this diagnosis even if I sought it.I tend to be hyper-vigilant to any sign of disrespect and often quickly interpret people’s words and behaviors as disrespectful, shaming, or intentionally harmful. This stems from my experience with my mother, who severely disrespected me and intentionally shamed and hurt me, taking pleasure in my pain. As a result, I developed an expectation that others would treat me the same way. I need to become more aware of this tendency and work on recognizing it as it happens in everyday life, including here on the forums.
Thank you, Alessa, for your kind words and encouragement, and for giving me the opportunity to process things and gain a deeper understanding of myself. Wishing you continued growth and success on your journey. ❤️
anita
anitaParticipantDear Drew: You are welcome and no worries about when you respond. I want to thoroughly read and reply to you Wed morning (it’s Tues afternoon here).
anita
anitaParticipantDear Peter:
I want to reply further when I am more focused Wed morning.
anita
anitaParticipantDear Zenith:
And how are you feeling about it, about the manager talking you out of applying to the internal job and about you changing your mind about it?
anita
anitaParticipantDear Peter:
I understand about the news these days being overwhelming and concerning. During these challenging times, it’s important to take care of yourself and find moments of peace amidst the chaos. Your well-being is important, and taking care of yourself will help you stay resilient.
anita
anitaParticipantDear Jana:
I asked you: “if anyone’s behavior is strictly, consistently one (passive, submissive) OR the other (aggressive, confrontational)?
Your answer includes the statement “I was always submissive”.
This morning, I want to answer my question in general terms: human behavior is complex and situational, which makes it rare for someone to exhibit strictly and consistently one type of behavior, such as being entirely passive and submissive or entirely aggressive and confrontational, in all aspects of life.
People’s behavior often changes depending on the context and situation. Someone might be passive and submissive at work or in formal settings, but assertive or even confrontational in personal relationships. The nature of relationships influence behavior. For example, someone might be passive with authority figures but assertive or aggressive with a younger sibling.
While certain personality traits make someone more inclined toward a particular behavior (e.g., introversion => more passive behavior, while extroversion => more assertive behavior), it’s not absolute. People exhibit a range of behaviors depending on various factors.
Over time, individuals may learn and adapt their behaviors based on experiences. Someone who was once submissive might learn to be more assertive, while someone who was aggressive might learn to communicate more calmly.
In some cultures, assertiveness is encouraged, while in others, submissiveness is more socially acceptable. Social expectations shape how people respond in different situations.
What do you think about the above, Jana?
Also, in regard to “I was always submissive”- what about your anger about submitting, anger at the aggressive people in your life: did you push it down, suppressing it or repressing it?
anita
anitaParticipantDear Aj:
Thank you for your thoughtful response. I’m glad to read that you’ve started recognizing the patterns of reassurance-seeking and how it affects you. This awareness is an important step towards managing your OCD.
It’s great that you’ve taken your sister’s advice to give into the uncertainty and stop your compulsions, even if it’s challenging, and that you deleted the internet for now and feel better for it. The “Maybe, maybe not” technique can be difficult at first, but it’s encouraging to read that you’re starting to feel clearer-minded.
Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Seeking professional support from a therapist who specializes in OCD can provide you with the tools and strategies to manage these thoughts effectively.
Wishing you strength and clarity as you navigate these challenges.
anita
anitaParticipantDear Aj:
“I’ve been diagnosed with health ocd.. why is my brain now suddenly saying that everything I want is a woman now- when never in my life have I thought that?”- I understand that you’re feeling confused and distressed by these sudden thoughts. Given your diagnosis of OCD, it’s important to recognize that OCD causes intrusive thoughts that may be completely unrelated to your true desires and feelings.
In your case, the sudden intrusive thoughts about your sexual orientation is an example of how OCD manifests. These thoughts are likely a result of your brain’s tendency to latch onto uncertainties and create doubt, even when there’s no real basis for it. The fact that you’ve never had romantic or sexual interest in women and have always been attracted to men suggests that these thoughts are not reflective of your true desires but are rather a symptom of your OCD.
It’s important to seek support from a therapist who specializes in OCD. They can help you develop strategies to manage these intrusive thoughts and reduce the impact they have on your life.
“I watch male on male porn now… I also watch sensual straight porn now”- it might be helpful to take a break from watching any kind of porn because it may be reinforcing the intrusive thoughts and making it more difficult to find clarity.
If you’re seeking reassurance about your sexual orientation by watching porn to see if you feel attraction to men or women, it’s important to recognize that this approach is not helping you: despite watching porn, you are still feeling obsessed and unsure about your orientation.
Seeking reassurance in this way actually reinforces the cycle of intrusive thoughts and anxiety. Instead of trying to find answers through porn, I encourage you to consider seeking support from a therapist who specializes in OCD.
“I’m a harsh critic and want to be perfect.”- Being a harsh critic of oneself and striving for perfection are common traits associated with OCD. People with OCD often have high standards for themselves and feel an intense need to perform tasks perfectly. This can lead to excessive checking, repeating, or correcting behaviors to ensure that everything is done “just right.”
Individuals with OCD are often highly self-critical, constantly evaluating their actions and thoughts, feeling that they are never good enough and must always strive for improvement. To cope with the anxiety caused by intrusive thoughts and self-criticism, individuals with OCD engage in compulsive behaviors.
It’s important to recognize that these traits are part of the OCD cycle and can be addressed through therapy and self-compassion.
“I know from my other ocd obsession – my compulsion was searching online for anything relating to the topic. It would consume hours of my day on forums. I ask my sister for reassurance constantly because she has ocd and has gone through similar. I can’t get away from this mental loop.”-
– the mental loop and constant reassurance-seeking are really taking a toll on you. Recognizing these patterns is an important first step. It shows your awareness of the compulsions and how they are affecting your life. Again, seeking professional support from a therapist who specializes in OCD can help you break free from the mental loop.
It’s also important to be kind to yourself during this process. Recovery and managing OCD take time and effort, and it’s okay to reach out for help and support.
* It’s important to distinguish between seeking reassurance and seeking help. For someone with OCD, reassurance (such as “you are not gay”) might provide temporary relief but ultimately reinforces the cycle of intrusive thoughts and anxiety. On the other hand, seeking help from a professional, like a therapist who specializes in OCD, can provide you with real help.
Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Actually, I suffered from OCD for many years but not anymore. Well, there is a tiny bit of a leftover but only a tiny bit.
I recommend that you read my reply to another member on Oct 10, 2024 right above on this page (page 17).
Wishing you strength and clarity as you navigate these challenges. If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here for you.
anita
anitaParticipantDear Aj: I am working on a reply for you.
anita
anitaParticipantDear Aj: I will read and reply in about 12 hours from now.
anita
anitaParticipantDear Jana:
It was Tues 3:05 am when you submitted your post a few moments ago, your time; Mon 6:05 pm when your post appeared here, and 6:20 pm when I submit this post. I will reply further in the morning. I hope you sleep restfully, and that I do too 🌙😴✨
anita
anitaParticipantDear Jana:
You are welcome. It’s completely understandable to feel overwhelmed or freeze in the presence of dominant individuals, especially when their behavior is aggressive and confrontational.
“you say ‘A’ and they have to say ‘b'”- do you ever find yourself as the one who has to say b? Do you ever find yourself as the aggressive, confrontational person.. ever?
There were times- far in between- that I was that person, the dominant, aggressive and confrontational one. I wonder if anyone’s behavior is strictly, consistently one (passive, submissive) OR the other (aggressive, confrontational)?
anita
anitaParticipantHow are you, Peter?
anita
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 