Forum Replies Created
-
AuthorPosts
-
anitaParticipantDear Thomas:
Thank you for caring to participate in this thread and for saying that you would like to hear more about this healing process. It feels good to know that I am not alone here, that you are here, reading, and hopefully post again and again 🙂.
“You felt Anger in real life. Did you have time to choose your actions while feeling anger?”- I had time and at first, I consciously chose to not react.. but then I un-chose my choice 😔
“I mean did thoughts arise that you were being wronged and you needed to come out on top of this one?”- yes, at one point, I felt that I was being wronged, well, repeatedly wronged by this woman (I’ll refer to her as S), over the course of 3 days. Toward the end of the 3rd day, at one point, I felt that I either speak up or I go belly up/ submit to her aggression. In that moment, going belly up was not an option.
“Or did you have the calm mind to decide what to do next. Whether you needed to fight or stay silent?”- no, no calm mind. It was an alert, sort of excited mind, ready for a fight.
“I ask cause I have spent a little time in self observation. Anger tends to be a knee jerk reaction. Feeling slighted and then the thoughts comes out to support one’s position of anger. Boom, losing control.”- it was indeed a Boom. I did feel slighted (S was really rude to me), then she got ruder.. In the final escalation, there were no thoughts at all. So, yes, at the ending of the scene, it really was a knee jerk reaction. I will elaborate on it later.
“I see it as being able to make a choice before it is made for me… What I learned in my meditations is to be present. Not to force thoughts or emotions away but to let them go. Not identify with them.”- I want to explore my thoughts in regard to what happened 4 days ago, and since in following posts.
🌿 🙏 🤍 Anita
anitaParticipantThomas Dear, really, really.. you are welcome to comment 🙂
I like you, Thomas, and I want you here, in the forums.
Keep posting, I truly appreciate you.
You bring up good points, and I’ll reply tomorrow (8:30 pm here- WA, USA, 11:30 pm Albany)
🌿 🤍 Anita
anitaParticipantThank you, Trav!
anitaParticipantDear Going Through Life:
Got you, in regard to terms of a platonic relationship with SS’s friend’s ex-boyfriend. I hope that a deeper friendship does develop 🙂
You do deserve trust and integrity, and these must be the cornerstones of your relationships, platonic or otherwise!
🤍🌿 Anita
October 9, 2025 at 10:58 am in reply to: A.N.G.E.R (trigger warning, child abuse material is included) #450743
anitaParticipantDear Readers:
I am feeling uncomfortable with the title I chose for this thread, “anger” in big case letters. I can almost hear the title screaming/ yelling, and I don’t like it. And so, I am abandoning this thread and am starting a new one titled “A Personal Reckoning”.
🌿 🤍 Anita
anitaParticipantYou are welcome, Tom!
I wonder if you’re already on the plane, being that you posted exactly an hour ago (by the time I submit this post). If you are, I hope that you do have a good sleep and a safe flight.
If you want to elaborate on the self-doubt, please do.
(I used to suffer from lots and lots of self-doubt and know how draining that is!)
🌿 🤍 Anita
anitaParticipantDear Going Through Life:
I am glad that you feel safe working under your father and that he is guiding you like you always wanted 🙂
Also, I am 🙂 that you are starting to forgive her and yourself, particularly yourself. You deserve peace in your heart and forgiving yourself for all past mistakes while holding yourself accountable for your behaviors today is the way to go.
And I am 🙂 that you are opening yourself to new possibilities.
In regard to one such new possibility, a romantic one with SS’s ex-boyfriend, I’d say- don’t rush anything, go slow, one step at a time. I’m saying this because the fear of being alone and the need for comfort can cause a person to rush: to feel too much, too soon, without getting to know the person well enough. And as a result, to act too soon.
I think that you need a partner who you can trust, particularly one who is very unlikely to cheat on you. Getting to know the person in this regard before investing emotionally too much will be very helpful.
I wonder how he feels about his experience of being cheated on. Talking about it more (if you already talked about it) will give you information in regard to shared values/ compatibility on this important matter.
🤍🌈🌿 Anita
anitaParticipantDear Going Through Life:
I hear your pain, I hear your angst. I am glad you have your mother and sister to comfort you.
I think that the ship has sailed, so to speak, as far as she’s concerned.
Time to recover, time for a new beginning.
🤍🌿 Anita
anitaParticipantDear Thomas:
You are indeed very welcome here!
Please keep posting, you have lots to say and I want to hear more of your thoughts, your wisdom.
Respectfully,
🤍🌿 Anita
anitaParticipantHi Peter: Yes, I agree.
The illusion isn’t the pain or the body. The illusion is the story of separation—the belief that “I” am alone, or that pain means something is wrong with me.
Healing means meeting the pain without shame, without blame, and with presence.
Healing happens only after safety and care. Then one might gently explore the illusion of “I”—not to erase the wound, but to loosen the grip of identity around it.
“You are not only this. It says, When you are ready, there is more.”- yes, more, Peter.
More.
🤍🌿 Anita
October 8, 2025 at 11:42 am in reply to: A.N.G.E.R (trigger warning, child abuse material is included) #450708
anitaParticipantHello Everyone-
Continued:
My childhood experience resulted in the perception that I was Alone, one separated and removed from everyone else.
All Alone.
A long, long.. long Alone experience, eternal, so it felt.
Year after year, decade after decade.. an eternal, never ending string of long, too long moments, days, eternally stretched seconds of Aloneness.
This is the pain, that Never-Ending Aloneness (NEA).
And in that NEA, there was Anger (A.N.G.E.R) as strong as the desire to be Together.. to no longer be Alone.
This is why I find healing in these public forums. As I am typing this, I know someone is reading, and so, I am not Alone.
You are reading!
You are important to me because with you here: I am not Alone.
Please tell me about you, if you are reading, if I never heard from you..
Tell me about you..?
Seeking connection.
🌿 🤍 Anita
anitaParticipantYou are welcome, Tom!
“I will do my best and at the end of the day, that is all I can do.”-
I will add to the above: sincerely, Tom:
Your best is good enough. Please let this truth sink in 💡
🌿 🤍 Anita
anitaParticipantHello Dear Q 😊,
“close the door”-
Close the door on what? (If you can type away whatever comes to your mind..?)
🤍🌿 Anita
anitaParticipantDear Going Through Life:
Thank you for letting me know.. no mention, promise!
I just feel grateful for this precious opportunity to go Through Life alongside you 🙏🤍
About my life.. there are quite a few threads I started here in the forums where I shared about my life. I’d say my life is quite emotional.. a journey of healing and becoming more and more the person I want to be: attuned, caring, relational, healed in places I need healing.
🤍🌿 Anita
anitaParticipantHi Everyone:
Thank you, James 🙏🤍🌈
Dear Thomas:
I appreciate your thoughts and agree with lots of them. I particularly feel positively about you idea that people in trauma are often trying to reclaim their sense of self, not dissolve it.
For trauma survivors, the loss of self isn’t liberation—it’s fragmentation. Healing often requires reclaiming the self, not dissolving it.
I like you advocating for compassionate presence, especially in trauma recovery, and expressing that wisdom without compassion is alienating; it doesn’t help those in pain.
I also very much like your idea that real spirituality is about meeting people where they are, not speaking from a mountaintop, and that truth must be communicated in ways people can understand. Helping others means coming down from the mountain, seeing them eye to eye.
I particularly like what you wrote here: “Here, people are looking for a safe space to vent their lives and feel alive again… I ask that you bring your wisdom down to those who need the help.”.
Overall, I am truly, positively impressed with your input, Thomas 🙏🤍🌈.
Having said the above, your delivery has been confrontational and your tone carried an aggressive edge at times, beginning with your 3rd and 4th sentence on this thread (Oct 4): “Cause aren’t you preaching your knowledge. Could ask what are you selling??”- that’s confrontational/ accusatory, implying that James is pushing an agenda rather than sharing sincerely.
I am not one to judge on the matter of aggressive tone, Thomas, because there’s been plenty of aggressive edge in my deliveries. I am working on that edge currently in my own thread (appropriately titled “A.N.G.E.R…”) So, trust me: I am not trying to shame you.. just saying that gentler delivery on both of our parts is wise.. and compassionate.
🤍🌿 Anita
-
AuthorPosts
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 