Forum Replies Created
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anitaParticipantDear Drew:
You’re very welcome! I’m glad to read that you found my reply comprehensive and helpful. It’s great that you have a plan of approach and are ready to go back to your GP’s practice. I understand that the initial dismissal was frustrating, but it’s encouraging to read that you usually have good experiences with them.
With a well-thought-out strategy, I’m hopeful they’ll consider investigating further this time. If you ever need additional support or have more questions along the way, don’t hesitate to reach out.
Best of luck with everything, and take care! Bye for now,
anita
anitaParticipantDear Peter:
Compassionate action involves taking actions driven by empathy, kindness, and genuine concern for the well-being of others. It means recognizing the suffering of others and responding in ways that aim to alleviate that suffering, promote well-being, and foster a sense of connection and support.
“That the individual ‘awakening’ might then influence the whole. I know that as a possibility but also a trap that if it becomes an intention or desire itself will create suffering,”- This highlights the delicate balance between accepting reality as it is and hoping for a better reality. It’s about avoiding the pitfalls of despair on one hand and denial on the other.
“I don’t feel ‘bad’ about feeling ‘bad’ about current happenings. A step forward as that has been an old trap I often fell into – Feeling bad about feeling bad about feeling bad…”-
Primary Emotion (feeling bad): The initial, immediate emotional response to a situation or event. This could include sadness, frustration, anger, or any other negative emotion.
Secondary Emotion (feeling bad about feeling bad): For example, feeling guilty about feeling angry or feeling embarrassed about feeling sad. The secondary emotion adds another layer of distress on top of the original, primary negative feeling.
Tertiary Emotion (feeling bad about feeling bad about feeling bad): Experiencing yet another, third layer of emotional response. For instance, feeling angry with oneself for feeling guilty about feeling angry. This creates a cycle of compounded negative emotions, making it harder to cope with the original issue. Overthinking amplifies this process, giving us more opportunities to judge ourselves and add layers of negative emotions.
The significant step forward you describe is your ability to break this cycle of compounded negative emotions. By accepting your initial, primary negative emotions without judging yourself for feeling them, you prevent the addition of further layers of distress. This acceptance builds resilience.
Thank you for liking my poem!
anita
anitaParticipantDear Drew:
After submitting my last post to you, I realized that I focused primarily on the unintentional vocalization of your thoughts and neglected the second part of your post. Based on what you shared about your lifelong struggle with controlling your responses, there are potential conditions that might be relevant. While only a qualified healthcare professional can provide a definitive diagnosis, here are some conditions you might consider:
Impulse Control Disorders (ICDs): These are mental health conditions characterized by difficulties in controlling impulses and behaviors that can cause harm to oneself or others. These disorders often involve actions that are aggressive, destructive, or socially inappropriate. Here are two types that might be relevant:
Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED): This involves sudden episodes of unwarranted anger and aggression. Individuals with IED may have outbursts that are disproportionate to the situation.
Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD): Although more common in children, ODD can persist into adulthood. It involves a pattern of uncooperative, defiant, and hostile behavior toward authority figures.
Your thread title, “SELF CONTROL,” aligns with the challenges posed by impulse control disorders. You mentioned reacting impulsively to situations in ways you regret, which fits well with characteristics of these disorders. Your desire to respond in a controlled and deliberate manner indicates self-awareness and a wish for better impulse control.
Towards the end of your post, you wrote:
“What I WANT to do in all such situations is be fully aware of what’s going on, be fully aware of what I’m doing, and RESPOND in a deliberate, controlled, assertive way; and ideally be calm too. Have any of you managed this? If so, how? If not – PLEASE DON’T RESPOND!”-
Your use of uppercase letters and strong language indicates intense emotional responses, which align with IED. People with IED often experience sudden outbursts of anger and frustration. Your frustration with not being able to control your responses reflects a key aspect of IED, where individuals wish for better control over their impulses and reactions.
Your emphatic instruction to not receive unsolicited advice (“PLEASE DON’T RESPOND!”) and your frustration with well-meaning people fit the defiant and oppositional behavior seen in ODD.
While your posts exhibit behaviors and feelings that may align with these disorders, it’s essential to remember that a comprehensive evaluation by a mental health professional is necessary for an accurate diagnosis. Your unique symptoms and experiences need to be assessed in the context of your overall mental health and history.
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a recommended treatment for impulse control disorders. It starts with a comprehensive assessment to understand your specific symptoms, triggers, and the situations in which you struggle the most. Together, you and your therapist would set clear, achievable goals for therapy, which might include learning to control your vocalizations and managing your impulsive reactions.
CBT involves cognitive restructuring, which helps identify and challenge negative or irrational thoughts contributing to impulsive behaviors. For example, if you think, “I can’t control myself,” a therapist would help you reframe this thought to something more positive and empowering, like “I can learn strategies to manage my impulses.”
Skills training is also a key component of CBT, where you can learn specific skills to help control your impulses and vocalizations. This includes developing strategies to handle difficult situations more effectively, allowing you to respond rather than react.
I suffered from impulse control issues myself and had CBT therapy for two years (2011-13), achieving great success with impulse control, and will gladly share more about it with you, if you are interested.
You’re not alone in this journey, Drew, and I believe in your strength to overcome these challenges.
anita
anitaParticipantDear Peter:
Yesterday, I considered discussing politics with you, but I decided against it. Even if you’re interested (and I should ask you first), it’s probably not the best idea given that this is a public forum.
It’s understandable to feel overwhelmed by anxiety and hopelessness, especially when it is difficult to distinguish between your own feelings and those you absorb from others. This heightened sensitivity can be, in different contexts, a gift or a curse.
Witnessing unkindness, particularly from those close to us, can be deeply disheartening. It’s important to remember that while we can’t control others’ actions, we can control our responses and strive to create a more compassionate and empathetic environment in our own lives.
Kierkegaard’s quote resonates with the idea of longing for a future that feels out of reach. It’s a powerful reminder of the pain that can come from unmet expectations and dreams.
Langston Hughes: “What happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun? Or fester like a sore—And then run?”
Oscar Wilde: “The tragedy of old age is not that one is old, but that one is young.”
F. Scott Fitzgerald: “So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”
A little poem for you, Peter:
Regret may linger, shadows of past,
But strength lies within, steadfast and vast.
For every setback, a chance to rise,
A beacon of hope, in tearful eyes.The whispers of dreams, they never cease,
In moments of quiet, find your peace.
Though paths may twist, and storms may rage,
Your story unfolds, on life’s grand stage.Each step a story newly told,
In dreams unmet, a spirit bold.anita
anitaParticipantDear Drew (or do you prefer DREW?):
Thank you for your thoughtful response and for sharing more about your situation. I understand that finding the right diagnosis and treatment can be challenging, especially with the added difficulty of accessing specialists and not being able to afford private treatment.
“I dismissed Tourette’s outright as I believed it’s always congenital, but if you’re right that it can be brought on throughout life, and even triggered by some medicines, then that fits with my suspicion that my involuntary vocalizations may have been caused by the pill I was taking when mine started.”
Tourette Syndrome (TS) is generally considered congenital, meaning it is present from birth and often manifests in early childhood, with the average onset occurring between the ages of 5 and 7 years old. It is strongly influenced by genetic factors, and it often runs in families.
While rare, there are documented cases of TS developing in adulthood. These cases may be triggered by factors such as stress, neurological injuries, infections, or certain medications.
“I don’t know about other tic disorders though – I’d need to research that.”
Tic disorders that include involuntary vocalizations, such as voicing thoughts out loud, include the following:
Tourette Syndrome (TS): Multiple motor tics and at least one vocal tic present for more than one year.
Persistent (Chronic) Motor or Vocal Tic Disorder: Either motor tics or vocal tics (but not both) present for more than one year.
Provisional Tic Disorder: Motor and/or vocal tics present for at least four weeks but less than one year.
Other Specified Tic Disorder: Tics that do not meet the criteria for the above disorders but still cause significant distress or impairment. The duration and presentation can vary.
Unspecified Tic Disorder: Tics present, but there is not enough information to make a more specific diagnosis. The duration varies.
Medication-induced tics are not classified as a separate tic disorder. Instead, they are considered a type of movement disorder caused by the side effects of certain medications. These tics can resemble those seen in tic disorders but are specifically triggered by medication use.
“I also don’t recognize the medicines you list, but perhaps mine is a culprit.”
The medications I mentioned, which can lead to the development of tics as a side effect, have different brand names. Here are some examples:
Methylphenidate: Ritalin, Concerta, Equasym XL, Medikinet, and Delmosart.
Dextroamphetamine: Dexedrine, Amfexa.
Haloperidol: Haldol, Serenace.
Risperidone: Risperdal, Consta.
There are several other medications that can result in tics or tic-like symptoms. These include medications that treat psychiatric symptoms, nausea and other gastroenterological issues (examples: Metoclopramide, promethazine, prochlorperazine, levosulpiride), allergies (examples: Hydroxyzine, promethazine), and antiepileptics.
“I have wondered about ADHD but only regarding impulse control: I’d never heard of it linked to vocalizing thoughts. But I thought that unlikely as I generally don’t have trouble concentrating; certainly not to the extent that I’ve heard described as typical for ADHD.”
It is possible to be diagnosed with ADHD even if not all of the symptoms apply. ADHD is a spectrum disorder, and different individuals present different combinations of symptoms with differing severity, often without all the listed symptoms being present.
If there’s anything more I can do to support you or if you have any further questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out. Wishing you all the best. Take care and stay strong 💪!
anita
anitaParticipantDear n20:
Thank you for coming back and sharing this update!
On June 30, 2024, you shared that you struggled with anxiety your entire life, which had significantly worsened over the past year, leading to your first experience with depression and a diagnosis of OCD. Despite feeling overwhelmed by the persistent nature of your mental health issues, you held onto hope for improvement and sought support from others with similar experiences while working on self-compassion and living in the moment.
Fast forward almost 8 months, and it’s lovely to see your photos and stories of world travel. You look wonderful, and your positive energy truly shines through!
In “Lesson Learned,” you recounted your harrowing journey of seeking validation and help for your worsening health issues. You advocated for yourself and underwent extensive medical testing, which eventually revealed lesions on your brain indicative of multiple sclerosis (MS). Further testing results were negative for MS, and you did not share a definitive diagnosis regarding the cause of the lesions, as far as I can tell.
You shared your story to provide hope to others who might be struggling, emphasizing that it is possible to feel better and emerge stronger from immense suffering. You reflected on how accepting your emotions, including suicidal thoughts, helped you move through the pain. Now, you have new ambitions, including pursuing a PhD program and reconnecting with family. You expressed gratitude for the experience, despite its challenges, as it has profoundly changed your life and provided you with valuable insights. You now understand the significance of happiness and suffering and can look back at this time for strength in future hardships.
It’s inspiring, n20, to read how far you have come despite facing serious health issues affecting your brain. Your strength and resilience are truly admirable, and I’m so glad to read that you’re finally getting the help you need.
Your journey is a powerful reminder that there is hope, even in the most challenging times. It’s heartening to know that you’re proud of your progress, and it’s uplifting for others who might be going through similar struggles.
Your story will undoubtedly provide hope and encouragement to anyone reading it. Thank you for being brave enough to share your experience and for offering a beacon of hope to others.
Wishing you continued strength, healing, and positivity on your journey.
anita
anitaParticipantDear Drew: You are welcome and no worries about when you respond. I want to thoroughly read and reply to you Wed morning (it’s Tues afternoon here).
anita
anitaParticipantDear Peter:
I want to reply further when I am more focused Wed morning.
anita
anitaParticipantDear Zenith:
And how are you feeling about it, about the manager talking you out of applying to the internal job and about you changing your mind about it?
anita
anitaParticipantDear Peter:
I understand about the news these days being overwhelming and concerning. During these challenging times, it’s important to take care of yourself and find moments of peace amidst the chaos. Your well-being is important, and taking care of yourself will help you stay resilient.
anita
anitaParticipantDear Aj:
Thank you for your thoughtful response. I’m glad to read that you’ve started recognizing the patterns of reassurance-seeking and how it affects you. This awareness is an important step towards managing your OCD.
It’s great that you’ve taken your sister’s advice to give into the uncertainty and stop your compulsions, even if it’s challenging, and that you deleted the internet for now and feel better for it. The “Maybe, maybe not” technique can be difficult at first, but it’s encouraging to read that you’re starting to feel clearer-minded.
Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Seeking professional support from a therapist who specializes in OCD can provide you with the tools and strategies to manage these thoughts effectively.
Wishing you strength and clarity as you navigate these challenges.
anita
anitaParticipantDear Aj:
“I’ve been diagnosed with health ocd.. why is my brain now suddenly saying that everything I want is a woman now- when never in my life have I thought that?”- I understand that you’re feeling confused and distressed by these sudden thoughts. Given your diagnosis of OCD, it’s important to recognize that OCD causes intrusive thoughts that may be completely unrelated to your true desires and feelings.
In your case, the sudden intrusive thoughts about your sexual orientation is an example of how OCD manifests. These thoughts are likely a result of your brain’s tendency to latch onto uncertainties and create doubt, even when there’s no real basis for it. The fact that you’ve never had romantic or sexual interest in women and have always been attracted to men suggests that these thoughts are not reflective of your true desires but are rather a symptom of your OCD.
It’s important to seek support from a therapist who specializes in OCD. They can help you develop strategies to manage these intrusive thoughts and reduce the impact they have on your life.
“I watch male on male porn now… I also watch sensual straight porn now”- it might be helpful to take a break from watching any kind of porn because it may be reinforcing the intrusive thoughts and making it more difficult to find clarity.
If you’re seeking reassurance about your sexual orientation by watching porn to see if you feel attraction to men or women, it’s important to recognize that this approach is not helping you: despite watching porn, you are still feeling obsessed and unsure about your orientation.
Seeking reassurance in this way actually reinforces the cycle of intrusive thoughts and anxiety. Instead of trying to find answers through porn, I encourage you to consider seeking support from a therapist who specializes in OCD.
“I’m a harsh critic and want to be perfect.”- Being a harsh critic of oneself and striving for perfection are common traits associated with OCD. People with OCD often have high standards for themselves and feel an intense need to perform tasks perfectly. This can lead to excessive checking, repeating, or correcting behaviors to ensure that everything is done “just right.”
Individuals with OCD are often highly self-critical, constantly evaluating their actions and thoughts, feeling that they are never good enough and must always strive for improvement. To cope with the anxiety caused by intrusive thoughts and self-criticism, individuals with OCD engage in compulsive behaviors.
It’s important to recognize that these traits are part of the OCD cycle and can be addressed through therapy and self-compassion.
“I know from my other ocd obsession – my compulsion was searching online for anything relating to the topic. It would consume hours of my day on forums. I ask my sister for reassurance constantly because she has ocd and has gone through similar. I can’t get away from this mental loop.”-
– the mental loop and constant reassurance-seeking are really taking a toll on you. Recognizing these patterns is an important first step. It shows your awareness of the compulsions and how they are affecting your life. Again, seeking professional support from a therapist who specializes in OCD can help you break free from the mental loop.
It’s also important to be kind to yourself during this process. Recovery and managing OCD take time and effort, and it’s okay to reach out for help and support.
* It’s important to distinguish between seeking reassurance and seeking help. For someone with OCD, reassurance (such as “you are not gay”) might provide temporary relief but ultimately reinforces the cycle of intrusive thoughts and anxiety. On the other hand, seeking help from a professional, like a therapist who specializes in OCD, can provide you with real help.
Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Actually, I suffered from OCD for many years but not anymore. Well, there is a tiny bit of a leftover but only a tiny bit.
I recommend that you read my reply to another member on Oct 10, 2024 right above on this page (page 17).
Wishing you strength and clarity as you navigate these challenges. If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here for you.
anita
anitaParticipantDear Aj: I am working on a reply for you.
anita
anitaParticipantDear Aj: I will read and reply in about 12 hours from now.
anita
anitaParticipantHow are you, Peter?
anita
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AuthorPosts
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 