Dear James123:

“When the body and mind are filled with judgment, separation, and endless thinking, that is hell. But when the heart holds love—pure, selfless, and without expectation—that is heaven.”-

It’s quite recently that my thinking has been evolving from black-and-white/ all-or-nothing/ binary thinking ===> shades of grey, color, nuance, context, different angles from which to view a complex situation.

Trying to understand the sentence I quoted above using binary thinking, I would have thought that you are suggesting that it’s possible for (an evolved) human being to entertain no judgmental thoughts and to love selflessly all the time, forever more (which would have made me feel very inadequate, ha-ha).

To soften judgment in most circumstances and to redirect judgment to empathy, again and again- that’s possible. To find relief from overthinking, that “endless thinking” you mentioned, which I personally know too well- that’s HEAVENLY.

I said it before, you have a lot to offer people: Love and Clarity.

💖 🙏 Anita

Dear James123:

Double posting- I submitted the above before I became aware of your most recent post. I will read and contemplate it later, and if you’re willing to answer my post before this one, I will be grateful. My goal is to learn from you.

Anita

Once again, James123: I am in awe at a flawless answer. Thank you!

Anita

Dear Dafne:

Thank you for your beautiful message. I felt deeply moved reading your words. It means so much to me that you saw the tenderness in what I shared.

Yes—something did shift in me. I think our reconnection opened a space I didn’t know I needed. Feeling empathy for the younger me was new, and I wanted to tell you because it felt like part of that shift came from being in a deeper connection with you.

I hear you about the inner child. It’s not easy. I’ve known about the concept for many years, yet I didn’t even realize I hadn’t felt empathy for her—until the other day, when I actually did. That moment of empathy felt like an emotional 🤗 I extended to her, and for a few moments, her bodily tension evaporated. She was calm.

You just… don’t know what you don’t yet know. Know what I mean 🙂? These things can’t be forced.

Thank you for seeing me, Dafne, and for sharing your heart so openly. I feel the connection too.

Sending love and warmth back to you 💓 Anita

Dear James123:

I want to meditate on your words and incorporate words from the poem I quoted on your other thread:

“The body knows exactly how to react”- if I live with the world inside me. If I am alive no less than shells, buildings, people, fish, mountains, trees, wood, water.

Shame, guilt, fear, anger- these blocked the life within me for a very, very long time.

I remember, I was in my 20s, and found myself in the middle of a busy street, startled by a truck passing by me a few steps away. I was sort of sleep walking into the street. My body did not react to danger, did not know how to react.

I didn’t radically accept the fear, shame and guilt, anger. I didn’t process and release, so they stayed, dimming my light and life.

“When fear comes, you don’t resist it; you let it be seen.”- I resisted fear, and in turn, it resisted me.

Instead of integration of emotions and awareness, there was fragmentation and sleep walking through life.

“Radical Acceptance is… about accepting what is happening inside you / your thoughts, emotions, fears, and impulses without resistance. It’s a full acknowledgment that life, including all feelings, is unfolding exactly as it is.”-

Hosaka says…Look, feel, let life take you by the hand. Let life live through you.

To not resist life within me. To witness it within-without. To see myself in others, to let myself be seen.

🤍 🌱 🕸️ Anita

Dear James123:

“…Pure Consciousness allows the fear to arise, and the body acts naturally, flawlessly, without interference..”- and flawlessly explained, if I may say so. I am so impressed with your understandings. You have so much to offer others.

I want to reread and sit with this for a while before I respond further tomorrow or the next day. Thank you so much!

Anita

Dear Dafne:

Thank you for seeing not just the words, but the heart behind them. It means so much to feel received with such kindness and openness.

You’re right—sometimes even with those closest to us, there can be a quiet ache of loneliness. That’s why exchanges like ours feel so meaningful. They remind me that connection can be found in unexpected places, and that compassion doesn’t need physical proximity to be felt.

Your words especially moved me: “What you offered wasn’t just an answer, it was a moment of connection.”- Answers are plentiful in spaces like these, but connection—that’s something different. It’s rarer, more precious than any clinical understanding of things, no matter how accurate (or not) that understanding may be.

We are not puzzles to be solved intellectually. We’re living, breathing beings who need—sometimes desperately—empathy. An emotional hug, if not a physical one.

That reminds me of something I wanted to share with you this morning, just before getting out of bed. Only recently—perhaps a couple of weeks ago—I had an image of myself as a young girl, somewhere in the first decade of life. I saw her scared. And for the first time, I felt something new: empathy for her. I was struck by how unfamiliar that feeling was.

All this time, I had been dissociated from her—split off. I think I kept telling her story here, again and again, because I was trying to connect with her. Trying to believe that what I was sharing had truly happened.

The dissociation ran deep and began so early. I suppose it was an instinctive response to acute emotional pain and fear—a way of saying, this isn’t really happening… I’m not really here.

I’m grateful for your presence, Dafne, and for the way you hold space with such grace. Thank you for meeting me in this place with warmth and humanity.

With appreciation and tenderness, Anita 💖💫