Hi there JournoGirl,

My sympathies to you. Although I did not read every part of your story, it basically can be described as the bridge analogy between two individuals. It certainly looks as if you have been doing all the work to connect with him on the “other side”. Of course that can be frustrating because you are doing all the work to try and connect with him. Just as Anita mentioned, it would be best to break away from this emotionally draining….. well suffocating situation no matter what your husband tries to do to try and string this relationship along. If this continues it will be as if you are digging a hole each and every time deeper and deeper and to be honest JournoGirl, I can hardly see you with the deep hole you have dug.
All the best.
Thank you and take care.
-85

Hey there nsuri,
Frankly I’m having difficulty understanding your situation as well. It looks as if meeting women ( online or in person) is not an issue for you. I will say that after reading your posts, there is something inside of you that is holding you back from developing relationships. Whether it is the frustration or comparing game. While human beings do in fact want love and I understand where Anita is coming from, desperate and love/relationships are not a good mix, not to mention for your mindset. Instead just continue your life lessening the “need” for a relationship and just want it. Make sure if anyone asks about your limp, use humor to your advantage and a great girl will notice this and may want to know you better. Hope that helped and all the best to you.
Thank you and take care.
-85

That a boy Brav3,

Congratulations on applying this mindset to your life. With a positive attitude and these principles you’ll be stronger in relationships/marriages even when change occurs. All the best.
Thank you and take care
-85

Hey there thoughtful,

First off don’t worry. I too am in my mid twenties and have never been in a healthy fully functioning relationship, disregarding toxic interactions. But I have come to a point in my life that I was/ am responsible for the lack of relationships, but as well give thanks to God/life that those people are no longer in my life. Recently over the past four years my life has become much more magical and my first priority in my life is to leave my legacy. So yes, aside from family, friends/relationships will come and go. I have faith that only the best people will surround me. Don’t worry about what’s going on with your peers and their relationships. Remember they are showing only the good times. Many still have no idea who they are and are “clueless” in relationships and marriages. Take this time as a learning tool to work on yourself so that you stand out from the rest. All the best.

Thank you & take care.
85

See Brav3,
It doesn’t help you if you stay connected to the grapevine, but rather work on getting back into that state of mind that made you the life of the party.

Btw: Just out of curiosity, while you’re working on yourself and if you happen to get invited to another party, I’ll be more than happy to take your place in between those two girls for you.

Hey there Dave.

The fact that you stood up to her and told her that you require honesty was the moment you showed her you were a great guy and the moment your confidence was at an all time high. After that, you pretty much shot yourself in the foot reopening old wounds. When she returned back to the gym, “going back” to her and trying to restart something was a mistake. I am aware due to the depression & anxiety you felt compelled to talk things out with her, but in reality it made you look as if you were apologizing for wanting to date. I mean REALLY, isn’t that what you wanted? Actions speak louder than words. Just imagine you were in her mindset; she returns back to the gym and you are there working out, focusing on you and just acknowledging her with a hello and moving on. In her mind she would be: “Wow that guy really meant what he said and stands by it. He does not deal with mind games.” At which she may have come over to you and started to put some effort. You did too much work Dave.
But anyway, don’t dwell on this. Even if you may still see her at the gym and she may do things to annoy you; flirt with other guys, etc. Just brush it off because she will be using the same motives on others. As for your depression and anxiety, working out does certainly help. As for the not being in a relationship, use it to your advantage. This past experience should make you stronger. Also don’t be afraid to try it out again with another “nice” girl. Once again if that girl fails to keep connection or put any effort after a few attempts, move on REALLY move on. I can understand 2 or 3, because stuff does happen, but you are now are hip to the excuses and aloofness.

All the best
Thank you and take care

Hello there David. Nice to “meet you” and I would very much like to help you out. I too just like you was in the same emotional state, but guess what I’m free and clear today. It was not easy, but I pulled through. For me the last straw was after all the back and forth, restablishing contact and experiencing the dreaded silent treatment followed by an excuse after I tried to be real and vulnerable. That was the catalyst. In the months that followed, I got back and “focused” on my career while at the same time trying to heal myself. One tool that I used was on YouTube and watching videos from Robert Wong’s Self Redirection channel. It really did help. Learning that others behavior are not your responsibility and that they are just hurting, sometimes even worse than you are. Improve your self control/ discipline by blocking her out of your life; real and social and start healing yourself. It can truly be accomplished. Thanks and take care.

Hey there Rocky,
The important thing to do is NOT to act upon your feelings. While everything may look gloom and doom, it will pass. One way to combat suicidal thoughts is to refocus your mind on one little bright moment from your life and stick with that thought. As well, practicing gratitude will certainly do a great job of battling the thoughts. If things continue to get worse, since this is only a site you may want to call a hotline or see a specialist for that one on one human communication/interaction.
Stay strong Rocky
Thank you and take care