Hi there satya,
Regarding this whole situation, after you told her that you like her is when things started going a bit downhill. First off, telling her that you like her and not getting any response/ reply back is a bad sign. A woman who knows you are interested but does not want to hurt you would give you some kind of polite reply. As for the fear that you have that she might reject you, well because of your actions and texting her asking if you are bothering her , you’ve already lost. You may still be constantly thinking of her, but she is not thinking of you. Understand?
If this girl still means something to you, then the only way is to have her come to you. You have already done too much, don’t even bother to ask her out. Focus on yourself and your work.
One more thing, don’t take her no reply personally. If she does that now imagine being in a relationship with her and you’re back on here asking for help because you told her you loved her, etc and she never acknowledged you.
Thank you and take care

Well said Annie.
One other possibility is like Annie said is that something may be going on in her life and whenever you ask to hang out, she’s scared and acting from fear. Or she could just be immature. Whatever the case my boy, don’t spend time investigating and go LIVE YOUR LIFE!
Thank you and take care.

Hey Brian,
If the problem you’re having is running out of things to talk about, then you just need to find new things to talk about. Say when you’re driving and you see that you are running low on fuel, do you sit there/ or keep driving worrying how you are going to solve the issue, no. You automatically know you have to get to a station and refuel your car. The same can be applied to you. Your body/mind is similar to a car and whenever you are running low on things to say/ or do with friends, ou know to go refuel. Refuel by however means you need. Whether it’s learning a new skill/hobby to talk and teach your friends or just go and do a new activity or visit a new place with your friends. With your best friend, there is still time for summer fun and if not autumn is also great with all the fun activities (corn mazes, pumpkins, Halloween). There you go Halloween is a great time. Go to a party with your best friend and show her and others that you have become very interesting. Relate to others and be as diverse as possible and you should be able to maintain friendships.
Thank you and take care.

Hey there Bill.
Hope things are getting better for you and you have found some sort of employment to pay for basic needs. Don’t let fear hold you back from anything. We are all cheering for you.
All the best to you.
Thank you and take care.

• This reply was modified 9 years, 3 months ago by Adam P.

Hi there CT,

Thank you very much for your wishes.
Ah, yes the dreaded thought that all medical students have. (Yes, it has even crossed my mind.) I’m giving up spending time with friends/ social life to become a doctor and fulfill a dream. But remember, it’s not high school where friends live across town or another nearby town, people move on. Even if they live nearby, other things are placed higher on the list; career, marriage/kids, etc. Remember CT, just because it may look as if everyone else has their act together, they don’t. While you’re pushing through school and residency, other friends are getting married, buying homes, having children, etc. But what you don’t see is how they may not be happy in their marriages, stress from work impacts and disrupts family life. Divorce, job loss, debt and death affect us all. Yes, I know the 20’s and 30’s are the years to get a job and enjoy life. But why can’t it be the other way? Enjoying life in your 40s and 50s while others are picking up the pieces and are “starting over and feeling behind”. Get it?
Anyway, regarding your girlfriend, it’s good to see you are talking about your problems. I like your description about lying in bed with nobody next to you. Remember, your career will never wake up one day and tell you that they don’t love you anymore.
All the best
Thank you and take care

Hey there cst,
First, don’t bring me down lol. I’m really excited to enter med school/ residency, just as soon as I handle my “obstacles and setbacks”. As well I want to say thank you to you because as a doctor you are teaching me something about the stress of residency and handling a relationship. How much is the copay? My insurance should cover the rest.
Anyway regarding your situation, it’s good that you have stayed busy to keep your mind off of the relationship. From your post, it seems as if your girlfriend is quite a free spirited and independent woman who wants to better her education and mingle with her friends. Now as an intern, you do have a right to feel tired and exhausted, but it seems that whenever you were “low” around her, she was not comfortable herself. You stated that she has yet to start her internship. I’m sure when she goes through it, she’ll understand what you went through, but maybe she is the type of person that enters situations with a positive energetic attitude and can keep it going. I know I know how can a person maintain energy and excitement during the hard times of intern/residency.
But if you’re feeling lost and hopeless regarding the situation with your girlfriend, just remember you would not say it to any of your patients, so why say it to yourself.
Thank you and take care.

Hey there Bill,

Regarding your situation, don’t worry so much about dating/having a family, because the only focus should be on yourself right now. As for your employment situation, the most important thing to do is keep on pushing through. You said that you have a MA degree. Whatever the field was, keep your focus on it while still sending out resumes to every job that you want. I know in this economy, everyone has a Bachelors and most of them go on to earn their Masters and find themselves in a similar situation as yourself.
But you have to remember that out there in the workforce, there are individuals that have decent paying jobs and they only have their high school degree. Yes, I’m aware that they could have started years ago (15-20 yrs. ago) when things i.e. the economy was different. The motivation that you need to find is that “push” to get up each and everyday and know that you are going to get hired for that job you want. Start simple and apply at retail stores just so that you can maintain shelter, food, etc. If you like sports, apply to a sporting goods store. If you like hospitality, apply to a hotel. Get the pattern. Along with those jobs, apply for any type of computer/ office based jobs. Let me tell you something, while I’m facing another setback with my dream and looking for new employment, I applied to different companies that I never worked before or where my major was not relevant to the business. I have been called back for interviews/open house, but have not heard back until I received an offer from another different job location. In a way you have to have that kind of “nothing to lose attitude”. While searching online, don’t feel intimated by the amount of information companies post regarding their “ideal candidate”. Send in your resume and wait for the results.
As well that final statement in your post; “I just am not going to have a good life” needs to be changed to ” I have a good life and it’s getting better everyday.” Say that message to yourself and send it out into the world and keeping searching and things WILL turn out well.
Thank You and take care.

Hi there Gracie,

Well you’ll never know if you don’t try. If you’re currently in a relationship, leaving it to improve yourself will most likely be a challenge for you. For people, when usually faced with a challenge, it’s fight or flight.
If you’re currently in a relationship and want to leave and improve yourself, there will be two things that can happen
1. Your partner will be understanding and support you in your pursuit of self improvement or
2. Your partner will want to hold on to you and not let go because they NEED you. (With this, you’ll be looking right in a mirror image of yourself aka like attracts like).
But if you’re single or have faced the challenge of leaving a relationship, congratulations you’re halfway there. While single you need to occupy your mind with thoughts such as “What can I do today to better myself?” or “What activities/skills do I have to enjoy today.”
Use your wandering mind and be curious about what you can do. Ever watch sports on TV and wonder what it would be like to play tennis or golf. Go and buy/borrow some used equipment and try it out for yourself. Ever take your car for on oil change and wonder what each part under the hood is/does, find a book at your library or online and read about it.
There are other things you can do such as learn how to fish, design/decorating, arts/crafts, volunteer, etc.
Afterwards once you have found something and along with work/ and or school, etc. you’ll be busy and having fun that a relationship will be something you no longer rely on to keep you happy.
Take Care
Thank You