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AnyoneParticipantThanks for responding Jas:-)…
Yeah, when you say back to square one as in I’m again worried about something I shouldn’t be? Well, I don’t know if it happens with other women too, but often I find myself being worried or tensed about some or the other thing. That’s how I have always been:-)
About mom, I kind of know she won’t change at this stage and it’s not right for me to try to change her, but I would like to show her a way to suffer less… More because what I have had n suffered, I want to help her to come out of it. Then it’s her choice!
By the way, how do you know it’s night here:-) <-3
AnyoneParticipantCarly,
It’s pretty simple, if the person wants to be with you, he will be true to you.
Your case is similar to what I had gone through. My ex used to start shouting on me and be angry whenever he sensed he was at fault. The night I caught him cheating on me, the next day he was charging me for not sleeping beside him….:-) looking back, now I laugh at it! I was blindly in love with him, and scared of losing him (just like you’re supposedly feeling); and then he used to take undue advantage by manipulating me.
Please be a strong person, we can’t be depending on someone else’s acceptance for our own existence.
Lots of positivity to you dear….
May 31, 2014 at 9:38 am in reply to: Fear of starting after so many failures and dissappointments #57774AnyoneParticipantDear Sophie,
Sometimes we need someone to give us a boost, motivation, encouragement, appreciation…. And when it’s missing we often tend to feel low. These are the times when we need to remind oursleves that we all are special in this world. And think about all the positive aspects of ourselves. Do things that makes you feel stronger!
If possible, list down on a piece of paper, 25 things you like about yourself. Once you do this, tell me how you feel 🙂
Stay blessed..:-) Lots of positivity and strength to you!!!
AnyoneParticipantHi Anna,
I appreciate your strength for coming along this far. I’m sure you understand yourself better now.
Figure out what you want, and know how to ask for it.
And never again hurt yourslef, in any way. You’re special and a unique person.
Value the gift of life, live each moment of it, with everything you would want to do in this life.
God bless you my dear….Sending your way lots of positivity…:-)
AnyoneParticipantHi Kal,
I extend my sympathy/feelings for what you’re being through.
There are many people in this world and sometimes in our life, whom we fail to understand. Especially when it comes to relationships and why a partner cheats on the other one.I have experienced that it’s not worth to break our heads and precious time to ponder over it and be stuck. For? Nothing! We just need to take a stand for where we want to head. Plan and tread the path you would want for yourself.
You’re a special and unique person in this world. Move on! Also,from your post it seems the relation wasn’t for so long.
Wishing you courage and positivity…:-)
AnyoneParticipantHi SC,
Check if you feel too self-conscious.. Or something petty/considerate might be disturbing you at the back of your mind. Feeling guilty about something?
If any of the above, figure out what is bugging you, bring it in front of you, give it a thought, accept it no matter you were right/wrong, don’t judge yourself too much, accept everything and then let it go! Life is too big too be stuck with small things. And remember, concentrate only on the positive thoughts and ignore the negatives that nag our mind constantly.
Even if it’s difficult to meditate, each time you notice your thoughts wandering, say to yourself, ‘never mind, let me concentrate on what I’m supposed to do’.
Accept yourself the way you’re because you’re special. You are unique, as they say, we don’t share DNA with anyone else in this world. So respect yourself, value yourself enough to live with dignity.
Hope it helps.
Stay blessed..:-)
Lots of positivity to you.AnyoneParticipantBut somewhere I felt good for I conveyed the truth and what was inside me.
The manipulation part needs to be dealt with only one thing…’Ignore’.
AnyoneParticipantShe came home tonight. She tried to be intimate. I took her to cafe outside to avoid this situation and put across what’s inside me and see if she could/would respect.
She asked the reason of break-up and I told her that although she knows, I would still put it, that it’s nothing to do with her, it’s about me who was not comfortable in a lesbian relationship. And it wouldn’t do justice to neither of us if the relation proceeded like this. It’s better to part ways and I would appreciate if she could respect we parting ways.
Sadly, she tried to manipulate again. She said she can’t leave India (me), she would do all her best to be here even though her contract is about to get over.
And I said, if you ask for slap (disrespect) , you would get a slap (disrespect) only. It’s your choice what would you want me to take you as a reference (respect or disrespect).She cried many times to melt my heart. After seeing all this manipulation; I find it amusing how people don’t stop playing games. And the worst part, she thought somebody else has tried to changed my mind and that my ex-husband might be back in my life. May be she tried to know the truth by opening his topic. Yuk!
It doesn’t seem like she would stop following, let’s see what comes next after barring all channels of communication. Hopefully, she will respect the fact that I have neighbors around and she can’t visit my place like this.
AnyoneParticipantIn no way this cheat deserves you! And for sure not your LIFE! You’re way too valuable and precious for your family and friends over this chap.
Break off and move on. Just don’t waste any more time of yours….I agree with Helen, it would be great if you could get care and love from family and friends. You deserve it!
Lots of love and light to you my dear…
AnyoneParticipantLast lines of her mail say…’I don’t want to hire someone to throw/deliver your stuffs at your main door! So please take your call!
AnyoneParticipantShe writes a hate mail, as I have blocked her on calls, messages and no word from my end.
She’s freak because I had not blocked my ex-husband (due to family
didn’t know about our divorce).I’m being blamed and compared to my ex-husband, which is not fair.
Above all, she’s pretending as if she doesn’t realize in 2 years that I don’t feel the way a lesbian should.
The point is- she wants to send my stuffs which are at her place. She wants me to tell her how and where to send.
Ideally she can send through courier, just as she had sent flowers!
So I consider this mail as a provocation to have a reply from me.80% of me says, ‘No need to reply, if she so wants to send my stuffs
after a month, she can courier’. Yes, I need those stuffs, but once I reply, the whole communication chain will start..20% of me says, ‘What if she takes my silence as weakness and knocks
on my door one fine day’. It would mean to take the manipulation
all over again.Please suggest, what would be the right thing to do here. Is it necessary to reply? Yes, I do get lost when my past tries to get in touch.
Thank you for reading my post!
AnyoneParticipantThey say, With rights, come responsibility.
And guess, relationships are no less a responsibility.It seems your hands are often full of things you’re trying
to achieve in life. So when a person enters your life, you like it,
but when it comes to being responsible towards it, you’re lack of
time and resources or you simply prefer or give priority to your goals,
which is not wrong.Hope you got some light.
Cheers!
March 3, 2014 at 1:35 am in reply to: Advice sought: married but never expected my spouse's non-existent past #52144AnyoneParticipantKeith,
What has happened has happened. Now the question arises, what next?
It seems your partner hid about his job out of guilt and shame factor; but also 5 years is quite long time to be holding this critical info from spouse.
You know your spouse better than anyone else here…
So….
1) If you think your partner is loyal to you otherwise, apart from this financial faux pas, and considering he won’t hide anymore. (Aah…also good for you to ask him if there’s anything else he is hiding from you, ask him to be true to you and you will have the answer for most of your questions/concerns) go ahead but you will have to walk on eggs.
2) About consulting Financial Planners, I personally don’t believe much in them, it’s always better to manage our finance ourselves, of course with some tips from friends/colleagues and general know-how. Specially in the situation you’re in. All I mean, trust your instincts more than anybody else’s.
I’m not sure if your query is confined to the financial part or beyond this.
Try to know everything about your spouse from all aspects!
Lots of strength and courage to you…
God Bless you!
AnyoneParticipantAriadne,
This is a sign of low self-esteem. That’s where you could try to work on yourself.
It’s difficult but we can always try.We often get judgmental about people and hence we tend to think that people will judge us too. It once came as shock to me when I heard this as a feedback for me. But then I thought, may be I should look and perceive things differently.
I share the same kind of personality traits. Introvert at nature > try to open up and then I ramble. For now, just accept yourself the way you’re and slowly you’ll see yourself opening up.
Please keep the past in the past, where it belongs!:-)
You might as well would like to refer this link:
http://www.self-esteem-experts.com/how-the-brain-works.html.Lots of love and positivity to you…
AnyoneParticipantAinka,
My dear, it’s not ok to be in love with any person who is abusive.
You deserve much better than this abuser, manipulator.
Please ignore people and comments who try to put you down,
by commenting on your single status.
Always remember, there will always be people who try to put us down,
we need to show them our strength and stop them. ‘Survival of the fittest’.
Here – strongest.
Please keep the past in the past, where it belongs.
There are many many many beautiful things in life.
Don’t be stuck at the guy who didn’t respect you.
Move on for the betterment of you and your loved ones (family and friends).
You still got a lot to live ahead.
Try appreciating all the small things around you. If you get a chance,
do read Robin Sharma’s Greatness Guide/Daily Inspiration Guide.
Nobody is completely happy in life, it’s how we take life as it comes.
Get up and get going. Again, don’t be stuck.As far as being single goes, I feel I’m lucky to be single for I’m not
with a wrong person. And can take care of my own happiness. All I mean
is….see the brighter side always.About being able to be a biological mother; technology has advanced a lot
to cater to your needs, but the question is ‘if and when you want it’.I have seen people who consider getting married as the biggest achievement
of life, and have complicated a simple and an already easy going life for nothing.Once I read a quote, ‘Figure out what you want and know how to ask for it’.
Peace, love and light to you Ainka.
Get the person and his thoughts out of your head. It’s only corrupting your mind.
Love yourself before jumping to be able to love any other person. You come first.
God Bless you my dear!
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