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KC

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Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
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  • #354580
    KC
    Participant

    Anita and Brandy we spoke  finally and worked things out.  We mightve  both  been wrong to a extent but we are forgetting it and moving forward.  he owned upto his comment  being disrespectful and inappropriate and explained he said it out of being defensive that I saw how he looks.  I suppose I need to also respect his feelings that he lost his privacy and knowing how he keeps his hair there is as personal as  it gets. He understood my side and thanked me for coming to help him not knowing what happened but I gave his key back its just  best that  way. Thanks to you both for your help and advise. Im dealing better with this lockdown as well Ive started to learn how to cook besides ordering pizza!! lollol.

    #353976
    KC
    Participant

    anita and brandy thanks for all your help  and advise in this. anita its not a focus about how he looks rather its his words and me feeling guilty over it. I over explained I guess and i feel bad that he accused me of violating his privacy but I didn’t use his words  because they were crude and inappropriate. I have ocd and deal with depression and this whole lockdown and this incident with him has me stressed that’s why I posed  in health and wellness forum. wish I never went over. brandy I don’t and wont judge him for what I saw or what i know that’s so personal for him.  I will let things go for now your right.

    #353552
    KC
    Participant

    Brandy idk why I asked its his business. this has all been so difficult. I know some men choose to groom that area just as we females do. I don’t have a bf now not for a while but my ex did also. I guess to clarify it  was what he said to  me about how he keeps his hair not  that the fact that he chooses to shave some..not all.. of his hair there. did  that make any sense at all

    #353544
    KC
    Participant

    Anita yes had a key and still have it.

    #353520
    KC
    Participant

    Anita  thank  you  and I will  have  to let  this all take  its course but I am  very mindful of what you say and it is a reality  I  will have   to accept. Regarding what you said (easier to  just copy it and repost here)  “how do I forget what he said”- I don’t think you can forget. Maybe what he said will not bother you much or at all in the future, but you’ll probably remember it. I must forget what he said in order to move forward if we  are  to remain good platonic friends. I don’t want to remember his  words and  I don’t want to remember  how he looks like naked whenever I see him in the future. I am thinking maybe  as Brandy said his accusation of me  violating his privacy is because he is afraid I am going to view him different now or Im always going to remember something so personal about  him and thus his reference about me knowing  how he  shaves his private area was  said defensively and not with malice although it hurt me and was very inappropriate and disrespected  my  good  intentions to help him because  I care.  I  don’t know  but I  want to give him the  benefit if the doubt  and  hope time heals  this situation.

    #353516
    KC
    Participant

    Brandy hi thank you  for  your input! yes I was thinking the same that he is afraid now I will never view him the same or maybe think different of him because I  know how his privates look like and how he keeps his hair “there” (because of his  words he said to  me about invading his privacy   but I realize he could’ve  said it out of embarassment and intoxication) however  I would never ever talk   to  anyone else about  this and he should  know that  about me.  I found this forum   by accident and came here for that  reason to  get honest anonymous   advise without anyone knowing him  or me. I hope  as you say  that he realizes I did   the right thing. Brandy i will  include your points  in the note I eventually write him along with what  Anita recommended  also. Brandy why would he make that reference  even if he  was ashamed and   intoxicated ? K

    #353276
    KC
    Participant

    Anita hi thank you for the great advise so appreciated! Are you near our age? I am giving him time he hasn’t called or text me back yet. I will write a note or card as you said and try that. His words were hurtful and Im still upset by what he said to me and accusing me of invading his privacy when I tried to explain that I didn’t care if he was naked I only wanted to help him.  I tried to reassure him that he still had his privacy. I wont use his words because they were crude and disrespectful but he said no I violated his privacy he made reference to how he keeps himself (his hair “there”).  I feel embarrassed and not ready to write yet but I will if this continues. everything is worst because  this lockdown has everyone so stressed and crazy. I realize hes ashamed and he was drunk people say things they don’t mean when drinking but why would he accuse me of violating his  privacy or make reference to how he chooses to shave that area that’s his business  its personal and I don’t  care! Anita how do i  forget what he said shouldnt  he apologize  to me also?  but I  feel guilty  now  and need to figure this all out. Thank  you for your great suggestions. Is there anything else you recommend.

Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)