Dear Robi

You have not had to go thru anything like what your girlfriend & her mother have been thru.
To be betrayed & then lose a parent/husband, to lose your family home & live with a down turn & uncertainty over finances all in a relevantly short period is not something you recover from quickly or easily.
Your girlfriend chose to do a less well paid job she loved rather than a job she hated, this was probably much better for her longterm mental health & happiness this takes a lot of strength & wisdom.

Many years ago I too had a a LDR & it was me who had to pay & travel. Within a short time I noticed things that were red flags. I was glad that I didn’t quit my family home, job & spend serious money on getting tied up with this person.

Maybe you two are not right for each other for whatever reasons, anyway I am glad that you have dusted off your photographic equipment to do something that hopefully you will enjoy & be inspired by.
Roberta

Hi A quote from a Leonard Cohen song
A……man leaning on his crutch say why ask for so much?
A woman in a darkened door says why not ask for so much more.

Many years later I found out that he had spent time as a Buddhist monk.

Hi Omyk

I hope that you are having a sitting Lent. Indeed you are right about being our own teacher, only we ourselves can do the work of teaching our hearts & minds to be at peace once we have been give the tools. Like most homes will have a bible etc lying around somewhere, but how many chose to pick it up read, learn & put its wisdom into action in their daily life?
Best wishes
Roberta

Dear Confused

The practice I described takes less than a minute of your time, needs no special equipment or location, so in any one day you have at least 600 chances to look after your wellbeing.

In life there are roughly three options in the sense when we are ill we can choose go to the doctor or not. Then we get given a prescription & again we choose whether we collect the medicine & then thirdly you choose whether to take the medicine.
You do not wait till you are better & then start taking the medicine.

May you be well, safe & happy
Roberta

Dear Confused
There are loads of techniques. the quickest & easiest one to get started is to concentrate on the sensations of the air going in & out of your nostrils for say 3-5 breaths to start with this is like putting other thoughts & multitasking on hold for a minute. You can fit these pauses in through out your day ie before you get out of bed, before you take a sip of drink, before you switch your car engine on, whilst cuing in the supermarket, before you eat, before you use your computer or phone.
Roberta

Dear Confused

That is right mindfulness is that process of awareness. In Buddhism we have the three foundations – teachings/contemplation, meditation & ethical conduct. Each of these support the other to help us along the journey. Many people do not like to think or look really deeply about their ethical conduct & what it entails and what they need to do to stop hurting themselves or others.

Maybe you could change your how you think about that empty space you have. It is an open space/clean slate where you have the opportunity to reflect & choose which seeds you want to plant & tend there……love, compassion, wisdom, empathy, community to name but a few or worry, anxiety, grasping & rejecting anger, impatience etc. About a decade or so ago I did a meditation using an apple, then I put the core in a pot with some compost & tended it, it sprouted & eventually I planted it out in the garden & kept it free from other weeds that could smother it, it kept growing & after a few years it started bearing fruit, which now many people can enjoy.

I have to start kinda forcing my thoughts to go another way i guess.. is what you said to Anita….. It is not about forcing thoughts away, more about seeing the thought, not grasping it, but gently letting it go. Then congratulating yourself for the process of spotting & letting go & then choosing where you want to put your attention. So initially you may realize that you have spent 5 minutes on a certain train of thoughts before you realize that they were un helpful. if you can you could try writing the thoughts down in reverse order. So that you can start to see a pattern or links. Then the time lapse between getting pulled into a certain kind of stream of thoughts & the noticing will get quicker, eventually you may even notice that initial spark, thought, movement, feeling or sensation and choose whether or not you want to nurture it.

Have you seen anything about the Walk for Peace – some Buddhist monks have been walking for the last 3 months from Fort Worth in Texas to Washington DC – it fills me with hope & inspiration
I hope that this has been helpful to you.
Roberta

Dear Confused
I am sorry that my style & content does not appear to help you to understand samsaric life in general & or your life in particular.

I have just wrote a line & then deleted it .. the ego level of my mind was starting to take control, but then i heard the wisdom mind thought that said” this is not about me” hence the deletion.
So I will leave it here & wish you happiness & the causes of happiness
Roberta