H Peter

Thank you for your beautiful poem. As I read it my breath slowed & the hurriedness of the day dropped away just leaving the rhythm of awareness to show its presence.
Roberta

Hi Silvery Blue
I have just started to listen to Thich Nat Han audiobook How to Fight on You tube along with a shorter video one How to heal the child in You wisdom for parents by him.
I do resonate with you – my ex boyfriend’s sister is bipolar & alcoholic with now 2 grown children who bore the brunt of her illnesses.
Family & friends are exhausted from the antics & the professionals have also tried. We can do our best for the bystanders who are effected by giving them access to a safe & loving environment to retreat to in times of both calm & stormy weather.
It is hard to separate the person from the illness sometimes you have to put some distance by not chasing after them. Last month she contacted me & I spent 2+hours with her at my meditation centre, listening with an open hart, & showing her some techniques to help get her started. I have not seen or heard from her since. All I can do is pray that the seeds that we planted together that afternoon will bear fruit.

Hi
Yesterday had a walk along the cliffs with a friend & her dog to a historic site, learnt some local history ate an apple & watched the birds enjoying the updraft.
This afternoon I went to a qigong class – bliss to move my body slowly & consciously with my breath, being with a different group of people, smiles all around.
Tonight is our “Peoples Meeting” where the electorate can ask questions of our local politicians about the decisions they will be making at their monthly meeting next week.
I love to dance & sing even though I have no sense of rhythm & can’t carry a tune in a bucket I like to do the housework to the Commitments

Hi Alessa
Yes the gruesome twosome can be difficult to navigate. Does your son have any patterns to his grumpiness like being tired, hungry or needing the toilet?
Children can lash out when they are frustrated at not having the vocabulary to say what they want and the feelings arise within them.

Nowadays many children suffer from overstimulation & too much choice, ie the amount of toys available to them at any one time also the pace of life is very quick so does not give them time to assimilate.

Are you with him during baby classes? You can explain before class that the toys there are for everyone & are for sharing. You can practice this concept at home using his favourite soft toys set in a circle & suggest he choses which toy gets to play with which car.
if you are allowedd to stay in the class you can sit between him & the other child so that you can fend off any lashing out thus keeping the other child safe.
There are many books for children that tackle this subject at a childs level one of them is “hands are not for hitting” also “Feet are not for kicking”
How long are the classes? can you attend for shorter periods or leave part thru session or is there a choice of session times, so that if in general he is calmer & happier in the afternoons that would be the optimal time to attend.
At our preschool we use big sandtimers for popular toys/equipment to help children to learn patience & turn taking.
Does he have a favourite child/children if so encourage him to start playing with them preferably with something that is in abundance & have no strong charecteristics like bricks.
hope this has been helpful.
Thank you for caring about your child enough to be concerned about his behaviour & lookin for tools to help him navigate his world
Roberta

Hi
You have already taken the first step , which is that you have noticed that these thoughts bring you no happiness only more misery.
Each time they arise & you feed upon them it is like you are wrapping yourself in barbed wire so it is not only painful to you but it also puts a barrier up to anyone coming close to you. have you tried a phrase such as “that was then, this is now” say this to yourself each time you notice that you have slipped into the past.
Moment by moment we have the opportunity to choose to abide in peace & wisdom & equanimity.
I will give you a for instance from my life…..the other morning I had to bathe & change my dad whilst he was in bed because he was wet & soiled & could not stand up. I was crying thinking I can’t go on & maybe I should just call an ambulance & have him taken to hospital.
I took a couple of deep breathes made sure my dad was safe & I said to my self you need to go & have some breakfast now & listen to a dharma video. I noticed I was physically shaking due to low blood sugar levels so breakfast was definitely a wise thing to do. The video gave me some perspective & an hour later my dad woke up all bright & bushy tailed ready to get up & go out.
Regards Roberta

Hi Anita

I don’t have much to say as my experience of life does not have the depth & breadth that others have gone or going thru, so although I can commiserate & try to empathize & try to look at things using my limited knowledge & practice of Buddhism.
regards roberta

Dear Debbie
This is what I found a therapist’s code of conduct is a set of ethical principles and professional standards, guided by professional bodies like the BACP and ACA, focusing on client well-being, autonomy, confidentiality, and boundaries. Key principles include promoting client welfare (beneficence), avoiding harm (non-maleficence), respecting client autonomy and dignity, maintaining confidentiality and professional boundaries, and acting with integrity and honesty. Therapists must also ensure their own self-care and stay within their competence, referring clients when necessary.

Do you feel that you can trust & respect her in future sessions?
Since she did back pedal she may have already done some self reflection on how & why she spoke that way to you. You could write to her asking why she chose to make that particular comment. Hopefully her reply would clear the way for your next session not to be polluted by her comment should you wish to have her as your therapist.
Kind regards
Roberta

Hi Miss Duchess
Have you come across this concept? Muditā (Pāli and Sanskrit: मुदिता) is a dharmic concept of joy, particularly an especially sympathetic or vicarious joy—the pleasure that comes from delighting in other people’s well-being. or luck.
When we can be happy at anothers good fortune we lessen our own tendancies of a jealousy & comparing mind.
If we give ourselves narrow & time sensitive expectations we block ourselves from the world of other possibilities that can bring us joy & contentment.
I wish that you find long lasting happiness & fullfilling life whatever the journey is.
Kind regards
Roberta